I hope you're not getting addicted...

[MicroBob]

my mom has actually come around quite a bit on this....VERY much to my surprise. i really thought i was going to have to lie about my new 'career' just to keep her happy. but she has proven to be more flexible on this.

my dad has always been okay with it because he knows that i am decent at math. he doesnt know anything about poker ("i saw some of it on the TV....they were playing Texas-something-or-other i think") but he knows that if you are able to push a small advantage over and over again it will add up profitably in the long-run.

my mom still sometimes worries if she calls during the day to say hi and asks how i'm doing at the tables and i happen to say 'i'm down a little'.

but she is even coming to grips with this as well.
i've been able to say 'if your stock is down 1/8 of a point in the first hour....do you just panic and sell it all??' and try to explain that worrying about the amount that i have won or lost after a couple of hours of playing poker is about as silly.
since she has traded stocks successfully in the past this is something she is able to understand.


was pretty funny when i visited a couple months ago and she sat and watched a WPT episode with me (the one with Gus and Paul and Dewey). she was really getting into it and i think THAT really helped her see it even moreso as a game of skill that one can actually succeed consistently in.

i've told other friends who aren't understanding it as well.
mentioned things like my poker database which i study quite a bit which tells me what areas of the game i need to improve.

as well as the 2+2 forums which i describe as "a bunch of people smarter than me analyzing every aspect of the game".
also mention things like 'poker-theory' and 'game-theory' and make sure to mention that 'game-theory' is the stuff that that John Nash guy from Beautiful Mind was working on.

i thought the movie sucked....but everyone seems to go 'oh yeah....Game Theory.....that's some really fancy-pancy intellectual stuff'


when they ask how well i'm doing i'll mention that i'm 'grinding' out $25/hr over the past 1000 hours of play.

i think using terms like 'grinding' and talking in terms of win-rate per hour (instead of 'i won $40k last year') can help SOME people see it in a more accurate light.

it just sounds so much more serious and so much less lucky then weekly or yearly win totals (or individual tourney wins).

anyway, if you want to continue to talk with your mom about this you need to find a way to come across in a way that she might have a better chance of understanding what is going on.
some of the above suggestions might be worth considering....or come up with some of your own.

if you think that none of those would even work...then just keep it a secret from dear old mom. she'll rest easier at night....mom's are born worriers anyway and you don't need to be feeding her ideas that her precious baby might need to go to GA.

[Rosie]

i have the same problem with my mum... (I'm 28) but she and my dad still call it gambling and think I have a problem. See my other post in this forum and you might agree with them?

Ultimately... its a fun game and is supposed to be a game of skill and mathematics. I am still learning a lot, but how to convince someone who doesn't understand the game that it is different to Roulette etc is not easy without sounding like the junkie crying "I can control it". If you find a way, please tell me!!

[Webster]

The Only thing you can do is keep records and every so often show her results.

AND - DO NOT become additced - I did. I stopped twice in my life when family started to be 2nd to poker. I was addicted to winning and things got out of hand.

I started AGAIN a year ago knowing this and not have regular times I play.

[Dov]

Blackjack is not like craps. Blackjack can be beaten.

[Dov]

I read a book called Poker Nation by Andy Bellin. In it, he says something to the effect of:

When you start thinking that going to a movie will cost you the admission price plus 2 big bets, you're screwed.

In addition, I have spoken with some friends of mine (college kids) who are pretty good poker players, about job interviews. I told them to take a break from poker for a while, b/c they described their salaries as Big Bets. (As in - they were offering me $8/hr. That's not even one big bet!) (These kids play 10-20 on a semi regular basis)

You aren't addicted as long as the game doesn't interfere with your life. If it does, then you need to start paying close attention and catch it early.

As far as your mom, just take it slow. Most people have an image in mind when they hear certain words. It may take a very long time to change that image - and it may never happen. Poker is getting a makeover, but it may still take a few years. Just like in the game, patience will pay off in the end.

Good Luck

[drdre2001mm]

You are doing nothing wrong and you are addicted in the right way. The key thing you said was that you were using your "fun" money. So instead of spending your fun money on bowling, golf, etc.. you decide to use it on poker which you obviously seem to enjoy. I think you made the right choice and I wish you the best of luck at playing the game. Congrats on your tourney win by the way.

[LSUfan1]

I would have to say my wife would want me to make poker my career slight more than she would want me to become a serial killer.

although the 2 are probably interchangeable in her opinion!

[Dov]

It took me 2 years, but now my wife sometimes SENDS me to the casino to play. She likes to shop sometimes.

[Warik]

[ QUOTE ]
Poker is gambling.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think we can classify poker as gambling without being more specific.

If I blindly throw thousands of dollars into the stock market or real estate in a bad neighborhood, my action could not be described as an investment - it's a gamble.

If I am getting 10:1 on my money over a fair coin flip, it certainly can't be called gambling.

If I have 200,000 hands in my PT at a given level and am a 2 BB/100 player, then surely my playing can't be called "gambling."

The casino isn't gambling when it offers odds on roulette. It has a long term edge and it's exploiting that edge. It's a business. It's an investment of money... as is poker for many of us on these forums.

Gambling could be defined as betting on an uncertain outcome. I don't know about you, but I'm certain of what the outcome of my poker session will be. (Not "a" session... "THE" session).

[junkmail3]

Ha, yeah. My wife is the same. It took me almost two years to win her over, and she still worries sometimes, says that she just doesn't feel comfortable with me losing $200 in one day. ("Just think of what you could do with $200) And then I have to explain all over again how there is variance, expectation, odds, long term profitablilty, then she calms back down. (until my next losing session)

Solution: Don't lose. It's worked for me. Helps me win more too. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]