60k in 60 Days: Season 2 - Days 57-60 and conclusion

[gonores]

I’m only going to touch slightly on the whole suicide note thing. It turns out many of this girl’s close friends had no clue where her reference to me in her note came from. I spoke with this girl’s friends at length about her long-term outlook, and I told them that if there was anything I could do to help that they should contact me (although there are many issues she needs to work out before she gets to me). She is getting the help she needs, and a happy ending is 4:1 favorite to come out on top. I do want to thank everyone for their kind words and great advice from the last thread…it’s helped me as I’ve spent a lot of time thinking since this whole thing started…I’ve spent at least an hour or so every day this week just staring at the ceiling and contemplating all things spiritual, but I’m still not sure what to make out of this whole ordeal. What I can tell you is that the insecurity you saw out of me when we last pow-wow-ed is pretty much out of my system. I no longer have to look myself in the mirror in the morning and remind myself that I am a pimp…it comes naturally again [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

No offense, but soon after I posted my last journal, I somewhat regretted getting in to so much detail about what was going through my head and how I wanted to handle the whole situation. It was hard for me to reconcile the two voices in brain. On one hand, my brain was telling me that the people who read this are nothing but random strangers and that my time and efforts should have been spent with my “real” friends and people who know me outside of poker. I felt uncomfortable getting that close with “Internet people”…it felt pretty nerdy and anti-social. On the other side (the side that sounded like my logical side), my brain told me that 2+2 is made up of a lot of people who are nothing more than slightly-modified versions of gonores spread out among the English-speaking parts of the world, and as they are objective outsiders to a unique situation, I was sure to hear a few things I needed to hear.

But enough about that….

I’m not going to offer a blow-by-blow recap of my last four days of action. There is no chance I can remember details after Halloween weekend in Madison.

On Tuesday I didn’t play a single hand. This was just one day after I went through this suicide ordeal, and quite frankly, I didn’t think I had it in me to checkraise those MFers when they needed to get spanked, I didn’t think I could find appropriate times to bluff, and I didn’t want to put up with table coaches and other players who don’t have their heads screwed on straight. So I stared at the ceiling for a while. Man, I’m glad I wasn’t close to my goal, because I think I would have talked myself into playing.

By the time Thursday night came around, I hit a number of significance. IF (big “if”) you count my rake-rebate, I easily eclipsed the $50000 mark (I don’t have exact rake rebate numbers yet). I figure that’s the number I’m going to use when I brag about what I’ve done over the past two months. Since I didn’t feel like falling backwards on Day 60, and since it was the start of Halloween weekend, I gave myself the day off on Friday.

Everything else up to this moment is a blur. I don’t think it’s very bright to “brag” about how much I drank over this weekend…suffice to say it was enough to keep me from being able to form coherent stories for this journal. A few things I do remember from the weekend:

- If you are a girl, this weekend produced an infallible test to tell whether or not you are hot. If you were dressed as Beatrix Kiddo in the yellow racing jacket, you are hot. If you did not dress as Kiddo, you are not hot, unless you are Asian, in which case you had to dress as Gogo to be considered as “hot.”
- Dressing as Rich Uncle Pennybags (The Monopoly Guy) is only hilarious when your pockets are full of Monopoly money that you can throw around as you walk. It is also awesome to be able to light up a $100 bill to light a girl’s cigarette.
- If you run out of Monopoly money, you are only a feather in your hat and a pair of gaudy sunglasses away from being a pimp. My back hurts from pimp-strutting all night.
- My buddy spent 35 man-hours building an Optimus Prime costume for this weekend. It was worth every second.
- Pepper spray still hurts, even when you are only getting a second-hand dose.
- Green Bay won on Sunday, and I didn’t lose money playing poker. It was the best Sunday I’ve had in a while.

All the rest of my stories are going to either offend the “don’t treat women as objects” crowd or the “politics aren’t funny” crowd. Besides, I had to learn something from this 60k experience, didn’t I?

THE CONCLUSION

When I do the autopsy on my challenge, I think it’s pretty obvious what went wrong. I ran too hot for too long at the beginning, and I was starting to buy into the idea that I was a better player than I really was. Couple this feeling of invincibility with a very strong desire to cut down on my hands per day and you get a recipe for failure. Starting on August 14th (~two weeks before the challenge) I played 55000 hands at 10/20 6max at 4BB/100 hands. Once you tack on the tail end of my challenge, I have 100k hands of 10/20 6max hands at just slightly above 3BB/100. I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but this really ought to give an idea of just how long the long term is in determining win rates. Once I convinced myself I didn’t need to play more than 2000 hands per day, I was doomed.

A secondary killer of my challenge had to do with another thing I mentioned a few times in my journal, namely that I got sloppy. I’m not going to trot out the evidence out of pure embarrassment, but at times it wasn’t pretty.

So, um, yeah…I suck more at poker than I used to, so I’m taking a good, long break to recharge my batteries. I have a lot of reading to catch up on, and I think I might pick up my roommate’s guitar to attempt yet again to find one iota of artistic ability in my body. My advice to anyone who wants to start a challenge like this: Either schedule in some days off or just don’t do the challenge altogether. When you spread yourself as thin as I did over the past month, you start playing suboptimally, which is only going to further frustrate you, which makes you play when you’re in an even more sub-optimal mood, which means you play worse…downward spiral, anger, maniacal raising, etc. It sucks. I’m not sure what I’d do if someone wanted me to take the challenge over again, but I would definitely approach things differently if I were to accept.

