Poker and parents

[Blarg]

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i used to tell my wife how much i won or lost every night when i came to bed. why does she need to ride the rollercoaster with me?

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scotnt73, I admire this way of thinking. It echoes one of the best lessons my father ever gave me.

One time he was reaching into a coral outcropping to see if he could help me get out a beautiful cowrie shell that my little kid arm was too short to get at. Turns out it was the lair of a huge moray eel that had been hiding in the back out of sight. It darted out and bit him hard right in the pad of his thumb and toward his wrist, putting a few big holes right through his hand. There was a lot of blood.

We were both startled as hell and swam to the surface. I felt like it was my fault and was still wide-eyed and startled and kinda panicky. I knew my dad's hand must hurt like hell. Those were big holes and there was so much blood. He had no expression. "Let's swim over a little further from where we went in so your mom doesn't see," he told me. "We'll walk toward the snack bar and take care of it over there."

My mom has an eerie sixth sense for trouble, like most moms do, and I looked back at the beach to see her checking us out. I wondered if she was looking at us funny or just looking at us. My dad was totally cool and calm, and as we were getting out of the water, told me to ask my mother if she wanted a coke to distract her, while he walked on before she could talk to him. My mom looked a little curious when I did, like she might have sensed something but wasn't really sure. I was really jumpy inside and still feeling incredibly guilty for getting my dad in such a painful jam, but I guess I tried my best and somehow throttled it so she didn't catch on.

I was very impressed by my dad's doing what it took to just handle it like a man, not letting either my mother or me panic. It was his problem, and worrying others wouldn't help. I'd been thinking that if it was me I would be crying and twitching and making the biggest scene possible without even really intending to. He was just quiet and cool. By the time my mom got her coke, his hand had been cleaned and bandaged by a doctor.

It's smart and admirable to do things that way, like you do with your wife and poker. There's no value added by getting your wife's emotional state involved in your poker playing. Sometimes people can take the "strong silent type" archetype and push it to absurdity, but it can also just be mature and responsible and kind.

[OrangeHeat]

No offense - but I think your Mom has been posting as Pokerhorse [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Orange

[eMarkM]

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i used to tell my wife how much i won or lost every night when i came to bed. why does she need to ride the rollercoaster with me?

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I think there's a Negreanu article where he addressed this. I think he, too, was referring to his mother and instead of reporting every swing, he'd just say I made $X amount tonight. The X being whatever his hourly rate times hours spent playing was. Nevermind if on a given night he made 10 times that amount or suffered a large loss, he made $X that night. And in a sense reporting it that way would be true.

[Ponks]

Now that's a pretty good idea. Kinda forces them to understand poker for a winning player without them having to think about it.

Ponks

[cardcounter0]

Your Dad is what is known as a "Real Man".
I'm sure he gave you a lot of life lessons.
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I gotta stand up for the guy sometimes. I never would have dreamed of not screaming my head off if it were me. I was amazed how cool and in control he was, from the first. Not even the smallest sign of pain or nervousness for even a split second, and seeing the big picture right away, thinking of everybody else, not himself. It's amazing how strong and long lasting the lessons are that can be taught without ever saying a word, just by providing a living example and getting on with it all. I've often thought about how many great lessons unappreciative people miss, how many things we take for granted and learn nothing from. I sure there were kindnesses I missed, and that maybe that hurt sometimes.