sup bro's streetracing report

Sup Bro?? · #1 04-19-2005, 08:32 PM

so last night sup bro decided to hit up the street races in the hood to show off the new modifications he had made to his bright red trans am. this was a big race bro, a 2 grand entry fee with the winner taking it all, but sup bro was not worried bro. see sup bro not only excelled on the field as an all-county lineman, but was also a very good driver. he even received an A+ in driver's ed bro. there's a reason why sup bro had 15 tackles for losses in '95 bro, it's because sup bro is super strong and in excellent shape bro. and don't even dare accuse sup bro of juicing, sup bro believes in hard work and dedication unlike that barry bonds punk, which is what makes him the living legend he is today. so anyways sup bro's super strength allows him to shift gears faster and push the gas pedal harder than any other bros out there which is what makes sup bro such a superior driver bro.

so sup bro lines up at the line with a bunch of gangster wannabes in their weak japanese cars. there is a crowd surrounding some bald dude with a red japanese car and apparently he is the favorite, because these bros from the hood don't know that sup bro was all-county in '95 and had 15 tackles for losses, if they did they would be all over this bro but sup bro is humble and does not like to brag, so he just gets in his car and revs his trans am bro. some white punk in an eclipse starts to talk [censored] to sup bro, and as sup bro is about to go knock him down like he knocked down offensive linemen in '95 he realizes that this white punk is his old buddy brian o'connor, who was the kicker on the football team. Most of the bros on the team didn't like o'connor because he was a kicker and some even took his lunch money, but sup bro realized what a nice kid brian was and started being nice to him. of course the entire football team became nice to him as well because sup bro is such a living legend that everyone tries to follow his way, though none of them made all-county in '95 or had 15 tackles for losses. sup bro of course shows his good sportsmanship by wishing brian good luck in the race, because sup bro is confident bro, that's how he gets all the women and the tackles for losses bro.

so sup bro, brian, the bald dude (who's name turns out to be dominic), and some asian punk in his ugly little civic with those ugly tail lights are at the line to race. the gun goes off and sup bro with his superior leg muscles floors the car like no other bro and jumps out to a quick lead. as sup bro shifts into third he gets passed by dom and brian who are using their pansy NOS systems and brian even opens up a huge lead on sup bro. but this bro isn't worried bro, because sup bro has his secret weapon ready.

now contrary to popular belief, sup bro was just as excellent in the classroom as he was on the field bro. he was 2nd in his class to some asian punk who studied all day and even scored a 1600 on his SATs. when football didn't work out he ended up getting a PhD at UCLA in physics bro because sup bro is a physics master which also helped sup bro make perfect tackles for losses by hitting people at the right speed and angle bro. anyways so sup bro had built a special jet engine and had installed it in his trans-am to propel himself to speeds like no other bro. so sup bro activated his jet engine and the car flew forward at such an insane speed that he passed brian and dom and crossed the finish line at over 300 mph bro. the only problem, bro, was that there was a problem with the brake system when the gas pedal got stuck and sup bro kept going faster, faster, 400 mph, faster, faster 500 mph, faster, faster...