Questions for GrannyMae

[Inthacup]

Granny, in your quick departure, you left Cup with many unanswered questions. If you'd kindly answer these questions now, I'd greatly appreciate it.


1. What's sex with Mason like?

2. How does one shed one's self of 'amateur cunnilingus' techniques?

3. What's better: Coca Cola or Pepsi and why?

4. Who the [censored] is MiniMae?

5. Will you ever beat me in a HU match?

6. Where's the beef?

7. Fill in the blank: I would like to ______ Lucy Jones.




These questions have been troubling me for a while. Thanks.



Cup

[GhostOfMae]

I think she's gone for the night. However I think she may enjoy this quiz. Stay tuned.

GoM

(Who is NOT a virgin, and has actually had more sex in the last week than GM has had in her LIFE)

[Simon Diamond]

I'll add one to these aswell: what does Granny think of the hand Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]?

Simon

[BottlesOf]

Here's another:

Where d'ya go?

[BBill]

Ha! My extra-ordinary sense of presumption was right again.

[hooplah]

Ahh, GoM your back to make good on our previously devised wager of Who's Who in the Zoo, is this true ?

hoop

[HavanaBanana]

Hey Granny Mae, I got a question too, Cyndie/Mary was claiming that u2 were tighter than 3 virgins in a taxi driven by Michael Moorer, the reason you came back from the Dead was to clear this issue up right?

Hope you have retained all of your sharp toungue, as it was getting limp in the time period formerly known as your last days.

Mason must be a happy camper now, all this time in celibacy...

[William]

I would love to fill the blank in No. 7:
7. Fill in the blank: I would like to ______ Lucy Jones.
but the moderator would probably delete the post [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[GrannyMae]

1. What's sex with Mason like?

it depends. <----- btw, i taught him this answer. don't believe otherwise

sometimes when he shows up, he has been up all night at the printers. he does xeroxing and stapling so he can save the 3cents/hour conjelco pays their illegal korean immigrants (former pro-poker investors). while this MAY add some +EV to his writing fees, he smells like a corndog that has been under the heatlamp too long at a carnival. sure, it is still long & crispy, and usually harder than normal, but it has dried out under the batter so is wrinklier than usual, and tastes like aged swiss.


if he has returned from the bellagio big game ($4-$8 LHE, half kill), and has lost to more than 4 suckouts that lay beyond the normal S.D., then he wants to be flogged while i repeat over and over:
"mason, you are the best player in the world. yes, even better than david. don't worry, it is all one big session"
he replies:
"say it again mommy, please say it agin! especially the part about me being better than david"

then WHACK, i smack his beautiful, yet oddly pale tail again until we both collapse in a heap of ashtray sand that he clips from the elevator ashtrays at bellagio on his way to self-parking.

(you don't expect me to PAY for kitty litter, do you??)


finally, if he has had a great day at the tables, or just successfully closed a dutch aution on eBay (4 books, $3.82 each PLUS shipping), that he spammed for a week under an alias at rgp, then things are awesome. lots-O-tounge, very little drooling, and a loving finale of dual, self-administered enemas before he shaves my corns to help me fall asleep. by morning, he has slipped out like a cockaroach under a door. (which suits me fine)



2. How does one shed one's self of 'amateur cunnilingus' techniques?

for most people this would be an easy answer cuppy. it is all in the tecnique and practice from a simple childhood skill you no doubt mastered.


HOWEVER, i fear that the similarities in the shapes of clitorii and penii have you hopelessly confused. small penises do NOT count as big clitorises, so stop practicing on ramashiva and just come to terms with your sexuality. your affiliate babies will still respect you.


3. What's better: Coca Cola or Pepsi and why?

pepsi makes my burps louder, but coca-cola brings up small chunks that are delicous when re-ingested. therefore, both have their advantages. was this a trick question, punk?





4. Who the [censored] is MiniMae?

this is the only question that i can't answer. it remains a mystery that is only comprable to "how does chewed corn and peanuts reform themselves in my colon?" i seek this answer, and even my lil' mini won't budge. i have seen the other side a couple of times, and the answer still eludes me. she is the bastard mae, undoubdtedly conceived of satanic seed, but she is a GOD. bow down in her presence, as you are among greatness when she is in the building.



5. Will you ever beat me in a HU match?

we have never played. my potty-trained spider monkey stood in for me that day. seeing as how monkey-mae almost kicked your ass, i'm sure the answer is "on the first try"
however, to make things fair, i will let monkey-mae play until the blinds go to 30-60, and i will turn OFF WinHoldem as i sit.




6. Where's the beef?

unzip your fly, and you will have eliminated one location




7. Fill in the blank: I would like to ______ Lucy Jones.

I would like to have 1% of 1% of the deal she made with Potty Poker in the early days.
(you don't think she puts up with you st00pid idiots for the pleasure derived from a job well done and a satisfied client, do you?? she's freaking LOADED)


bonus questions:

8. what does Granny think of the hand Q [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 5 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] ?

played under the correct circumstances, and played correctly, it is a powerhouse. played the way you FOOLS play it, it is... well, umm it is a powerhouse.

what would be interesting would for you all to see MY pokertracker results of this hand. hmmmm





9. Where d'ya go?

i had a contract job. needed to train a bunch of oddly dark-skinned people, with oddly-catholic names how to handle oddly-behaving people that seem to freak because of server crashes and disappearing buttons. but my job is done, all are trained, and the technical glitches are COMPLETELY solved.



10. Cyndie/Mary was claiming that u2 were tighter than 3 virgins in a taxi driven by Michael Moorer, the reason you came back from the Dead was to clear this issue up right?

she mistyped. we were tighter than 3 schoolboys in a taxi driven by michael jackson. just a minor typo, but certainly changes the implied relationship.



and from william:

I would love to fill the blank in No. 7:
7. Fill in the blank: I would like to ______ Lucy Jones.
but the moderator would probably delete the post

WHAT MODERATOR?? you mean mat? HA! he is an underling of lucy's, a paid employee of party, a shill king, the God of spam, the ultimate sellout and a kiddie-copper that has neither the nerve, nor the extra testoserone needed to EFF wit' granny.
(but just in case his nads grew, SORRY MATTY, u are the bestest!!)



Roy West is on his way over, and i must prepare some deep-fried sloppy joe and mayo pockets with cream and eggyolk sauce.


my typist is bored (and mortified), but i thank him.

see you guys soon





Granny

[47outs]

My gut has busted and speeud all over my monitor. I now have to retire from poker for the evening and try to come to terms with what I have just read. I hurt from laughter and am red with envy... brilliant Granny, brilliant.