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#1
03-27-2004, 01:36 PM
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Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
Good lord. Oh my God. Sweet fancy Moses.
What if you gave a dumb little party, and everyone you had ever met showed up? If, by "dumb little party," you think I mean "a little $300 buyin NL tourney," and by "everyone you had ever met" you think I mean "over 1100 people," then you know what I mean. Now, Foxwoods, well, they always seem to fall under one of the following 3 categories: a. "We didn't know!" b. "We couldn't help it!", or c. "We couldn't care less!" On Friday, March 26, 2004, the answer was a, b, and c. I get to the God-forsaken place at about 9AM to register for what I assumed would be a nice, civilized little test of poker accumen, contested by 4-500 moderately-talented folks out for a good time and a little prize money. Uh, no. There was a line about 150 feet long to the registration desk. It was not moving. I was then told it was to be used only for "alternates, as there were 1100 entrants." I did not stay in the line. I left the line. The line was, simply, not for me , all things considered. So, quite naturally, I stumble over to the board to try and get a 40/80 or maybe even a little bigger. There were 40 people at the desk, all vying for the attention of ONE man, who, perhaps in defiance of convention, perhaps as a result of some misanthropic power trip, or perhaps because he was simply temperamentally ill-suited for his position (read: Foxwoods Employment Guidebook and Regulations), was categorically disinterested in providing the attention required to perform the task. Rather, he was having a personal conversation with one of the many Racing Form-carrying mopes who people the place. They seemed to enjoy themselves, and that's nice, I suppose. There are no holdem games above 20/40. There are six 5/10 games, AND 110 NAMES ON THE LIST. There are lists, but no tables or dealers available for, a 75/150 and a 50/100. Plenty o'names. Yup. You betcha. So, uh...onto the 20/40, the 50/100, and the 75/150 lists. OK. After about 45 minutes, I'm first on the 20/40 list, and each of the four 20/40 tables is SHOUTING "Seat open, 20/40!" for like 15 minutes. Nothing. Finally, I say to myself, I say "Self, why not just go and sit down?" Just as you do not tug on Superman's cape or spit in the wind, do not "just go and sit down" if you visit Foxwoods. You will be verbally bitch-slapped (which is NOTHING compared to what happens if you even think about using your cellphone). Anyway, I stand for another 15 minutes, everyone's unpleasant, this trip is unpleasant, this place is unpleasant, this entire LIFE is becoming unpleasant, and I say to myself, I say, "Self, let's you and me get back into our Q45 and drive ourselves back to our home and be with our good woman, who would, of course, love it if we were to come home right now." I start to walk away. Then, of course, just as lighting a cigarette is the best way to get the bus to come, "D.T.--20/40 HOLDEM. D.T. 20/40 HOLDEM." Honey will just have to wait. I rappel, spellunk, and otherwise--and with great grace and athleticism--maneuver my way to the table, sit, beat it for about $400 in two hours (in spite of the fact that they clearly have the janitorial staff dealing today), and then, miracle of miracles... "New 75/150 game starting...", and he calls the names on the list. I am one of the names. Maybe they've recruited some of the busboys to deal this game. Abject and inane story short, I drop a little under a rack in 7 hours at a table that Scott Stapp and David Schwimmer could have murdered. I was never up more than a thousand. I took several brutal beats, and I made ONE bad play the whole time, none of which I'll post, because you've heard it all before, and because it might detract from the snide and generally ugly tone of this post. Why muddy the water with poker, of all things? At 2AM, I go down to the valet to get my beautiful luxury vehicle from the grade school kids who were running the valet (everyone else was dealing). As I was walking past the Sunrise Sunnyside Sunburst whatever Ballroom, where the tourney had been taking place earlier, I happen to catch a glimpse of the room, and make a mental note to edit the above sentence from the past tense ("had been") to the present tense ("is still.") The style that I have chosen here does not require an edit, as the fact has now been stated. Math Time: The tournament started at 10AM. It was, at that moment, 2AM. There were 4 tables still playing. Therefore... I swing the V8 onto Rte. 2, jump onto 95, take the Tanker Disaster Detour at exit 38 over to the Merritt, jump off at exit 44, snake along 58, pull into the driveway, go upstairs, and tell my girlfriend (whose name, by the way, is Deborah) that I love her, and that from now on, she need only walk downstairs to my office to see me when I am playing poker, as I shan't be attending any more of these gatherings. She is glad to hear this, so I'd just like to go on record and thank Foxwoods for their inability to even aspire to the prescience necessary to avoid such a fiasco as yesterday's. I hope everyone else enjoyed themselves, though. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] 
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#2
03-27-2004, 01:51 PM
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Re: Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
I get to the God-forsaken place at about 9AM to register for what I assumed would be a nice, civilized little test of poker accumen, contested by 4-500 moderately-talented folks out for a good time and a little prize money.
