To Howard and Paul: A Backing Request!

[Vince Lepore]

Dear Paul and Howard,

I am desperate! The Bellagio Third Annual Five Star Event begins Next Week! I need you! I am a broke Poker Pro. I need backing in these tournaments. You are the only two people in this whole world that I feel I can approach with this request. We have never met, that is true. But I have been a big fan of each of you ever since the beginning of the WPT. I have followed both of your careers with keen interest and have wondered at your tremendous consistent play and accomplishments. You two are, in my humble opinion, simply the best.

My research has shown you two to be open, honest and caring men. Men of character worthy of all of the admiration that many here and on other poker discussion groups have showered upon you. Others have told me that you both are generous kind fellows that are always “there” to help a fellow poker pro.

I am that poker pro that needs help. Let me tell you a little about why you should back me.
1) Mason Malmuth is a buddy of mine. Yes, the Mason Malmuth. I would ask Mason to back me but he’s been too busy editing a Sklansky manuscript to return my calls. At least that’s what his wife tells me when I call. I have no reason to believe otherwise since we are best friends and I don’t have any reason to think he would avoid me
2) David Sklansky talks to me once in a while in the sports book at the Bellagio. Well, actually he stares at me and laughs. I know this doesn’t sound like much but anyone that knows David knows that he doesn’t find a lot of things funny enough to laugh at. Well, at least not in the sports book. I would ask David but he never stops laughing long enough for me to get a word in edge wise.
3) I once met and shook hands with James Woods. He’s a poker player now you know. So by shaking my hand one could imply that he respected my play. Don’t you think?
4) I flopped Quad Aces against ARod in a 15-30 Holdem Game at Bellagio. It was before the start of last baseball season and I believe one of the reasons that the Red Sox won the World Series or at least the play offs against the Yankees. This should convince you that I have the ability to win the WSOP. World Series of Baseball, World Series of Poker… you see the connection.
5) I am listed on the Hendon Mob Web Site as a major tournament pro. I understand that they only show two small Omaha Hi/lo tournament placing but that should be enough for pros of your caliber to see that I will excel at WPT No Limit Tournaments once given the chance. A chance I am begging you to provide for me.
6) Jennifer Harmon, Chip Reese, Lee Salem, some Ira guy and someone else were playing $4000-8000 at the table next to my 15-30 game last night. I could see how they were playing and picked up a lot. Well at least until the security gaurd told me to clear the area. I felt a little disrespected at first but then she threw David Sklansky out too so I felt better then. But just in the short time that I watched I saw Jennifer win a big pot (I hope she doesn’t mind me calling her by her first name. I have never met her. Well once but I’m sure she doesn’t remember me). Of course they were playing 2-7 draw but I don’t see how that would make a difference to my Holdem Game. A poker game is a poker game is a poker game, I always say.

I could go on but I’m sure that you can tell from these few examples that I am the man you want on your team. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mean to imply that you guys are cross booking each other in those big WPT tourneys I only want you to feel as if I’m your “horse”. Not a horse to be ridden because I don’t do things like that…anymore. By horse I mean like when you bet on a horse in a horse race. You know like Seabiscuit. Well, not just like Seabiscuit because I think he’s dead. Speaking of Seabiscuit, I forgot, but I once saw Toby McGuire playing no-limit at the Mirage. That should count for something in my favor. It was funny too because he was trying to disguise himself with a beard and baseball cap. Oh yeah and one time in a Mirage tournament I knocked out Norm McDonald but he was the only one I knocked out because I got knocked out on the next hand. But at least I knocked him out. IF you don’t believe me you can ask Gabe Vetri. He sometimes posts on 2 + 2 and can verify that I knocked Norm out because he is Norm’s buddy.

Well, there you have it. I think you should have enough information to make an informed decision. I estimate that I need about 45k to compete comfortably in the Bellagio Tournament. Of course I could play Satellites and keep the cost down. Say to maybe 30k. Chickenfeed for “players” of your stature and wealth. For your investment I’ll give you 30%. O.K. 40%…wait…wait 60%..70? 82.5? Ok you name it and I’m there. Please let me know soon because if you guys can’t do it I’ll have to ask Mason and he’s hard to get on the phone.

Thanks Paul and Howard for listening.

Vince

[Oluwafemi]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Paul and Howard,

I am desperate! The Bellagio Third Annual Five Star Event begins Next Week! I need you! I am a broke Poker Pro. I need backing in these tournaments. You are the only two people in this whole world that I feel I can approach with this request. We have never met, that is true. But I have been a big fan of each of you ever since the beginning of the WPT. I have followed both of your careers with keen interest and have wondered at your tremendous consistent play and accomplishments. You two are, in my humble opinion, simply the best.

My research has shown you two to be open, honest and caring men. Men of character worthy of all of the admiration that many here and on other poker discussion groups have showered upon you. Others have told me that you both are generous kind fellows that are always “there” to help a fellow poker pro.

