The holidays, loneliness, depression, and poker

[Al Schoonmaker]

Although this forum usually deals only with poker psychology, there have been several recent posts related to loneliness and depression. Since I am not a clinical psychologist, I asked a psychiatrist about the relationship between the holidays, loneliness, and depression.
She told me that the holidays are a very stressful time for many people. They feel lonelier and more depressed than usual, and they often do foolish things trying to make themselves feel better.
The danger is obvious. If you play poker to ease feelings of loneliness and/or depression, you will probably play poorly. Nobody plays well without confidence. If you then lose, you can easily become MUCH more depressed and move quickly down a slippery slope. The long term consequences could be disastrous.
Her advice could not be simpler: If you're feeling depressed, DON'T PLAY POKER.
Regards,
Al

[Lawrence Ng]

Hi Al,

Merry Christmas to all the two-plus-two posters.

Pyschology is no doubt the hardest thing to master about poker. Well perhaps its the second hardest thing to master, luck is still the first imo. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

But Al makes an interesting point that I notice in my cardrooms. Many players are often lonely and sad. They play day in and day out and rarely if ever are happy people.

What I do notice is that the successful players are often those who have fun playing the game and are enjoying it even when they are losing because they understand that poker is really just a game and they don't treat is as an addiction.

[CrisBrown]

Hi Al,

Lemme guess, you waited to post this til I'd realized what my problem was and had decided to take a few days off just because you're out to get me.... [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Seriously, I play poker online as a second job, and the past couple of weeks have been pretty rough. It seemed to have started with runs of awful cards (over the course of a week I was seeing only about 8% of flops) and then spread to overplaying what marginal cards I did catch, and indeed that might have been the course of things. But in looking back over it, it may also simply have been that I typically suffer from holiday depression (don't ask) and more and more I was using poker as a way to avoid thinking about the responsibilities and chores that had to be done ... and not because I really wanted to play poker.

Fortunately, a combination of a few decent finishes and good bankroll management (i.e.: moving down in stakes when I realized I wasn't playing well) cushioned the financial blow. I can win back my losses in 3-4 SNGs, so I don't feel like I made an utter fool of myself.

And, once I quit trying to escape the holiday buzz by playing poker, I got more involved with the holiday buzz, and we actually managed to have a very nice Christmas. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Now if you'd just posted this about a week ago....

Cris

[pretender2k]

I once wrote a poem on Christmas about feeling like I was on the outside watching everyone else have fun. We must realize as poker players that take the game seriously and realize that luck has nothing to do with winning that WE ARE DIFFERENT. We do not follow the herd and often our trail is a lonely one. Actually I find that as I get further into this game I am more in touch with how I really feel. Some nights I choose not to play because I believe I will not play well because of the way I feel that day. Reguardless of the reason I must deal with that, but realize most people just do things without any or very little clue of why they are doing them and most people here call them fish. I call them cows because they get milked eveyday on schedule while we do the milking. They are not bad people they just don't choose what they do. Choice and responsibility are they keys to true freedom. I realized this only a few years ago when I started reading Ayn Rand's books.