Why on earth would you expect such a small turnout? Math Time: The tournament started at 10AM. It was, at that moment, 2AM. There were 4 tables still playing. You must have seen some satellites. The tournament was down to 10 players at 1 AM when I left. Other than those two nitpicks, I agree with most of what you said. The busier Foxwoods gets, the more I enjoy playing online. It's harder and harder to rationalize a 3 hour round trip when I know I'm going to have to wait 2 or 3 hours to get in a game once I get there. Just to give everyone an idea how long the lists were, Joe Tall put his name on the 5/10 and 10/20 lists at 3 PM. He got into a 10/20 game relatively quickly (less than 2 hours I think). We went to dinner at 8:30 and got back to the poker room at around 10, just in time to hear his name called for 5/10. Yes, a 7 hour wait.
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#3
03-27-2004, 02:01 PM
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Re: Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
Yep I agree with everything that you said. However the games are very, very good and during non-tourny times, you can usually get into a 10/20 or 20/40 in 1/2 to 1 hour.
As bad as the Mohegan Sun room was run in former times, many of us are just waiting for the persistent rumor that MS will reopen it's poker room to become reality.
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#4
03-27-2004, 02:06 PM
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Re: Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
It was pretty much what I expected. They just couldn't handle the turn-out. Considering the circumstances, I think we've probably seen the end of the three hundred buy-in.
Still, somebody made $160,000 first prize on a $340 investment.
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#7
03-27-2004, 02:52 PM
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Re: Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
You know, I really enjoy the way you write.
It was almost like being there. Aaaauugghh! Maybe I didn't want to be there. Anyway, thanks for sharing. I enjoyed your suffering. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
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#8
03-27-2004, 02:55 PM
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Re: Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
[ QUOTE ]
Why on earth would you expect such a small turnout? [/ QUOTE ] Well, last year they got like 250 for the same event. The previous events this year have not been OVERRUN, so I thought maybe doubling the turnout wasn't too crazy. [ QUOTE ] You must have seen some satellites. The tournament was down to 10 players at 1 AM when I left. [/ QUOTE ] Oh. I was drunk. Anyway, it was a long-ass tournament. Ultimately, my point was just that I think I'm done with the place, until they expand into the smoke-free gaming section or start free burrito giveaways. By the way, could it be any noisier in that room? I still have a headache. I saw Motorhead in 1984, and it was only marginally worse, from a tinnitus-inducing standpoint.
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#9
03-27-2004, 03:01 PM
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Re: Foxwoods--The Blunder of It All! (Long)
You know, my chief complaint with the place isn't the quality of the dealers (although god knows, there's sure room to complain there). My complaint is with the rather inept/indifferent floor staff.
When there are waiting lists of hundreds of names, with waiting times of hours, it sort of burns me to be playing (or watching someone else play) short-handed at a table with 2-3 empty seats, because the floor person is too busy doing nothing to call in the empty seats. Just about every time I've been down there, I've gone several orbits at a table with empty seats, just because the floor person won't fill them. And, you know, when most of the people who could be filling the seats are fish who'd bet/call everything, it sure does make a difference in potential earnings.
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