Online Poker is Rigged......Ive had it

[Sincere]

I cant take it anymore. Im quitting online poker forever.

So I was playing my usual 24 tables of 2-4 today and I was delt my Q5 of spades on 11 of these tables simultaniously. Must be some sort of sign I say. So I cap every street on every table I can. I end up winning only 2 of the 11. For a net of -$221. Can you believe this crap. The Q5 of spades is suppose to be a monster. How dare these newbs threatin my visions of grandour?

After this happens I notice I have to take a piss. So I sit out on 16 tables. Hey, I gotta still have some action. Plus I have a built in urinal right next to my computer. So Im pissing long and furious, while folding AA, AJ, 10,10, and some other junk becaue I cant consentrate on that stuff while pissing. Plus I have to light up my 74th cigarrette of the morning while taking a piss.

But, as I light one up I accidently drop the cig and it lands in my pants. Fuuuuuudge. My pubic hairs are catching fire. I reach for my hieniken but then I remember that commercial on tv where the guy pours one out on his guitar. Hell, I dont want to do that and waste a beer. So I splash some urine water on my crotch. But, some splashes me in the face and gets in my mouth. Now Im gagging and still furious about losing 9 of 11 Granny Maes. Now all of the sudden I explode a puke all over my monitors and keyboard. Sh it!!! Im so freaking mad that Im on tiltballs and I dont have time to clean this crap up so I just sit back down in a piss and puke puddle and hit deal me in on the other 16 tables. Well, on table 8 I get the AA. Yeah, bring it on beotches. I cap that sh it all the way to the end and some dumb numb nuts turns over Q5 for two pair and proceeds to type in the chat box "pwned" Now Im really pissed so I take 17 hits of crack and open another internet window and start to look up porn so I can masterbate while playing. After busting my nut, I realize I am down almost $1200 and I decide that online poker is so rigged and my dreams of playing professionally are just that, dreams. Great, back to working at the Shell station.

I quit this game.

[radek2166]

NICE!!!!!!!

[young nut]

summed up pretty well.

[grouchie]

Sincerely?

[Izenra]

WHAT ? IT REALLY HAPPENED! OMG!

I am quitting poker too. I don't want this sort of thing to happen to me. I love my pubic hair!

poker is rigged!!!!!11!1!1!11!!111

Note: Nice story [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]!

[ttleistdci]

nh

[pokerrookie]

Poker is not rigged. 11 hands is a small sample size. Come back when you have played Q5s around 112,000 times. If you are still losing, then we can talk.

[The Legend]

Here's your problem. You have to look at porn while playing. The porn sites own party and choose whether or not to put you in distribution mode. Ask any consistent winner here, and they'll vouch for me. Beastiality doesn't count though. Believe me, I've tried.

[bholdr]

NH. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Subfallen]

Thx!, I needed a laugh. nh