I need a table coach coach (very low content)

[on_thg]

For your bemusement. Names other than mine have been edited to protect identities.

I clearly need a coach to help me deal with table coaches. I mean, I can't believe how much I forgot to add to this running dialog. I didn't get to drop names of people that have owned me, ask what kind of fish I was, If he had an affiliate code at Party, how I could improve my play (only play AA and KK, boss?) etc... Can anyone help me out?

Here's the backstory. I'm playing $0.10/$0.20 Turbo NL at Prima. The table has a $20.00 max buyin. I'm playing my patented loose/weak NL style (let's not sugarcoat things - I suck, but I've had a good run). I love a table that's passive preflop -- nothing more than min raises or up to 5x the BB or so. I have a bad habit of limping with a wide range of hands and playing hard after the flop. Like I said, I suck. Flame as much as you want.

Anyway, the table picks up a couple of very aggressive players. They're p---ing me off by preflop raising to $5, $10 or all in. You can't play any 2 soooted cards for those kind of stakes! I resolve to get even.

Finally, after only getting to suck out on these clowns once or twice and suffering a beat or three, I get my chance. I pick up KK in late position, after a small stack has gone all in and one joker has called. I push him all in and he calls. Joker flips QQ (small stack had rags, I think), and KK is goot. Other joker takes off.

The table picks up some new players, and two of them promptly get in a raising war. I have 10-9 of spades (sooted!) UTG and I limp. Villain #1 raises, Villain #2 reraises. I call. Villain #1 raises again, followed by villain #2. I'm tired of this and decide to see if they've got anything. I re-raised enough to put the smaller stack all in and put up or shut up. They both instacall. Oops.

Cards are flipped. Villain #1 has AA, Villain #2 has KK. Yep, 10-9 sooted is a bit of an underdog.

Flop is 7-8-10 rainbow. Okay, OESD. I push out a couple more bucks to put the other villain all-in (hey, why not go nuts?).

Turn is a beautiful 6 for the 10-high straight, river is meaningless brick. I drag a $30.00 pot on a truly awful play.

Villan #2 is p---sed, and here's where the fun begins:


> On_THG wins $29.40 with a Straight, Ten high
testy> lol
testy> you bet that CHIT like that?
testy> wow
> R01 wins $3.10
On_THG> sorry about that.
testy> then stumbled into a winner? incredible
> G did not act in time and was folded
testy> np you're obviously an awful player [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
testy> gl bud
On_THG> true that
> Aces wins $0.19 with a Full House, Deuces full of Fours
> F wins $0.19 with a Full House, Deuces full of Fours
> On_THG wins $0.19 with a Full House, Deuces full of Fours
testy> stupidest move I've seen all day [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
On_THG> yay me!
On_THG> but you'
On_THG> 're wrong
testy> lol
On_THG> I sucked out with 72 off earlier
testy> hardly
On_THG> THAT was stupidest
testy> ahh
testy> so you're one of those stupid but lucky players then....well obviously [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
On_THG> pairs of 2s on river GOOD
testy> 9T vs KK and AA lol
testy> that's one for the books
> G wins $3.05 with a Straight, Seven high
hum> [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
> R01 wins $0.90
On_THG> What can I say? I ike getting 2-1
> hum wins $1.20
> R01 wins $1.20
> R01 wins $0.40 with One Pair, Jacks
> R01 wins $0.60
> hum wins $1.55 with One Pair, Jacks

The table coach left somewhere in there, and the two or three remaining players (neither villan reloaded)
wandered off after a few more hands. I just sit out once it gets to heads up and concentrate on the other
2 tables I have open.

Apparently, coach hadn't had enough, as he comes back while I'm the only one sitting there:


