Why is playing poker so stressful to me?

[MarkSummers]

I'm a senior in college and have built up a $50 bankroll to a healthy size and am mostly playing $10/$20 limit online. I've been playing this limit for a while but when I play, I get really stressed out by it.

For example, say someone raises and another player cold calls, I have pocket kings and 3 bet it. I start getting a really tense feeling in my chest because of the possibility of a huge pot but also because I know that I can lose. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but when I'm in a hand and betting against a big field with top pair or two pair or something like that, I get real tense. I know that someone out there is drawing to a flush or a straight and when they hit it, I'm going to have to pay them off or fold and wonder if they really did have it. The only time I'm relaxed is if i have the nuts or the near nuts or if I have clear folds.

Also, I get depressed and dejected when I lose with a hand like AQ and i get top pair only to be check raised on the river by a flush or whatever hand outdrew me. In fact it just happened where I folded my split pair of aces after the caller check-raised my value bet on the river when a third club fell. I would have been so angry when he showed down that flush that and that feeling is what I hate the most about poker. I dont know if I'm crazy or not or if anyone else knows what I mean. It's just such a heavy and bad feeling in your chest after a beat or making a tough decision when being checkraised on the turn. Sometimes that feeling makes me want to stop playing just so my life can be less stressful.

I think I understand the game pretty well but, I know that when I'm in a big pot or whatever, my emotional attachment clouds my ability to make an objective judgement on the correct play sometimes. Some would say that if that's a problem, the stakes maybe too high, but I do have a healthy bankroll for the limit and playing lower just feels like a waste to me. I really haven't been winning at all since I started playing this level and I know it's my own fault. I'm pretty much hovering around at even and I know I'm not winning because of dumb mistakes I do that will wipe out any trace of a winrate I establish.

I think I'm just expecting too much out of myself and I'm expecting to win boatloads of money whenever I play and I know that's not the case. It's all about the long run and the winrate but, damn, is it tough to keep that in mind after getting drawn out on [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Anyway, I'm sure that crap like this has been posted numerous times but I guess it's good for me to vent like this. And if anyone has any words of wisdom, I would appreciate that. I know there's no magic solution.

[Jeffage]

If your chest gets tight, you're probably playing at a limit above your actual and/or psychological bankroll. Define healthy bankroll...you build 50 into what exactly? Tell me 7 or 8 grand, that's healty...tell me 1 or 2, no wonder you're stressed.

Adopt a professional attitude. No one wins every time, and even the best players will have periods of heavy losses. All you must concentrate on as a player is making the best, most plus EV decisions possible. The cards fall how they fall and have no memory. Also, if you only think you play well, but actually don't...that will lead to stress. Good luck.

Jeff

[MarkSummers]

[ QUOTE ]
If your chest gets tight, you're probably playing at a limit above your actual and/or psychological bankroll. Define healthy bankroll...you build 50 into what exactly? Tell me 7 or 8 grand, that's healty...tell me 1 or 2, no wonder you're stressed.

Adopt a professional attitude. No one wins every time, and even the best players will have periods of heavy losses. All you must concentrate on as a player is making the best, most plus EV decisions possible. The cards fall how they fall and have no memory. Also, if you only think you play well, but actually don't...that will lead to stress. Good luck.

Jeff

[/ QUOTE ]


Thanks for the reply. Bankroll is even higher than 10k. Very healthy for 10/20. I just have a hard time keeping that professional attitude.

[wall_st]

There was a post on this a while back and Dr Schoonmakker commented on it. I can't find it but basically this guy about your age said the same about when he was playing.

The good doctor concluded that the guy was probably playing too high for his own health and it was hurting him healthwise. Do a search there was some good advice in the thread.

[TStoneMBD]

play lower and see if it has the same effects. 10k might theoretically be an appropriate bankroll, but thats a bankroll that youre supposed to be willing to lose. the money youre playing for probably matters too much for you. you probably need more money to play in that game and thats nothing to be ashamed of.

[SNOWBALL138]

Here's a shot in the dark. Maybe its worth a try.

Try to play for shorter sessions making a constant effort to think clearly and make the right decisions the whole time. You could start with 90 minute sessions and gradually work your way up. Don't play longer sessions until you are satisfied with your play in the 90 minute sessions. Then play 2 hour sessions, etc. This approach is kind of like endurance training.

Best of luck,
Snowball

[dibbs]

I dont even play at your level (not close to it really) but have had some similar experiences in the past.

Money should matter to you, but in this game you'll play your best ONLY when you are obsessed with making the right move, not what is at risk. Being well bankrolled helps, but I think the most important thing is time. Over tens of thousands of hands I found that your pain threshold gets harder, the more time you spend in these situations the more comfortable you become, and when you are more comfortable you play better.

As far as the emotional attachment to hands, to me thats death in poker. Ive learned the hard way, but even if you have gorgeous hole cards, a perfect flop, but at one point you have a losing hand and you know it is a losing hand, you cut your losses. Playing correctly (which makes the most money in the long run, which is all that matters) requires you to invest in a hand only when the odds favor you. If you push the best hand the whole way but get drawn out, in essence, you won, not him. You made him make several mistakes, he LOST. so sit back and enjoy your accomplishment that you totally outplayed a guy and laugh when you think about the long run.

If you are really uncomfortable in your game, I'd suggest moving down. It aint glamorous, but if you arent enjoying poker and playing your best, you will lose money and develop a dislike for the game.

Do what you can to fix your problem, but if you find you cant, and poker is a negative influence in your life, ditch it, theres a lot more to life, its not worth the stress.

Good Luck.

[Dan Mezick]

[ QUOTE ]
I have pocket kings and 3 bet it. I start getting a really tense feeling in my chest


Also, I get depressed and dejected when I lose with a hand like AQ


I would have been so angry when he showed down that flush that and that feeling is what I hate the most about poker.


It's just such a heavy and bad feeling in your chest after a beat

My emotional attachment clouds my ability to make an objective judgement on the correct play sometimes.


I really haven't been winning at all since I started playing this level and I know it's my own fault.


[/ QUOTE ]

Listen to that feeling in your chest. It's a protective warning.

My guess is you know in your chest that you are playing too high for your bankroll. Scale down to 5-10 or even 2-4 and see how it feels.

When that protective warning goes away, make careful notes about the ratio of roll-to-stakes and always play with that ratio in place.

If you take a hit move down to keep the ration above your risk-of-ruin risk tolerance.

You dont REALLY want to lose your entire roll at 10-20, do you? That feeling in your chest is telling you to leave the 10-20 game WITH your money.

Boring is good. It indicates zero emotional content. Shoot for boring at all times.

Hope this helps.

[SNOWBALL138]

[ QUOTE ]
Boring is good. It indicates zero emotional content. Shoot for boring at all times.


[/ QUOTE ]

[BZ_Zorro]

Relax, it's just poker. Who gives a [censored] if you win or lose?

You're a senior in college, the only thing you should get nervous about is girls. Do something real that scares the [censored] out of you, like trying to pick up and [censored] someone hot. That should fix you up.