Poker and parents

[TimM]

Instant messenger convo with Mom. I've seen stories like this before but they were usually from much younger players. Note that I'll be 38 soon and haven't lived with her in a long time. I guess this was brought on by the fact that she wanted to invite me over on my birthday and instead I am using it as an excuse to get out of work and head up to Foxwoods for a 4-day weekend. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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Mom: Tim, something has been on my mind. Are you doing ok with the gambling. Do I need to worry about you?
Me: no
Mom: Don't be a smart ass. You know what I mean. Is it a problem. [Your step-father] said that if you were losing you would just stop.
Me: i've won so much so far i can't see losing
(I didn't mention this, but I'd have to lose my current 300+BB bankroll 3 times over, or the deposit i built it from 25 times over, to wind up in the red)
Mom: Ok well just be careful because thats when you are vulnerable. When you think you can't lose.
Me: well, i don't know what i could say if anything to make you more comfortable, you'll just have to trust that i know what i'm doing
Mom: I do but since I had not talked to you about it, I did not know where you were at.

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Anyway, I didn't even bother to try to explain, because I know it's impossible. Anything you say just sounds like the same rubbish real compulsive gamblers say. Or if you try to show winning stats it just looks like you've been on a lucky run for a while to someone who doesn't understand the math.

[scotnt73]

im 31 and was raised by my grandmother. about a year ago while visiting her at christmas with my wife and kids i bragged a little to her when we were alone about how i was making more playing poker 20 hours a week than i was at my job working 40 hours a week and that i was saving up a nice bankroll so i could quit my job in 7 years when my youngest daughter graduates from high schooll(ill be 38). she freaked out and started telling me how lucky i was to have such a great computer job and i was going to lose it all like my grandfather used to do husling pool.

needles to say i now tell her i gave up poker. why worry them? just dont mention it. i used to tell my wife how much i won or lost every night when i came to bed. why does she need to ride the rollercoaster with me? i dont talk to her about it anymore either. if she knew how much i won/lost in session nowdays shed freak out.

[Sponger15SB]

I've worked at the San Diego County Fair for 6 years, and my boss is this sweet little Austrailian lady who is practically like a 2nd mother to me.

I told her i'd been playing poker a lot and she like flipped out at mw for 10 minutes and told me I was smart and shouldn't be playing poker at all because I was going to lose all my money. All of it. She told me that I can't win playing poker, and that whatever money I've won was because of luck, and I was certain to lose it all. Her dad lost most of his money when they were younger, and she has a family friend who is in jail because of his gambling debts.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
going to lose it all like my grandfather used to do husling pool.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess compulsive gambling is common enough that almost everyone will have some family member or friend with this problem, to varying degrees. One of my relatives was a compulsive gambler many years ago, and has been involved with local GA chapters after his recovery. I think I will keep quiet about poker around him.

[itsmarty]

I mentioned I was playing poker to my parents, and they didn't say anything but revealed several months later that it had given my father several nightmares. He grew up with a father that gambled a ton, and the family suffered for it.

The fact is, people think poker is just like dice or horses, and for a lot of people it really is. That makes any protestations sound quite hollow. Add to that, no matter your age, your parents still see you as a little squirt. Having kids now, I can totally understand it.

At least they care, right? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[GrannyMae]

click here , this is one of my favorite threads on this subject. it is from 1999 and has over a hundred replies. responders include some of the biggest name in poker. send it to mom.

here is the top post<font color="green">

From: Scottro (scotth@harkerinc.com)
Subject: Is Poker Gambling?


View this article only
Newsgroups: rec.gambling.poker
Date: 1999/09/03



A few days ago I had lunch with my mother. She's always had a propensity to
think my life is dismal (when in fact, it's pretty good), and the discussion
we had that day was no different. We had been talking about taking risks
(in areas other than poker), and she decided to tell me that she was worried
about my gambling. She was talking about poker, as she knows I don't play
house games.

The funny thing is, I live in Ohio. No legal cardrooms or casinos within a
5 hour radius. Closest is Soaring Eagle, the Detroit casinos, Chicago, AC
and maybe Canada. I've never been to any of them. I play cards in a home
game once a week and take 4-5 trips a year to Las Vegas. So, my "gambling"
is hardly worth mentioning.