[Observer]testy> chased everyone off eh? guess they dont like playing with cheaters
On_THG> I thought I was just dumb
[Observer]testy> no way on earth you're playing that way and winning
[Observer]testy> no way
On_THG> high variance poker, my friend. That's my game
[Observer]testy> you won 65 dollars sitting there playing that way?
[Observer]testy> uh yeah
On_THG> nah, only 45. $20 was the buyin
[Observer]testy> well I'm reporting you for investigation....you're either the luckiest player on earth or a hacker
[Observer]testy> if you're just dumb lucky then I apologize, but that was the worst play I've ever seen
On_THG> As you wish. You've obviously never played drunk.
On_THG> And you both had short stacks
[Observer]testy> and you're winning like crazy
[Observer]testy> no I dont play drunk
On_THG> Too bad some of the other guys who were raising like crazy left.
On_THG> they had my number
[Observer]testy> clearly
[Observer]testy> you're sitting there with $45 profit and getting beaten?
[Observer]testy> please
[Observer]testy> have a good day...I'm off to write an email
On_THG> Really. I was down at least $5 earler
On_THG> Come sit at one of my other tables
[Observer]testy> no thanx I hate stupid players that are constantly getting lucky
[Observer]testy> makes me puke when I play good odds and lose
On_THG> did u have the KK or the AA? I forget
[Observer]testy> KK
On_THG> So you were an underdog anyway
[Observer]testy> 23rd time In a row I've lost with it
[Observer]testy> to AA yes
[Observer]testy> not to your *
On_THG> if it makes you feel better...
[Observer]testy> it doesnt
On_THG> I got busted out of a tournament tonight...
On_THG> with AA cracked by J6 off
[Observer]testy> Im fine it was only $10 you just get sick of seeing stupid players profit
[Observer]testy> that was the worst play I've seen in months
On_THG> You should play at my table more often.
On_THG> I make stupid plays all the time
[Observer]testy> ...and here you are +$45
[Observer]testy> sounds pretty friggin smelly to me
[Observer]testy> obviously
On_THG> yeah, but I'm down almost a buck on my other tables
[Observer]testy> so you're only +$44 awww [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
[Observer]testy> pity
On_THG> lol
[Observer]testy> you play that stupid on every one?
On_THG> yup
[Observer]testy> and you're down a buck?
On_THG> well, i'm in a hand, so it might be 2 soon
[Observer]testy> you should be getting *ed and you know it
On_THG> oops, 88 held up
On_THG> now I'm up $0.50
[Observer]testy> well I'm requesting an investigation
On_THG> Please feel free.
[Observer]testy> if you're innocent of collusion or hacking then I apologize
On_THG> How much have you lost tonight?
[Observer]testy> your play and success is so far out of whack
[Observer]testy> havent
On_THG> well, that's good at least
[Observer]testy> was up 111.61 BBs before that *
[Observer]testy> had I lost to AA I wouldve said hey NH bud
On_THG> all at 0.10 0.20?
[Observer]testy> nope
[Observer]testy> mostly .05/.1
On_THG> still a good night
[Observer]testy> yes
On_THG> You're obviously much more knowledgable than I am.
[Observer]testy> I took it from people that played like you
On_THG> I just play 2 cards that look good
[Observer]testy> you're a gd liar
[Observer]testy> please dont insult my intelligence
[Observer]testy> you know exactly what you're doing
On_THG> you don't value suited connectors?
[Observer]testy> absolutely
[Observer]testy> I certainly dont raise like that pf though
[Observer]testy> nobody sane does
[Observer]testy> they're limp hands and you know it
On_THG> the people at the table b/f you got there sure did
On_THG> I got into the spirit
[Observer]testy> they're stupid then and they lost
[Observer]testy> ...and rightly so
[Observer]testy> stupid players lose
On_THG> yep, I got lucky
[Observer]testy> uh huh sure
On_THG> and I'll probably lose too
[Observer]testy> over and over and over
On_THG> because of dumb plays like that
[Observer]testy> hope so
[Observer]testy> the dumb play had a huge payoff
On_THG> sure did
[Observer]testy> well good day I've entered a note for your nick and I will be sending an email they probably wont do *
On_THG> just played 86 o in the SB
[Observer]testy> that's just too far outside the statistical norm
On_THG> it made a boat.
[Observer]testy> nh
On_THG> $5 profit.
[Observer]testy> how wonderful for you
[Observer]testy> and I play decent hands to win [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
[Observer]testy> the things you have to do when you dont cheat [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
[Observer]testy> bye now
On_THG> maybe you ned to losen up in BNL
On_THG> in NL
[Observer]testy> I tire of your phony ignorance
[Observer]testy> no thanx
On_THG> Your call.
On_THG> you're a winning player, I'm not
[Observer]testy> I'm +13.31bbs in 18k hands
[Observer]testy> I do fine...I just cant count on stupid luck to win
On_THG> obviously. You play correctly, I don't

[AncientPC]

Don't call with a suited connector out of position when it's 2 raises back to you . . .

[on_thg]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't call with a suited connector out of position when it's 2 raises back to you . . .

[/ QUOTE ]

And here I thought 10-9 suited was the best hand in poker. Silly me.

[IggyWH]

WOW... I think I killed more brain cells reading that than I would have smoking crack.

[Gallopin Gael]

[ QUOTE ]
And here I thought 10-9 suited was the best hand in poker. Silly me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Everyone knows that it's 72 offsuit [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[on_thg]

[ QUOTE ]
WOW... I think I killed more brain cells reading that than I would have smoking crack.

[/ QUOTE ]

Glad to do my part.

I just hope I can be up 13.31 BBs by the time I've got 18,000 hands in. Unless I keep getting magical suckouts, it doesn't look likely. My coach says so, anyway.

[davelin]

Very amusing. You definitely handled it much better than I would've. I'm sure Prima will know what to do with his e-mail [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[on_thg]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't call with a suited connector out of position when it's 2 raises back to you . . .

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right, I should have raised all in immediately. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Just for kicks, I checked on the pre-flop odds. AA was about 66%, 10-9 sooted about 21% and KK 13%.

Conclusion: T9s DOMINATES KK.

j/k. really.

[Subby]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Don't call with a suited connector out of position when it's 2 raises back to you . . .

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right, I should have raised all in immediately. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Just for kicks, I checked on the pre-flop odds. AA was about 66%, 10-9 sooted about 21% and KK 13%.

Conclusion: T9s DOMINATES KK.

j/k. really.

[/ QUOTE ]

Heh. You are my new hero. The little chat with your table coach was gold, baby! GOLD!

When someone tells you how many BB they are up and carries it to the second decimal, you know that they haven't gotten laid in at least 3 years. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[CORed]

I really like how he was sure you were cheating based on a sample size of one.
Going all-in with 10-9 was pretty dumb. If you make a habit of plays like that, you will lose a lot of money.