Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...

[fluff]

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"There are no good poker books out there...all of them tell you to do something different". "Books are a waste of money". "Just play suited cards and any pairs and you'll do fine".

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I hope you upped your tip for this dealer.

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I thought about mentioning S&M but I didn't.

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Now mentioning S&M would definitely be up there as one of the "stupidest statements".

[Beavis68]

One guy said he always plays suited cards because you will hit a flush 1/3rd the time, when I agreed with him that this was good thinking, someone else started to argue, but I shut him up.

Another guy berated me for going all in with a flush draw and a small pair and making him fold his pocket 9s, he would not believe that we are pretty much even for odds of winning with two cards to come.

[MicroBob]

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I thought about mentioning S&M


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You fail, and it sounds like most of the table passed. =]

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Agreed.
Why would you think of mentioning S&M?

1. You're not going to win the argument anyway.
They'll just think you're a guy 'that actually reads poker-books' and will be a little more cautious of you (or maybe not)
2. You'll be educating them on what to do in order to play better (even though they probably won't listen)


If someone mentions S&M or TOP or HEFAP or SSHE and you feel inclined to parttake in the conversation just say, "those bozos take the game way too seriously. and they don't understand what REAL games are like. REAL poker is completely different from a bunch of nonsense theory. They don't even talk about bluffing your opponents out and out-smarting the other players. All they do is talk about a bunch of math."

Then you can add (if you like) "i did page through Phil Hellmuth's book once. It's pretty straight-forward advice that is much easier to understand and will actually win you more money than all that complicated theoretical stuff."

[coffeecrazy1]

Even though I began this thread, I gotta weigh in with this piece of gold from this weekend.

Playing 4/8/12 HE, pretty loose, low-limit game. Guy who typically throws a party drags down about a $200 pot with 72o.

Yes...it would seem that he played 72o and went runner runner to hit quad deuces and beat about three other full houses, including one that was made before the river. He had called all the way through three and four bets on flop and turn, not to mention(as I recall), some preflop raises.

When asked about it(many times, including by me), his only response was "I was on the button."

[Dov]

"Diamonds are the easiest flush to make."

I sometimes use this myself just to throw people off. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Cerril]

After folding 88 to four bets cold on a flop consisting of three overs (and after the turn and river showed 8, 8).

"You should have stayed in, you had pot odds!"

Next hand in the SB after raising, the same coach

"He must be on tilt after that last hand, you shouldn't ever raise from the blinds except with group 1 hands" (actual quote)

[Kripke]

A couple of months back at Commerce, guy to my right is playing the role of table captain and giving all us insights into how to play poker. He's been taking down some pretty big pots and is obviously feeling very good about himself:

Table Captain: "Dude, you know, before all those poker shows on TV i didn't even care about pot odds and all that stuff. But this past year I've really been practising knowing all the math and stuff"

[5 minutes later]

Table Captain: "Dude, you just made a gutshot straight - you know what the odds are of making that?!? It's 50 to 1!"

Gotta love that.

[JMP300z]

"I always chop in the BB with AA because you KNOW that they will hit their two pair and take youre stack every time you complete."

me-"Are you sure? I thought AA was a favorite"
him-"no itll happen more often than not"

Other favorites:
"JTs is the best hand, we ran it 30 times against aces the other day and it won over twenty."

"I had to call 50 dollars (2-1 PO) on that gutshot because someone did it to me earlier and got it."

"I called the 50 (again 2-1 POs) on the turn because he had so little left and im 10-1 to fill up" (guy with set when the board is 4 to a straight). Funny enough he folded to the small river bet.

After board is TJQJK 3 diamonds and guy with Axd (made nut flush on turn) bets pot on turn, 1/3 pot (not bad relation to stacks) on river and gets reraised all in ad folds...Table mentor says "Thats why I dont bet marginal hands on the river." and the guy "Yah am an idiot, why did i bet there" and me and my friend "the nut flush is almost never a marginal hand" And the mentor "are you kidding?"

[pzhon]

It used to bother me when people would call a raise with 52s and hit. No longer! This is my new tactic:

PokerRoom hand #439,094,350
10+1 NL Rebuy Multi Table Tournament, 13 Nov 2004 09:39 PM

Seat 1: ($540 in chips)
Seat 2: ($4,564 in chips)
Seat 3: ($1,792 in chips)
Seat 5: SB ($4,319 in chips)
Seat 6: BB ($1,500 in chips)
Seat 7: Villain UTG ($1,785 in chips)
Seat 8: ($2,225 in chips)
Seat 9: Hero K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] ($6,785 in chips)
Seat 10: ($4,275 in chips)

SB posts blind ($50), BB posts blind ($100).

PRE-FLOP
Villain calls $100, 1 fold, Hero raises to $450, 6 folds, Villain calls $350.

FLOP (1050): 5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 9[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]
Villain checks, Hero bets $1,625, Villain calls $1,335 and is all-in.

Hero shows K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]
Villain shows 5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

TURN (3720) A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

RIVER (3720) K[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

Hero wins $3,720. Villain rebuys.

http://twodimes.net/h/?z=612401
Board: 5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 9[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]
cards EV
A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 0.092
5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 0.908

[27offsuit]

[ QUOTE ]
"I had to stay in with it, them 2's have been coming up all night" Some guy who called a pre flop raise with 52 because earlier in the night the flop came up K22 and on another occasion the turn paired two's J282 or whatever. [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

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You sure it wasn't "them thar 2's"? lol