How Can I Join "The Crew"

RPatterson · #1 07-22-2004, 11:15 PM

I'm a 21 year old jerk with an inflated sense of how good I am at poker. I'd like to get down with the crew. Where are they located at?

Vehn · #2 07-22-2004, 11:18 PM

Do you still have your front teeth?

RPatterson · #3 07-22-2004, 11:24 PM

Yeah, don't most of them? Are you saying they have had their teeth punched out? Or they are drug addicts and their teeth fall out? Maybe they eat alot of sweets and don't brush? The crew isn't down with what your saying man. The crew is wondering what's going on.

ThaSaltCracka · #4 07-23-2004, 12:34 AM

no, if you still have your front teeth, you won't be able to suck dick like they do.

RPatterson · #5 07-23-2004, 02:41 AM

Are you kidding me? Everyone knows the crew scores women like crazy! In fact, there are girls that are "friends of the crew" if you know what I mean.

JalKelly · #6 07-23-2004, 10:02 AM

that is really really funny stuff. I am crying

jagoff · #7 07-23-2004, 11:51 AM

From the "official" THE CREW Website:

To join the crew you MUST meet the following criteria...
1. Have a gaping crap hole that looks like it was wrecked with a crow bar.
2. Must have an immense knowledge of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons
3. Must be gay.
4. On circle jerk night, you must be well versed in both left and right handed jerking as well as have a taste for "oogie cookie".
5. Must suck at reading opposing poker players
6. Teeth are optional. False teeth are optimal for teeth out knob jobs.

cassise · #8 07-23-2004, 12:18 PM

Jagoff you forgot to scroll down on the official website, if you did you would have seen:
7. Must be willing to jerk off a fellow crew member during a tournament.
8. Must be concinved that you are far better than you are.
9. Must be able to convince ESPN that being able to do basic chip tricks makes you the coolest person in the world and a good poker player.
10. Must not be opposed to spending your time with somebody who stole\squandered the money of many online poker players.

jedi · #9 07-23-2004, 12:59 PM

You've also got to cheer really loudly and obnoxiously every time you're hopelessly behind and manage to catch the miracle 2 outer on the river to win. This tends to work better A) the further it is from the end of the tournament and B) the greater the celebration. See Mark Madsen's dancing moves during the Lakers championship run of the early 2000s.

jwvdcw · #10 07-23-2004, 01:14 PM

Very funny thread, but lol at those who think they aren't good poker players...what did they win THREE braclets this year just by luck?