Girlfriend pissed off about me playing Poker *DELETED*

[Aces McGee]

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laughed out loud while my roomate and girlfriend were making out on the bed across the room

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Pretty cool of you... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

-McGee

[citizenkn]

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I used to have similar problems. Two things:

1) Learn about variance/SD/winrate, etc. Then drill it into your girlfriend (the stats, that is [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]). Make her understand you can't win everytime, but you are an overall winner.

2) Spend some quality time with her and treat her with some of your poker winnings.

The solution really is that simple.

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An even simpler solution---never talk about daily swings. Ever. Talk about lifetime winnings and monthly winnings, and that's it. People who don't like poker or gambling don't want or need to be educated about variance and winrates.

My girlfriend used to freak everytime I talked about a bad night, but since I just shut up about the bad swings, and let her see only the long term results, she's much happier

[charlie_t_jr]

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I don't believe that either person in a relationship should make DEMANDS on the other person on how to change....We're there to make each other stronger...not to boss each other around and give each other demands and ultimatums.

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I like that a lot...now if I could find a woman who thought like Bob....

[Catt]

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I don't believe that either person in a relationship should make DEMANDS on the other person on how to change....We're there to make each other stronger...not to boss each other around and give each other demands and ultimatums.

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I like that a lot...now if I could find a woman who thought like Bob....

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Did you not read astroglide's advice in the second post of this thread? It addresses your situation, too:

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that's a difficult, but common situation.

i think i speak for most of us when i say that the best play is to post a bi-curious ad on craigslist and see where things go. just keep an open mind, and be safe. most of us have been where you are and had to make the change ourselves. there is be plenty of support (and companionship!) to be found among the men here.

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[JohnnyHumongous]

Is her ex-husband still trying to kill you?

[charlie_t_jr]

My ass is sore enough from sitting in front of the computer.

[SmackinYaUp]

This is meant for the OP and is completely serious:

1. family
2. girlfriend
3. hobbies

or

1.family
2.hobbies
999. psychotic, nazibitch, unwilling-to-bend-for-[censored] girlfriend

[MicroBob]

we are thankfully past that little episode.

[jzpiano14]

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Well...that's a different situation than the OP who said he has a regular job and likes to spend A LOT of his spare-time online and at the casino.
I don't think it's jumping to an extreme conclusion that he is not spending much time with his girl.



Your question for my situation specifically isn't quite relevant because it isn't likely to happen.
She doesn't understand the poker thing at all but trusts my judgement to not sit there and blow away all my money if poker turns for the worst somehow or if I totally suck.

I have stated on here AND to her that I don't know if I'll play poker for the next year or 5 years or 10 years or what.
I am NOT committed to playing this for the rest of my life....but it's also possible that I could for all I know.


I have told her that I would have no qualms about going back to a regular 'job' if the situation were to present itself. This would include EITHER online-poker no longer being worthwhile/profitable for me OR a job-offer coming along that I was interested in taking (and that I thought paid decently).

She has her concerns of course...but I am very impressed with her ability to not be judgemental about it (obviously many people ARE pretty judgemental).


If she WERE to tell me that she would be more comfortable if I got a regular job than I would strongly consider it.
A year or two ago I don't know if I would have reacted that way....but I would certainly have listened to her.

I have asked her if she would want me to get a real job and she has said that it's my life and she wants me to be happy with what I'm doing.

She's also keeping her fingers crossed that that means that I don't go broke and leave her as the main-income for our future family.



Okay - I'm still dodging it a bit.
If she were to actually DEMAND that I get a regular job that would pay $35k or less a year (which is pretty much what it would be if i got back into radio or dealing blackjack) and I felt that it was truly in my best interest to continue on my poker-path than I would insist that this IS what I want to do and what I think is best.


If she were to say "I'm walking out the door unless you stop playing poker completely" then I think we might actually be over (assuming I was still a winning player and had valid reason to think that I should continue playing poker).

This is NOT because I value poker more than her (because I don't) but because it would be such a dramatic change from her previous attitude that I would then be pretty convinced that I was no longer with the same person really.


I don't believe that either person in a relationship should make DEMANDS on the other person on how to change.
It's something they should discuss and be willing to work on both together AND on their own.
We're there to make each other stronger...not to boss each other around and give each other demands and ultimatums.


This might be somewhat hypocritical because I know that if she OR i became a total drunk or cocaine-addict or something that either one of would DEMAND that the other one better do EVERYTHING to lose that habit or else it's over.
But I know full well that she understands that poker is NOT the same as drinking or cocaine use (at least in my case).


I know that if my mom can handle the fact that I play poker for a living that it can't be THAT freaking bad.
And I know that my GF understands that I'm very careful with my bankroll.


Those are some of my rambling thoughts on this topic.
I don't think I would want to date someone who was so closed-minded (which obviously includes a LOT of people) but I admit that there are probably about a zillion exceptions out there.

Tough question.

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damn bob, lot of time on ur hands?

[jzpiano14]

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Get her involved: Pokerhead.

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Wouldn't that be the day....we could all wish