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#1
01-11-2005, 11:14 AM
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Worst. Pun. EVAR!
Can anyone beat this? This is RETARDED, and yet I still laughed:
Steven and Sam Clam were good friends in the ocean, even though Steven was very devout and religious and Sam liked to drink and party. They got along well, and despite Steven's efforts to witness to Sam, he never made a decision. Eventually they both died. Steven, of course, went to heaven and Sam went to Hell. One day St. Peter notices Steven sitting next to the street of Gold, playing the blues on his harp, looking a little down. "Is everything all right?" he asks the sorrowful shellfish. "Well, it's not that heaven isn't great," he replies, "but I really miss my buddy Sam. We were really good friends and I'm sad about being eternally separated from him now." "I understand," said St. Peter. "We don't usually allow this, but in your case, because you did try so hard to win Sam over, I will let you have a 24-hour pass to go see him. You must be back in time, however." "Really? You can do that? That would be great. Thank you so much!" Steven says and takes off to visit his buddy. Upon his arrival in Hell Steven is a little taken aback. It wasn't quite the suffering he had expected. In fact Sam seemed to be doing fairly well. He had his own nightclub which played music from the 70's and many other inhabitants of Hell seemed to enjoy going there. Steven even sat in with the band for a few numbers on his harp. Sam and Steven talked and talked and soon it was time for Steven to return to heaven. With only minutes to spare, Steven returned to the Pearly Gates. "Did you have a good visit?" inquired St. Peter. "Yes, I did, thank you." Replied Steven. He then got a look of panic over his face and exclaimed, "But I've got to go back! I've got to go back!" "Why? I told you you could only have 24 hours." Steven replied, "I left my harp, in Sam Clam's Disco......" 
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#3
01-14-2005, 12:38 AM
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Re: Worst. Pun. EVAR!
This is a tremendous pun. It's one of my favorites.
My version has the two characters as Larry the Lizard and Sam the Clam, and St. Peter questioning Larry as he arrives late to the gates of Heaven: "Larry, what's happened to you? Your wings are broken, your halo is crooked...and where's your harp?" -McGee
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#5
01-14-2005, 01:15 AM
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Re: Worst. Pun. EVAR!
I don't get it. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]
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#7
01-14-2005, 01:31 AM
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Re: Worst. Pun. EVAR!
I dont think that is a pun.
rJ
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#9
01-14-2005, 05:12 AM
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Re: Worst. Pun. EVAR!
I was expecting it to be really dirty.
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#10
01-15-2005, 01:41 PM
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This one\'s pretty bad
A group of legionnaires strode through the scorching desert.
They hadn't had water for three days and hadn't eaten for a week but they did not crack, and kept marching solidly on. Suddenly one of them froze, "Psssst" said he. His companion halted, and strained their eyes to where the first legionnaire was pointing. "Le voila", said he, "Regardez, mes amis, isn't zat a bacon tree on ze 'orizon"? And sure enough, there it stood, proudly and defiant in the middle of the desert, a true bacon tree. Slowly they crept forward towards the mystery object far off. Inch by inch, centimetre by centimetre, until they were within a stone's throw of the bacon tree. Even nearer they crept, and suddenly, a shot rang out, dropping one of the legionnaires in his tracks. The other legionnaires hit the ground as bullets thudded into the sand around them. The other two returned fire, and gave first aid to their wounded companion. Even as they bandaged him, they could hear his faint voice - "Zat was no bacon tree," he gasped, "Zat was an 'am bush."
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