I am that poker pro that needs help. Let me tell you a little about why you should back me.
1) Mason Malmuth is a buddy of mine. Yes, the Mason Malmuth. I would ask Mason to back me but he’s been too busy editing a Sklansky manuscript to return my calls. At least that’s what his wife tells me when I call. I have no reason to believe otherwise since we are best friends and I don’t have any reason to think he would avoid me
2) David Sklansky talks to me once in a while in the sports book at the Bellagio. Well, actually he stares at me and laughs. I know this doesn’t sound like much but anyone that knows David knows that he doesn’t find a lot of things funny enough to laugh at. Well, at least not in the sports book. I would ask David but he never stops laughing long enough for me to get a word in edge wise.
3) I once met and shook hands with James Woods. He’s a poker player now you know. So by shaking my hand one could imply that he respected my play. Don’t you think?
4) I flopped Quad Aces against ARod in a 15-30 Holdem Game at Bellagio. It was before the start of last baseball season and I believe one of the reasons that the Red Sox won the World Series or at least the play offs against the Yankees. This should convince you that I have the ability to win the WSOP. World Series of Baseball, World Series of Poker… you see the connection.
5) I am listed on the Hendon Mob Web Site as a major tournament pro. I understand that they only show two small Omaha Hi/lo tournament placing but that should be enough for pros of your caliber to see that I will excel at WPT No Limit Tournaments once given the chance. A chance I am begging you to provide for me.
6) Jennifer Harmon, Chip Reese, Lee Salem, some Ira guy and someone else were playing $4000-8000 at the table next to my 15-30 game last night. I could see how they were playing and picked up a lot. Well at least until the security gaurd told me to clear the area. I felt a little disrespected at first but then she threw David Sklansky out too so I felt better then. But just in the short time that I watched I saw Jennifer win a big pot (I hope she doesn’t mind me calling her by her first name. I have never met her. Well once but I’m sure she doesn’t remember me). Of course they were playing 2-7 draw but I don’t see how that would make a difference to my Holdem Game. A poker game is a poker game is a poker game, I always say.

I could go on but I’m sure that you can tell from these few examples that I am the man you want on your team. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mean to imply that you guys are cross booking each other in those big WPT tourneys I only want you to feel as if I’m your “horse”. Not a horse to be ridden because I don’t do things like that…anymore. By horse I mean like when you bet on a horse in a horse race. You know like Seabiscuit. Well, not just like Seabiscuit because I think he’s dead. Speaking of Seabiscuit, I forgot, but I once saw Toby McGuire playing no-limit at the Mirage. That should count for something in my favor. It was funny too because he was trying to disguise himself with a beard and baseball cap. Oh yeah and one time in a Mirage tournament I knocked out Norm McDonald but he was the only one I knocked out because I got knocked out on the next hand. But at least I knocked him out. IF you don’t believe me you can ask Gabe Vetri. He sometimes posts on 2 + 2 and can verify that I knocked Norm out because he is Norm’s buddy.

Well, there you have it. I think you should have enough information to make an informed decision. I estimate that I need about 45k to compete comfortably in the Bellagio Tournament. Of course I could play Satellites and keep the cost down. Say to maybe 30k. Chickenfeed for “players” of your stature and wealth. For your investment I’ll give you 30%. O.K. 40%…wait…wait 60%..70? 82.5? Ok you name it and I’m there. Please let me know soon because if you guys can’t do it I’ll have to ask Mason and he’s hard to get on the phone.

Thanks Paul and Howard for listening.

Vince

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
nothing else needs to be said.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Beerfund]

That was a lot of typing, wouldn't "I'm an idiot" have been easier? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Voltron87]

There were a couple bits there which were funny. The first post of yours which had any redeeming value.

[Vince Lepore]

Thank you.

vince

[Mike Gallo]

Vince,

Good post. I miss the days of the Volkswagon van and the "According to Vince" forum.

If you need a back, send me a pm. I know a bent nose who offers to back me all the time.

[Mike Gallo]

[ QUOTE ]
That was a lot of typing, wouldn't "I'm an idiot" have been easier? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

How about you responding..nice Aprils Fool Joke. Vince is a legend around here.

[trying2learn]

that was the best vince post i've ever read...hands down.

granted, i've only been reading his thoughts for about 6 months, so if he was a legend before then I don't know about that.

funny stuff...finally.

[Voltron87]

It's a compliment in one way, because this post made me laugh, but an insult in every other, since I also said all your other posts were less than worthless.

[Vince Lepore]

Well let me tell you what Ive' PM'd to quite a few people that have replied to me. And this is to Every other poster that feels it necessary to reply to this or any of my posts just to tell me how stupid or bad my posts are. I apologize to you for wasting your time. Please and I mean this sincerely, please use the ignore button on me. You will no longer be bothered or waste your time reading anything that I post. I intend to do the same for you.

Again accept my apolgy and have a nice life. We never need correspond again.

Vince