The MRS asked me if I was getting hooked on Poker.

[steamboatin]

I play online a little, I play B&M tuesday and Friday nights when my schedule permits and I read and post here all the time.

I told Her a compulsive gambler doesn't fold every hand except the blinds for two hours waiting for a starting hand and a compulsive gambler doesn't read, study and practice to improve his game.

I played at Caesar's In Friday night and left a good game (up $133 playing 4-8) at 6:30 pm, to meet her and her sister's family for dinner. I don't think a compulsive gambler would ever do that.

I must have been playing well because the gentleman next to me asked if I played Poker for fun or for money, I answered,"I play Poker for fun, but it was a lot more fum when you win!"

[JTG51]

It doesn't sound like she's the one you're trying to convince.

[Kopefire]

Either that you there's some deeper relationship/financial issues here.

If you have your "own" fun money in your household budget, and you are not gambling with funds that should be going to something else (or that she thinks should be going to something else) then it doesn't sound like you have issues.

Go to the Gambler's Anonymous web-site. Take the quiz. Be honest. If you come up with having a problem, seriously consider the possiblity. If you don't have a problem, seriously consider why you and your wife are having the disagreement over your hobby.

[Michael Davis]

Since you are a compulsive gambler, you did the right think by learning to play poker well.

-Michael

[mike l.]

"Since you are a compulsive gambler, you did the right think by learning to play poker well."

if you knew how many times ive told myself and my wife this youd laugh.

now if only it were true that'd be awesome.

[Blarg]

Some women are just jealous of anything that gets their man's attention. They may not like his hobbies, his friends, anything that detracts from their perception or fantasy that not enough attention is being paid to them.

Not all women, and maybe not yours either. But there's a little jealousy in all of us at what distracts the attention of our significant other.

Perception is everything. If you spend fewer hours playing poker it might not help at all, but if you spend the same amount of hours playing poker while making sure that during the hours you do not play poker she feels perfectly content and loved and not ignored, she may not mind what you spend an awful lot of free time on.

I would guess a lot would depend on the quality of your relationship and whether she feels you are playing to escape her or find it a relief not to be around her.

Again, just a couple of thoughts thrown out. I don't know your real situation or anything about your relationship, but have seen similar-sounding situations before in relationships. The argument may seem to be about poker, or tennis, or bowling, or whatever, but it's really about "the relationship."

It can work both ways too. Sometimes the person with the hobby or outside interest really is trying to escape, and their partner is correct in intuiting that.

Or maybe they just don't like being alone, for whatever reason, no matter how good or bad the relationship. Simple raw time spent together is very important for lots of people -- for them "quality time" may be nice, but not sufficient.

Hopefully whatever happens, you can tell, and communicate to your partner, the difference between obsession and addiction.

[steamboatin]

I doesn't really matter what I spend my time on, she doesn't like it. We have only been married a little more than two years and she has hated every hobby or any toy that isn't her idea.

I had a little scooter when we were dating, she hated it, I bought a WWII lifeboat and was fixing it up to be a steam powered boat, (hence the screen name) she really hated the boat. I had a junky little car with a diesel engine and she hated it also.

This is the first time she has said much about poker and it was just a simple question. I am only supposed to like things that are her idea.

I sometimes wonder if I learned to play poker because I knew she would hate it also.

Regardless, I love the game and plan to continue to play and improve.

I never go play poker for emotional escape, I never play with money I can't afford to lose, I do sometimes blow off work to play poker, but I am self-employed and work will eat your entire life if you let it.

[Michael Davis]

"I doesn't really matter what I spend my time on, she doesn't like it. We have only been married a little more than two years and she has hated every hobby or any toy that isn't her idea."

This is a real problem and goes beyond playing poker, obviously. I am no marriage counselor, but I would recommend you have a serious talk with your wife ASAP. You must set out your own space and interests, and if she doesn't accept this, things usually go sour.

-Michael

[steamboatin]

We've been there and it is much better than it was. Marraige couseling is the best thing since sliced bread

[toots]

Yeahm, marriage counseling is a great thing. I know, I've been there, both as a consumer and the counselor.

Although, when I've been sitting there as the counselor, two things tend to run through my mind:

1) Wouldn't it be a lot easier just to break up and give up on these silly schoolgirl ideas of love and relationships?

2) Maybe I should help these two stay together, so they won't go on and make two other people miserable.

That probably explains why I didn't pursue that career any further.

Still, I'm always humored by all the trouble people go to, just to get married, followed by all the whining and moaning about how awful it is to be married.