Neo-cheating. The rising menace!

[Dingo Puppet]

I win because I read THE BOOK. Simple as that. I've won so much I don't need to win anymore to be happy. So I will share a sample of THE BOOK here with you all. If you haven't discovered THE BOOK yet, you are playing poker at a huge huge disadvantage. In fact, you might say that anyone who hasn't read THE BOOK is a fish. Because without the knowledge gained from THE BOOK, you can't really be a winner.

[ QUOTE ]
PREFACE
The Neocheating Revolution

Imagine if simple techniques were available that would enable anyone -- after only a few hours of practice -- to invisibly relieve cardplayers of all their money. Now imagine if those techniques were available to everyone. What would happen to poker? And what about other card games played for money such as blackjack, bridge, and gin? Would poker and other card games break up and vanish as this effortless and invisible cheating spreads?


Effortless and invisible cheating? Is that only a dream of those seeking easy money and prestige? Well, that dream has come true. The dream is called Neocheating. And this book identifies, illustrates, and teaches Neocheating -- clearly and completely.


Neocheating will eventually become known around the world. Cardplayers from the Las Vegas professional to the neighborhood amateur will increasingly use Neocheating. It is contagious and will spread like an epidemic. Yet by simply reading this book, you will have armed yourself with the knowledge needed both to profit from Neocheating and to turn back all threats of the Neocheating revolution.

FOREWORD BY JOHN FINN

For the first time, good players need to worry about getting wiped out. A new breed of cheater is invading the card tables. He is the Neocheater. And the Neocheater does not lose.


Neocheating is quietly spreading. What will happen when hoards of people using Neocheating invade card games throughout the world? Those people could drain all available money from all players and games. The resulting paranoia and chaos could eventually destroy most card games played for money.


Neocheating is invisible. How can it be stopped? The Neocheater is impossible to catch in the act and hard to get rid of. Indeed, all honest players unaware of Neocheating are in financial danger. Only the readers of this book can prepare themselves for the Neocheating revolution


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So to anyone who ever wondered how someone could stay to the river with pure shittola and hardly a hope and a prayer to win, then go on to scoop that gigantic pot from you, well now you know. They are neo-cheating. It's everywhere now. Only a new-cheater can spot another neo-cheater at a table. They'll quietly stay out of eachothers way while they fleece each of you one by one. If you aren't a neo-cheater, you have no hope in poker.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
So to anyone who ever wondered how someone could stay to the river with pure shittola and hardly a hope and a prayer to win, then go on to scoop that gigantic pot from you, well now you know. They are neo-cheating.

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Or maybe they're just a goofball who catches cards.

[Dingo Puppet]

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Or maybe they're just a goofball who catches cards.


[/ QUOTE ]

Naw, pretty sure they would be a neocheater.

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13. What makes the Neocheater unbeatable?


The maneuvers of Neocheating are so subtle and the mechanics so easy that they can be executed with relaxed confidence. Guaranteed winning hands such as four aces can be routinely obtained. And more than one powerful hand can be dealt at a time to ensure a big score (e.g., in poker: four aces to the Neocheater and four jacks to the victim). Yet, unlike the cardsharp, the Neocheater seldom stacks powerful hands or goes for big scores (although he easily can). Instead, he casually uses just enough of his power to give him constant, unbeatable advantages. In fact, he may never even Neocheat for himself, but instead simply use Neocheating to shift money from the strongest players to the weakest players and then win legitimately from those weak players. His steady, hidden attack lets him win consistently and comfortably in poker, blackjack, bridge, and gin -- week after week, year after year.



[/ QUOTE ]

[Stagemusic]

Wheee. Let's have some fun with this one. Me first.

[ QUOTE ]
Neocheating will eventually become known around the world. Cardplayers from the Las Vegas professional to the neighborhood amateur will increasingly use Neocheating. It is contagious and will spread like an epidemic. Yet by simply reading this book, you will have armed yourself with the knowledge needed both to profit from Neocheating and to turn back all threats of the Neocheating revolution.


[/ QUOTE ]

Does anyone else see the misplaced logic in this statement? If it "spreads like an epidemic" and becomes "known throughout the world" then it will no longer be "invisible". I don't know who writes this crap but a few lessons in extemporary writing would be of value. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[TimM]

Well, once you hack into the matrix it is easy to change the cards as they are dealt. Duh, who didn't know that.

There is no spoon. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Lazymeatball]

The source of Dingo's quotes mostly describes a few slight of hand tricks that only work in games where players get to deal themselves. I'm not sure what's so "neo" about it, or why dingo has posted it for us here.

[harboral]

Frank R. Wallace wrote a number of poker books - most from 1968 to 1980. The best editiion of "Poker - A guaranteed Income for Life" came out in 1980. It is an excellent work for a beginning player, and has very good concepts for home games with weak players. I enjoyed it 20+ years ago. The main character in his "stories" is John Finn, the great winning player.
In 1980 Wallace also came out with "Neocheating - The unbeatable Weapon for Poker, Blackjack, Bridge and Gin" Obviously we all need to worry about its "spread" across the green felts of America......... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] (It's only been 24 years, right?) AL

[Piers]

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The best editiion of "Poker - A guaranteed Income for Life" came out in 1980.

[/ QUOTE ]

1980?

I got mine for a pound or so in a second hand shop in Blackheath about 25 years ago. It was the nineth reprinting done in 1976, first published in 1968. Thats 20 years before I stated playing poker, quite an amusing piece of work.

[Dingo Puppet]

Yeah, I was just joking around. Came across this book online last night. Thought it was hilarious. He even states that through neocheating you are able to deal yourself four aces at will, while giving your opponents four jacks. Not through slight of hand or palming cards either.

So I wonder what the hell he is talking about.