Since I’m on my soap box….let’s talk about being prepared. Considering the fact that I’ve been a pro for a whole 5 months now, I guess I’m not best guy to be preaching to anyone, but if I have learned anything about being a pro by now it is that you really need to have yourself a backup plan for when the [censored] hits the fan. I am a HUGE advocate of maintaining a bloated bankroll, for the simple fact that the rug can be pulled out from underneath us internet players almost literally overnight. If you plan on being a pro for anything more than a year from right now, I would recommend keeping at least a 700BB bankroll and a year’s worth of living expenses before you even consider making big purchases. Also, be mentally prepared to hightail it out of town and into a poker town like LV or LA if you want to continue being a pro, because the internet is one NYT piece on online bots or one piece of legislation away being done. This isn’t exactly earth-shattering stuff, but it is something about which I feel very strongly.

So the next big question for me is what I want to do with my life as a professional poker player. Looking back at the conclusion of Schneids’ journals, I must say I feel a little bit better about staying pro than he was about turning pro…and I can pinpoint exactly why. Back at the beginning of this challenge, I cited my innate fear of failure as a big reason why I felt I could succeed. I’m not proud of the fact that I’m afraid of failing, and I’m not ashamed of it either..it’s just a part of who I am. But what really feels good is knowing I have no one to blame for my results but myself. It doesn’t feel *fantastic* to blame myself for “failing,” but the other side of the meritocracy that is poker is just too damn appealing for me to consider getting a real job. There really is no feeling I’ve had that compares to the feeling I get when I look at where I am at in life and think to myself “there is no other explanation for why I have this other than that I earned it.” I didn’t get lucky, I didn’t politik my way up the corporate ladder…I just busted my ass and got paid for it. It’s the same reason why I’m certain that I am going in to business for myself once I am done with poker.

I wish I could end this with some poetic, beautifully-worded, quotable statement, but I can’t. Instead, I’ll just say thank you to everyone who has posted and PMed me. You’ve kept me on task, lightened my days, and *sniffle* made me *blink* *blink* believe in myself. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Total through Day 60: $46404.42 (but I’m still saying $50k :P )

[Ponks]

Just curious how many hands did you play out've the number you said you were going to play? Also, great post, I really enjoyed reading them all! I'm just starting my venture into the 6 max world and I must say it is pretty fun!

Thanks
Ponks

[gonores]

Because my "hand-scoring" system was so convoluted, it was kinda hard to keep track. I did play between 90k-100k hands according to PT with a little fudge for hands I'm sure I missed.

[Evan]

Gonores, great post, great journal. I don't have much to say, just wanted to congratulate you on not going crazy after playing the amount of poker you have in the last 2 months. Hopefully you'll get a chance to take those trips you talked about and relax for a bit.

So who's up next for trying to kill this 60K in 60 days beast?

[C LO]

I hope I speak for a good portion of the readers when I say your postings we be missed.

I'd like to see you try it again one day.

[theBruiser500]

"So who's up next for trying to kill this 60K in 60 days beast?"

What's the idea, both schneids and gnores tried and couldn't do it? I am moving from limit to NL and depending on what happens with college and my plans for the future I might take up a challenge like this. It would be really nice to put like 500k into the bank over the next couple years.

[MEbenhoe]

Doug,

Congratulations on the journey you've taken over the past two months. While you did fall slighty short, you've made more money over the past 60 days than many households in this country make in an entire year, not something I'd call a failure in any way. Also, I loved the line in this final journal that talks about how where you are in life is due totally to the fact that you earned it. There are very few things in life in which you can say this. This is part of the reason I love this game, and part of the reason I enjoy competing in track as that is also such a purely individual pursuit.

I have to add that it was a great pleasure that I got to meet you during this quest. You have a unique personality and way of thinking that is probably a big part of why you've been such a success so far in your life. We'll definitely have to meet up again sometime.

Well I'll miss your journals, they've been a great read. Congratulations again and I wish you continued success at the poker table and in life.

[bicyclekick]

I need to make 30k in 60 days to reach my goal. With running regular I can do it. Lets just hope it's not another october like month.

Enjoy the poker break. I'm sure the 10/20 6m players are pissed a fish isn't gonna be playin for awhile...

[nolanfan34]

Congrats on finishing the challenge. You're a winner in my book, since you still seem to be sane after going through 60 days of that.

You need to post a pic of the Optimus Prime costume, that sounds awesome.

And now that the challenge is over, you might still have time to redeem yourself in the 2+2 fantasy football league. This week was a nice start. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Sponger15SB]

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Total through Day 60: $46404.42 (but I’m still saying $50k :P )

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well at least you beat schneids! [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

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Grand Total: $31,366.08/$60,000, in approximately 235.6 hours of logged playing hours

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I think I speak for all of us in saying that we really enjoyed reading your posts in bad and good times and that we will miss reading updates.

Serious question to everyone: Who is going to do season #3?