Fear and ego, meaning in nothing, enlightenment to Self.

[J. Stew]

There is meaning in nothing. It’s just that we want to create our own meaning, we want control, the ego wants control of reality, to find it’s own meaning so it has something to cling onto because the ego itself is created out of fear. When you are fearful, you seek to control something. When you are not fearful, you aren’t trying to control anything. There is no ‘you’ when there is no fear. Fear drops away, so ‘self’ drops away. But when this small self drops away, there is something in the void. It is the void itself which is You. You are the void, to be anything else is to be thinking. If you are thinking, you are fearful of something.

Even when you think, ‘I have to buy eggs at the store,’ there is some fear. You are repeating it because you are fearful you will forget. You already know you need eggs at the store, but you repeat it to yourself because you have some fear, however small. The culmination of these fears creates your ego which then dictates how you act, when you are ignorant to what the ego really is.

When the fear is gone, there is emptiness, and that emptiness is You. But then the ego comes back in another form. You see this emptiness that is you, and you feel peaceful in it. You want to remain in this state so you have desire. From this desire comes trying. You are trying to remain as this emptiness because you put value on the clarity that it is. But by trying, you create ego. You have created the ego that is trying to be something other than that which You already are. The ego creeps back into the picture. Then you begin to understand that thinking anything about this clarity just creates confusion/ego/delusion, because ego itself is delusion to what you really are, so now you can be unaffected by the thoughts in your head that say you are something great. It not worship, it is the absence of worship of Self. It is just being the Self behind the self/ego until you see that the ego is really the nothingness that you already are. Now the Self can be clearly seen and the practice of honing in on Self is needed because even though reality has been glimpsed, the conditioned ego keeps thinking. That is why the cultivation of ‘right’ attitude about the thoughts in your head is essential.

To realize you are really not your thoughts, and not to think anything of that, is the ‘right’ attitude. And that is where I am right now. I am honing in on the thing that is there when I’m not trying to be anything. How do I do that? I just continually let go of the thoughts in my head. They come through, which means I am thinking them, but it is my relationship to my thoughts which dictates whether I attach to them or let them freely float through and dissipate. The unaffected, non-judgmental, but still see them clearly mentality is the right opinion on thought I think. An opinion comes in your head, so what, it is a thought, it is nothing. Can you just know that it is nothing? Can you not tell yourself, this thought is nothing so I will not believe it, which is actually more thinking. Can you just be confident in the nothingness that you are? Because when you see the nothingness that you are, there is something, there is meaning, but it’s not the just the feeling of drinking a beer or smoking a cigarette, or doing some drugs, it’s the clarity that provides the meaning. The feeling that results from clarity is the feeling that results from clarity. It’s not, the feeling first, and then the clarity, which is what our egos want. Our egos want to control reality so we can always get what we want. This is from a root fear that the nothingness that we already are isn’t ultimately fulfilling. We want to experience fine sensual pleasures because we can control that. If we want something nice, that makes us feel good, we can just buy it, or work hard to make money and then buy it. But that cycle of desire stems from the ignorance about the nothingness you already are that is actually filled with meaning. The meaning comes from just seeing the truth about things. You see the truth when you just look at it, without the ego’s constant judging. The ego wants to say this is good and this is bad to protect itself, and your body. It does this because it itself is built out of fear. When you have no fear you have no ‘you’. All that is left is Big You, which is physically everywhere. Hone in on this everythingness by just being it. Don’t think this sounds like new-agey [censored] because to think that way, is to reinforce the ego which is like binding your mind. If you just do it, you will see that it takes courage to be that open, and when you start on the path of being open, you see that there is nothing you can’t open up to, therefore, you already are everything, you just didn’t realize it.

If I think of a person who is generally not ‘open’, I see someone who is scared in some way. This person has some fear which is affecting their mentality. It is actually deluding them to what they really are. If they realized what they really are, which is emptiness, they would not be scared. But there is fear because we are ignorant to our ego’s nothingness, which creates more fear. Fear begets fear, absence of fear begets absence of fear which is really nothing, or just absence which is the void, which is You, or the Self that is there when the small self/fear drops off.

Enlightenment is just the realization that you are nothing, and then something, which is actually everywhere.

-J.

[KaneKungFu123]

recognition isn't being.

[J. Stew]

My ego still wants to define it, conceptualize it because, I have some fear that I will lose it if I don't have some concept to hold onto. When I glimpse reality I see that you are right.