Confronting Strangers

The Dude · #1 05-24-2005, 01:18 AM

So I'm watching a movie tonight, and in the row behind me, on the edge next to the aisle, there's a young couple with a 5 year old daughter. She spends the first 45 mins of the film intermitantly making noise and letting everybody know she doesn't want to stay in her seat. She then spends the next 30 minutes hopping around in her seat, rolling down the steps on the side, and running back and forth across the aisleway in front.

So finally I got up and talked to the father, who was quite obviously offended and got very defensive. I don't really want to get into the gist of the conversation we had in the theatre or afterwords when they approached me about it, but I do have a question for you guys.

Why is it so hard to confront a stranger? I'm not a shy person at all, and I don't fear confrontation. But I sat in my seat at least 20 minutes longer than I had resolved to confront them. Generally, I think everybody wants to mind their own business, but when a confrontation is appropriate, why do we put it off as much as we absolutely can?

thatpfunk · #2 05-24-2005, 01:20 AM

I hope you asked for your money back from the theater.

brassnuts · #3 05-24-2005, 01:21 AM

Confronting strangers about their own family can be a really touchy situation. I might have just complained to someone who works for the theater. I've never done this, though, and don't know how they usually respond to complaints about other viewers. That all said, I really hate parents that don't control their children in theaters, or in any place for that matter.

eric5148 · #4 05-24-2005, 01:23 AM

This is why I don't go to movie theatres unless I REALLY fucking want to see a movie. And also why I'd shoot myself if I ever had kids.

The Dude · #5 05-24-2005, 01:27 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I hope you asked for your money back from the theater.

[/ QUOTE ]
No, I don't think the theatre did anything wrong. If I wanted to see the movie again, I wouldn't be opposed to asking the theatre for another ticket, but since I'm not then I won't.

nolanfan34 · #6 05-24-2005, 01:31 AM

Two reasons I think. One, most people instinctively try to use confrontation as a last resort. But the other reason is, you'll take that extra 20 minutes because you want to think the best of humanity, and you hope the parents will wake up and shut up their kid before you're tempted to tear some arms out of sockets.

I think parents with kids get the benefit of the doubt that extra time as strangers, because it's embarassing to watch someone who can't control their kids in public. We were at Dennys the other night and there was a mom with like 4 kids, who were climbing all over the booth, hitting each other with menus, taking off their shirts, crawling under the table, etc. And she just sat there and did NOTHING. Pissed me off.

nolanfan34 · #7 05-24-2005, 01:32 AM

Oh, and what was the movie? Because parents who take kids that age to see movies that they CLEARLY will have no interest in, is another of my moviegoing pet peeves.

TStoneMBD · #8 05-24-2005, 01:32 AM

by confronting them, you know that they may think you are essentially telling them they are bad parents. its probably pretty obvious that they either dont know how, or cant do anything about their daughters noise. if thats the case they should certainly leave.

you dont want to confront them because you dont want to go out of your way to pick a fight. even though you know you wouldnt be a jerk for telling them to control their daughter, they will see you as that and you want people to like you.

besides, the daughter may stop and you want to give it a chance because the longer you wait, the less of a jerk they will think you are.

eric5148 · #9 05-24-2005, 01:34 AM

[ QUOTE ]
We were at Dennys the other night and there was a mom with like 4 kids, who were climbing all over the booth, hitting each other with menus, taking off their shirts, crawling under the table, etc. And she just sat there and did NOTHING. Pissed me off.

[/ QUOTE ]

You were at Denny's. Wtf did you expect to see? The Cosby's?

[censored] · #10 05-24-2005, 01:37 AM

I would guess it is just a general fear of the unknown about where the situation will go.

A lot depends on what you mean by confront. If you were polite and simply explained that you were having trouble enjoying the film then there probably wasn't much reason to worry. However if you confronted in a way that backed the guy into a corner of either looking bad infront of his family or having to esculate with you, then yes I could see why you would be somewhat worried.