She says I'm obsessed with it. I've told her that all of my non-family
leisure time is spent reading poker books, magazines, rgp and of course,
practice with the Wilson software. Aside from work and family, it is my
life. This troubles her.

What troubles me about the situation is her use of the word "gambling".
I've always thought of poker, as Mike in Rounders said, as "getting your
money in there when you have the best of it, and protecting it when you
don't". This, to me, is certainly not a gamble (if it is followed
properly). Of course you have winning and losing sessions, but I think most
of us understand how numbers work. It's all one long game.

The Oxford American Dictionary defines gambling as "to play games of chance
for money". So, at the level that most rgp'rs have achieved through study,
discussion and practice, is this still a "game of chance"? I would say no,
since we are most likely have the best of it in most casino/cardroom poker
games since these games are, more often than not, filled with tourists, fish
etc. One might think this would change substantially as the limits
increased, but as one poster put it recently, "the top pros play where there
are no top pros". For a lot of us here on this newsgroup, I don't consider
poker a game of chance.

For most "regular" people, I would call poker gambling. These tourist types
or casual players have not studied the game, and really have no idea of
things like starting hands, pot odds or semi-bluffs. They never go into a
game having the best of it, and winning or losing is just a matter of cards
to them. This is a gamble. It is a negative EV situation every time for
them.

So perhaps this is what people mean when they call poker "gambling". To
them, it is still a game mostly based upon "the luck of the draw", where
playing a hand properly isn't even a consideration. They can't fathom the
depths that many of us go to in our quest to become expert players.

Still, the word gambling has sort of a sting for me. The word seems to
cheapen the activity that some of us dedicate our lives to. I don't like
the word. It has caused me problems because of my loved ones' lack of
perception and understanding of poker. I don't gamble. I play poker.

All thoughts are appreciated.

Aces,
Scottro
</font>

[Steph Djordjevic]

Mine went like this:

Mom: Steph, (Drunken Step) Dad and I are really concerned you are not making all the right moves to get that scholarship you've been talking about. In fact, Coach Nickerson told me he kicked you off the team for throwing trash on his lawn after the Big Walnut Heights meltdown.

Me: So?

Mom: Well, I heard your grades are suffering and that you've been playing internet poker? (Drunken Step) Dad says he's going to whip your ass.

Me: It's not so bad, Mom. Recently, I've become a Pyramid Poker Third Member, and now I can afford that '71 Camaro we've been talking about.

Mom: But its still gambling Steph. And I know you, you get too cocky when you do well. Just like in the Walnut Heights game, you blew your coverage because "Nobody can take (you) man on man (even though you are 5'4"). Next thing you know, you will be spamming poker forums challenging people to heads-up competition. And I must warn you, ... its DANGEROUS.

Me: I am a little guy, with a big heart. I know I can make all the right moves and become Poker champ. I even got invited to join some guy and his "Crew."

Mom: Oh, Russ Boyd? He's soooooo cute. And he finished law school at age 14! That was a shame, because he can't get drunk like all the other lawyers out there.

Me: No, Russ Georgiev. He's starting an Omaha/8 crew down at Hawiaan Gardens.

Mom: Hawaii? Oh, that will be so fun. Sandy beaches, plenty of sun, pretty women. We're so proud of you Joel, that sounds much better than Princeton!

Me: Joel?

Mom: Oh, sorry. Wrong movie.

Me: Anyway. We are starting a crew to clean up at the 2/4 tables. Russ has been teaching all of us. One thing I have down pat is to turn my hand over and yell "Nut" "Nut" everytime I miss my draw, then throw my cards at the dealer.

And, no, its not Hawaii, its Hawaiian Gardens - home of the 95-cent fruit cup.

Mom: Well, it sounds like you are on your way.

Me: I am. By the way, I didn't get my allowance from last week, did you forget to mail the check?

[Sponger15SB]

I did not find this funny at all.

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
I did not find this funny at all.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought it was ok. By the way, aren't you the guy who posted about the size of your turd?

Sponger's Turd Post

[Koller]

The fact is, people think poker is just like dice or horses

[img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

Horses= +EV

Craps= -EV

Do you see why?