I have no friends anymore. Please help

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]

I take no meds now. I use to be an alcoholic but quit recently.


[/ QUOTE ]

inneedmoneybad,

Congratulations on taking the first step towards getting better, which was giving up alcohol. Of course, you still are an alcoholic, but at least you're sober now. Given how uncomfortable you are in social situations, it would not surprise me if you used alcohol to try to try self-medicate your own anxiety and/or depression.


As a clinical psychologist, I recommend that you:

-Begin attending A.A. meetings daily...and find a sponsor in A.A.
-Try to get a referral to a psychologist from a friend or relative...if there is no one who can help you, then look in the yellow pages--it's better than nothing. The psychologist you begin seeing can help you to figure out whether you need a referral for a medication consult.
-Try to remember that life will initially seem much more difficult without alcohol, at least until you learn the skills to manage socially and to magage your own mood states

Good luck to you!

[Al Schoonmaker]

You wrote: " I use to be an alcoholic but quit recently.
What kind of meds do I need?"
Chesspain is a clinical psychologist, while I am not. I urge you to take his reply much more seriously than you take mine.
However, I must make two additional points.
First, the phrase "I used to be an alcoholic" is incorrect. If you were an alcoholic, you are still one, and you will always be one. The fact that you have been sober a short time most definitely does not mean that you're cured. Alcoholics are NEVER cured. They relapse frequently, often after years of sobriety. I am NOT saying you're an alcoholic. It would be irresponsible for me to make a diagnosis. However, if you are one, you should plan on attending AA meetings indefinitely. You will need treatment for the rest of your life.
Second, no responsible professional will tell you what meds to take without thoroughly examining you. If anyone recommends any meds without a thorough examination, he is a quack and should be avoided. I am VERY serious.
Everyone with medical or psychological training is appalled and frightened by the ease of acquiring powerful drugs through the internet. Any drug that is powerful enough to help you is potentially dangerous, and no sane person takes drugs without a prescription from a responsible, well trained professional. If you take meds just because some irresponsible person recommends them, you are taking a crazy risk.
You clearly need much better help than you can get from this forum. Get it ASAP. Your mental health and perhaps your entire life are at stake.
Regards,
Al

[Anadrol 50]

It sounds like you are just depressed. It is good that you quit alcohol. I am no where near a psychologist or qualifiwed to give you advice......but when I am feeling low I like to have sex with an old girlfriend. Even if you dont have one to call, go get an erotic massage. Believe me, you will feel much better. All the psychological types will probably slam me for this but it will work.

Good luck and feel better !

[ineedmoneybad]

Thanks for the help.
Didnt go to the christmas gathering, just didnt feel confident enough

to go. I had to lie to the family and say I was sick again. Im 23 and a below average looking guy. Is this the main reason

everyone hates and avoids me? The way people stare at me sometimes I

get the message Im hated. Not an evil stare, just a rude blank

stare for no reason. I guess the thing I need to do is go to a psychologist out of the yellow pages. Im confused whats the difference between a counseler, therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist? are they all the same or is there a specific one I need?

[MrBlini]

Psychiatrists are medical doctors. In most states, psychiatrists can prescribe medications but psychologists cannot. Psychiatrists are often qualified to offer many of the same services as psychologists, including therapy, but do not perform psychological testing.

Psychologists have PhD doctorates in psychology. Unlike psychiatrists, they can administer psychological tests. Psychologists are familiar with a wide range of therapies, and should know when to refer a patient to a psychiatrist for medical needs.

Counselors and therapists typically have more limited training.

My own experience is that a psychologist can be a very good person to start with. The most important thing is to choose someone you feel very comfortable talking with.

[chesspain]

MrBlini has given you a very good explanation of the differences among psychologists, psychiatrists, and "counselors." Of course as a psychologist, I agree that a psychologist would be the best person with whom to begin [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

In all seriousness, let yourself take the step to make an appointment. You may well feel awkward during the initial visit, but try not to use that as an excuse to yourself to not continue. Given what sounds like your faily significant social anxiety and/or possible paranoia, I would assume that you will also be receiving a referral to a psychiatrist for a medication consult, since therapy + meds is usually more effective than one or the other alone.

In addition, please refrain from further using alcohol or any recreational drugs.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

[pretender2k]

I have used alcohol quite heavily myself in the past for many resons that were quite the same overall.

I would suggest asking a doctor about Paxil it helped me initially and then I got off of it withing a year.

Another thing that helped me was finding a good AA group. This can be an extremely scary experience the first time and I was lucky enough to find a couple of old friend there already but it really helped because I met people that were nice people that I could identify with that had been further down than me(jail etc.).

Beyond that I have one piece of advice as an entrepeneur.

"When you feel the warmth of the herd, you are in the wrong place" There are many people that are just meant to do more with their life and if you read their stories many of them have been where you are and I have been. It may just mean you are meant to do something great. Still seek medical advice as it may find a real problem just question what they find to make sure.

[Anadrol 50]

Before you waste big money on a shrink, follow my suggestion......

Also if you used to be into drinking, you should try out AA. You are definitely a strong person or you would have resorted back to drinking in this hard time.

[webiggy]

This is a very sad post to me. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] I can relate to your feelings, althogh I'm not an alcoholic, but was raised in a family full of them. I was a heavy drug user in high school, but then got off of them and finished college and became a CPA. I know the feelings associated with depression and a lack of self-confidence, particularly in my career as my family history never prepared me for the interactions with "normal" people. The only difference is that I believe people like me and also that I believe I'm an average looking guy, although I was never real comfortable with women. How I was able to find a wife is beyond me.

Anyway, this isn't about me - it's about you. I agree with most the posters here. Try to find a therapist, perhaps one that specializes in Marriage, Family, Child Counselling (MFCC). Just talking to someone will help you tremendously. Your therapist can provide you with some interpersonal coaching that might help. You also might want to talk to your doctor. Get some blood work done and share your depression symptoms with him/her. I personally have been taking Celexa which is supposed to help release blocked serritonin (sp?) in the brain (your happr brain stuff). Sometimes, this is useful as a lack of this stuff can inhibit the progress necessary to help you to deal with your issues.

I might also suggest you find something that can help you with your self esteem. Try working out, community service, a fulfilling hobby (not gambling, as if you have an addictive personality, it may become a replacement for booze). Actually working out may be a great way as exercise often releases endorphines which help to relieve stress. You'll feel better, sleep better, eat better and probably look better.

I think what I'm trying to say is that don't focus on one thing. Rather, look for a variety of ways to change your lifestyle so you don't focus too much on your "problems" while you are constructively dealing with them.

Good luck and no, everybody doesn't hate you. Love and respect yourself and everybody else will fall in line. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Iggy