I know I'm thinking irrationally, but I can't seem to help it!

[Buck_65]

Hey everyone,

I've been lurking around this forum for a little while and it is about time I begin a thread. I have a problem with tilt, and I like to believe I have a complete understanding of why tilting is completely irrational behavior.

The thing that sets me on tilt is long stretches of cold cards in which all the cards I do receive become losers to poor players making egregious errors. I do understand that these players are essentially shoveling their money in my direction by playing this way, and yet I have difficulty reinforcing this concept in my unconscious mind.

I'm a fairly significant winner at 2/4 over 35k hands, and I'm foolishly allowing a measly 3k hand downswing of about 100bb get to me. This is seriously nothing, I understand that downswings oftentimes last for upwards of 10k hands (I don't believe the hype that they can last 20k hands, at that point the player is doing something horribly wrong).

I'm 4 tabling as I write this and I'm in the midst of (I believe) my 9th losing session out of 10, which is bound to happen. My downswing isn't even severe, and I'm allowing it to effect my play.

I have a lot of growing up to do, and I believe the root of my problem is deep within my unconscious mind. I think I'm letting too much self-talk get to me. I'm a neurotic person with Cyclothymia (a moderate cycling depression that will likely never go away). Perhaps poker isn't for me, since it seems to stress me out more than it ought to when I'm losing. I can't imagine I'll be able to give up the game, as I've proven my ability to crush small stakes hold em and I'm surely addicted to the game on some level.

Any suggestions? I'm sure I'm not alone here...