My life in shambles (not poker related)

[kyro]

This is a sob story. This is a chance for me to get everything out to a bunch of anonymous poker players. This probably belongs in the OOT forums, but this has as much to do with psychology as anything.

I'm a junior at Penn State University. I made the decision tonight to withdraw from the semester, and to reapply for next semester. When I went home for break, I hinted to my parents that I wasn't getting very good grades. Though upset, she basically told me that I would be paying my tuition from here on out. As I'm out of state, that's about $30K per year.

What I didn't tell her is that I would be most likely failing a class or two, and it was too late to withdraw from them. If I had to guess, I'd say I had 2 F's and 4 C's coming my way. I've had 2 C's in my entire lifetime, and this is what I'm expecting. I'm not sure what happened.

I lost all my will to work this semester. I love my major, but hated the classes I had to take for them. (I'm an actuarial science major. I had to take several business for dummies classes.) The worst part is, one of my Fs is in Insurance, which is based on my major. It's not that it's above me, or that I didn't enjoy it. I just didn't have it in me this semester to do ANYTHING. I basically pissed away $15K to have a good time.

I want to get my life back on track. I want to come back next semester, with the same classes, and ace them. I want to be able to study, and not worry that 2 hours isn't enough time to cram. I want to be able to look towards my future and know that I'll have a job lined up, instead of wondering if some random company will hire Joe Schmo with a 2.0 GPA. Currently, I have a 3.44 GPA. I'm an incredibly, intelligent person. Intelligence only gets you so far though. There's no reason for me not to do well in school, not to have a job/internship lined up for me when I graduate. But, here I am, writing about how I tried to ruin my life.

I'm not sure what I want from this post. I don't really expect any replies. I'll probably get more flames if anything. I needed to express myself though. Hell, if anything, now I know what I can say to my mother tomorrow when she ask "What the [censored] do you mean you're withdrawing."

Thanks for reading. If you feel like replying at all, feel free. My feelings won't be hurt at all by anything you have to say. Even if it's "No one gives a *bleep*"

[Loci]

Well, I guess I'm not sure how to answer this question... I am a psychology grad student, and I get the impression that you're looking more to get it all out than anything, but it's pretty obvious that you're looking for someone to talk to also. If you need a faceless ear to just bounce things off for an hour, PM me and we'll work something out.
-If you are just looking to vent, that's fine. I know that you'll get twenty "it's not the end of the worlds" and a baker's dozen "you're overreacting"/"you're still doing fines" but it doesn't really feel that way to you right now, and that's all that matters at the moment.
-A final note, don't play this game to try and release. You're in no state to, and the best cards in the world isn't going to make you any money. Take a break and live vicariously through these other players.
Wishing you the best,
Eric

[jdl22]

It's not so catastrophic as it sounds. If you are able to learn from this and fix the problem you will be better off because of it. I would assume you can get pretty good financial aid to cover your schooling. If you are planning on becoming an actuary that isn't so bad because it's a very well paying job.

I have had similar problems studying. I'm an economics phd student at Pitt. Last semester I failed a course and I also failed one of my comprehensive exams. Looking back I failed them because I put basically no effort in whatsoever. While others studied probably anywhere from 30-100 hours of studying for the comps I put in probably about 5-10, most of which was the night before each. It's a tough habit to break and to be honest it's not something I have fully mastered. I guess I don't have much advice for that other than to say there are others in the same boat.

Also, for a bit as an undergrad I planned on becoming an actuary. Apparently the job market is absolutely incredible and if you pass your actuarial exams you're golden. If you are taking time off try studying for those. If you can pass the first two (math and economics in case the exam system has changed again) then your job prospects will be much better and you shouldn't have much of a problem finding a job.

[mojo]

I'm a psychology grad student as well and I think most people can relate to difficulties with motivation and school or work. Not wanting to diagnose over the internet, but it might be helpful to talk to someone at your student counseling center at Penn. It's likely free if you're a student, they might offer some vocational testing etc. Lack of motivation is a classic sign of depression (not saying you're depressed, don't have enough info obviously) so talking to a professional (or at least a grad student 8) might help. Hang in there and make sure that you lean on the people you're close to for support.

[Bodhi]

Hehe, consider yourself lucky if they want to hire joe schmo with a 3.9gpa! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] Despite what your parents and university faculty tell you, getting a job is still about who you know and not what you know. If had my last year of college to do over again, I would focus a lot more on making contacts in the "outside world" and preparing a kick-ass resume.

Of course it's also a good idea to study and try harder, you owe it to yourself. Ultimately, however, this episode doesn't really matter and you'll forget about it in a couple years. Chear up. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[ricdaman]

My brother experienced the same thing you are currently experiencing. He flunked out of college because he spent his whole time partying and playing poker instead of going to class and studying. The university told him he would have to go to community college and get his grades back up before they would readmit him. On top of that, my parents told him that they would not pay for his college unless he was making good grades.

This sounds like the exact same boat you are in. My thought on it is that some people just aren't ready for college. You need time to enjoy life as a single young kid. I have a lot of friends and relatives who didn't go to college until they were in their late 20s because they weren't ready. My advice is to not go back until you are ready to study and be serious. Until then, party and have fun and enjoy life.

Now, my brother decided to go back home to his parents and get a job. He payed his way through 2 semesters of community college and got straight A's. Clearly he wasn't stupid, he just wasn't ready for college before. He just returned to his regular, out of state university this semester, and from what I hear, he's not expecting one C this semester. He's ready to take college seriously now. You need to wait until you are ready to do the same before you go back too.

[scott1]

1. My advice is to not go back until you are ready to study and be serious.

This was the first thought that came to my mind. Great advice. Take a semester off, at least. Starting the same classes again in the spring is probably a really bad idea. Take some time to think. What if the same thing happens next semester? Move in another direction that interests you for a while. Go back to school at some point. You gotta get a degree, but don't sabotage the work you have put in so far with another semester in which you aren't ready to work.

2. Paying your own way might help you focus in school. Now the financial burden is on you. That's good incentive to reach your degree and start paying off your debts.

3. Don't let failing a couple classes bring you down. I was never a very good student in college, but got good grades my 3rd and 4th years to get my GPA up above 2.5. I'm a smart guy, but scholl has never kept my interest. Once I graduated, it was harder for me to find a job than my friends with great grades but once I did I excelled. A paycheck every 2 weeks and having other people depend on the work that I do are incentives that make me work hard.

Failing a semester in school doesn't mean you won't find great success in life.

[tolbiny]

Kyro,
I wanted to echo what a couple of others have said. It might not be best for you to go back next semester. You may have the tendancy to panic a little, think you are behind and need to catch up, especially as time seems to really fly by during these years of your life. My advice to you would be not to rush going back to school. If you honestly want to return, get your degree and graduate, then do it. But if you feel like you Have to go back and you Have to do it soon i would advise taking a semester off. Get a job and take a community college course and learn spanish, or something both basic and helpfull. Getting back into good habits of studying and working will help immensely in your mental preparation.

[Caballa]

Cheer up Holden.

[BruinEric]

Some quick thoughts based on a quick reading of your post. Take it all with a grain of salt. All comments meant to help you.

1) Get yourself a job ASAP to earn a few bucks and to learn a bit while out there. Working 40 hrs a week at a short-term job will provide motivation alone for getting your degree.

2) Strongly consider transferring to another school that costs less now that you're paying on your own dime.

3) Don't even think about not getting your degree. Even if you think you can do fine without one, you are pot-committed now with 2 years in. You don't need a degree to be succesful, but you have more outs if you do have one.