An eerie silence when I get home

[Gamblor]

I never understood why kids were so depressed when their pets died. I mean, it's a dog.

At 5pm today, as I prepared to head to a Contracts class today, I got a sad call from my mom to tell me that, while out on a walk with my mom, my dog was killed at the age of 7 by a car as he crossed the street.

I immediately drove home in rush hour traffic, cursing and swearing at every car who dared not to be driving full speed. Ready to shoot anyone who so much as looked at me funny, I made my way home and pulled up to my house. I broke into a run and jumped up the 3 stairs at once.

There, on our front porch and wrapped in a couple towels was the lifeless body of Mac.

I was pretty stoic, staring at him, I peeled back the towels and took a long look at his face. God, he was an awesome dog. I couldn't help but let out a few expletives every few minutes. Other than that, I didn't have much to say, but my mom heard me from inside the house and came out to see me. I immediately ran inside and grabbed everything I could that belonged to him, his toys, his old leashes, and threw them in a garbage bag.

We wrapped him up and met my dad and brothers at the Animal Hospital. With the dog sitting on the table, the Vet came in to talk to us but I didn't really listen. It wasn't until the Vet left us alone for a few minutes that I just collapsed. Staring at the pile of towels on the bench that held my dog was too much.

Bawling my eyes out, I couldn't imagine walking in my front door and not having him run up to say hi. I couldn't imagine not having him on walks following me around no matter where I went. I remember his tail wagging like crazy every time he thought he might get a belly scratch. His sheer joy at the thought of getting a cookie, even if it meant he had to do a variety of ridiculous tricks (no "sit" or "roll over" here) so I could entertain friends. I can't imagine not having him at the end of my bed every night, then, against my rules, having him jump up when he thought I was asleep and lie down next to my feet. I can't believe I won't throwing him any more tennis balls while my mom demanded I stop and then throwing one more. I can't imagine sneaking him upstairs (where his presence is prohibited) when my parents left the house, just so he could hang out while I played online.

I sat at the Vets crying for 10 minutes before regaining my compusure. The drive home my mom and I joked about all the crazy crap he did.

Then we walked in the front door. Within seconds, I was bawling again.

[censored], it just hurts. No other word to describe it.

I guess I understand why people care so much.