Human Meat

[PoBoy321]

Graham Stansler: Now, if you work your way a little higher on the mountain, pickings get a little slimmer. Maybe some likens, some wet soil. But soon, that's gone, too, and to make matters worse, you realize you're lost, and you're starting to suffer from severe hypothermia.

Teri Rialto: Wow. Hypothermia.

Graham Stansler: [ starting to unravel ] Then you think you see a bridge off in the distance, leading to a Kentucky Fried Chicken that floats in the clouds. And your hiking partners have to restrain you. And then night sets in, and you're huddling in a snow cave drinking your own urine!

Margaret Jo McCullen: Wow, I bet that tastes terrible.

Teri Rialto: It actually doesn't.

Graham Stansler: After a couple of days, you're dehydrated! You've eaten your boot leather, and you're going blnid from hunger! That's when you get desperate! You have to find something to eat! So, you and your buddies draw straws to see which one of you guys isn't coming down the mountain!

Margaret Jo McCullen: [ unsettled ] Well.. how about we.. maybe talk a little -

Graham Stansler: Then, in perhaps your lowest moment, you cheat to make sure it's not going to be you. And it turns out to be.. Carl! The godfather of your children! [ sighs heavily ]

Margaret Jo McCullen: Maybe we should talk some more about GORP..

Graham Stansler: You know, it's really amazing how.. how easy it is.. how easy it is to turn your back on God! How easy it is to steal a little extra Carl while the others aren't looking! And then a chopper comes and rescues everyone! [ saullen ] But for the rest of your life, everything you eat.. tastes a little like Carl. Gamey, a little stringy. [ sighs ]

Teri Rialto: Okay.. well, thank you very much for coming, Graham.

Graham Stansler: Oh, sure. And thanks for having me, ladies. Remember: GORP stands for granola, oatmeal.. shoe leather, urine.. and Carl!

Kelsey Grammer on the Delicious Dish