To Atheists or Agnostics with children......

addickt · #1 11-01-2005, 07:56 PM

I certainly fall somewhere between these two beliefs.. My logical mind simply cannot justify accepting fairy tales as truth in the abscence of ANY REAL data..

That being said, believing that there is nothing after death is not very pleasant.. To be quite honest I wish I were a "sheep" like many of these people and could become a believer.

THe thought of death as the absolute end of my existence is downright petrifying.. Which brings me to this.....

I am facing a disease which almost certainly will kill me within the next 8 years ( IM only 31) and I have a 2 year old daughter...

I absolutely want her to believe in God as my life would likely have been a lot easier, and the dying process certainly less anguishing If I believed in God. In no way, shape or form do I want her to anguish over the thought of death being final ( even if I do). Certainly most of her beliefs will be formed by herself, or after I am gone but nonetheless I dont know how I will answer her questions.

Right now, I pray with her every night, even though I have never prayed Until I had her.

I am just curious what you guys tell your children.

imported_luckyme · #2 11-01-2005, 08:21 PM

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I am just curious what you guys tell your children.

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In my family, - Essentially the same as we do on any other topic, point out the factors involved and how to use rational thought to point you toward good decisions. Whether religion, politics, family relations, good behaviour at school, duty to others, etc, we talk about it from a base of 'what we know' to 'what are we going to do about it'. Pretty straightforward open approach. We encourge them to form their own opinions from as much information as they want/need and participate in dialogue form rather than lecture.

luckyme

Jeff V · #3 11-01-2005, 08:30 PM

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To be quite honest I wish I were a "sheep" like many of these people and could become a believer.

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Some people think faith means lack of doubt, but that's not the case.

Why would you want your daughter to believe a supposed lie? Do you think that would make her life easier? It won't. Or maybe your mad at God for your disease? I wonder why you pray nightly with her, is it just in case?

I definately empathize with the best of my ability with your situation, and wish you the best.

Just curious is the agnostic side of you still looking for answers?

benkahuna · #4 11-01-2005, 09:04 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I certainly fall somewhere between these two beliefs.. My logical mind simply cannot justify accepting fairy tales as truth in the abscence of ANY REAL data..

That being said, believing that there is nothing after death is not very pleasant.. To be quite honest I wish I were a "sheep" like many of these people and could become a believer.

THe thought of death as the absolute end of my existence is downright petrifying.. Which brings me to this.....

I am facing a disease which almost certainly will kill me within the next 8 years ( IM only 31) and I have a 2 year old daughter...

I absolutely want her to believe in God as my life would likely have been a lot easier, and the dying process certainly less anguishing If I believed in God. In no way, shape or form do I want her to anguish over the thought of death being final ( even if I do). Certainly most of her beliefs will be formed by herself, or after I am gone but nonetheless I dont know how I will answer her questions.

Right now, I pray with her every night, even though I have never prayed Until I had her.

I am just curious what you guys tell your children.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd be honest with her about how you feel. But, put a positive spin on things. Children respect honesty and it's more likely to lead to good personal growth. I greatly respect your desire to protect your daughter. But, lying is usually not a good way to do it. Even just telling her you're unsure what happens when you die is okay. Spend time with her, help her grow, and give her some positive experiences to focus upon prior to your passing.

Religion is only a mild comfort with death and depending upon how your daughter develops will determine her response.

I'm also really sorry to hear that you've got a likely terminal disease. I say likely because I'm holding out for a cure.

David Sklansky · #5 11-01-2005, 09:22 PM

"I am facing a disease which almost certainly will kill me within the next 8 years"

I'm betting the over. Especially if you can make it for the next few years. And if I'm right, you can lay about 20-1 it won't be because of anything a devout religious person thought of.

Meanwhile there are life after death scenarios that you can talk to your daughter about that don't require the moronic specifics of organized religion.

And thank you for putting a face on the arguments against people like BluffTHIS or RJT who say that its no big deal if excellent minds are spending there time on deciding whether Mary was a virgin rather than studying molecular biology.

IronUnkind · #6 11-02-2005, 01:44 AM

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And thank you for putting a face on the arguments against people like BluffTHIS or RJT who say that its no big deal if excellent minds are spending there time on deciding whether Mary was a virgin rather than studying molecular biology.

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Or writing poker books?

David Sklansky · #7 11-02-2005, 02:27 AM

Thanks. I just won a $300 bet that you would be posting that within 24 hours of my post.

NLSoldier · #8 11-02-2005, 03:05 AM

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Thanks. I just won a $300 bet that you would be posting that within 24 hours of my post.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha, thats awesome.

IronUnkind · #9 11-02-2005, 09:41 PM

Even when you lose you win.

RJT · #10 11-02-2005, 02:12 AM

Sorry to temporarily hijack this thread addickt.

[ QUOTE ]
And thank you for putting a face on the arguments against people like BluffTHIS or RJT who say that its no big deal if excellent minds are spending there time on deciding whether Mary was a virgin rather than studying molecular biology.

[/ QUOTE ]

David,

You should understand me by now better than this. Especially after I already told you that my mom’s breast cancer was entirely removed thanks to modern science and to doctors. N. B, I did not attribute it to an act of God. (Although, I like to imagine that God watches over her, as she is truly a special person - others tell me that often, so I am being objective.)

I merely disagree with you that religious don’t choose science. Again, I think science becomes more important to folk than religion once one becomes immersed in his/her work. Your whole discussion would be a lot easier if you were to give examples of geniuses who have studied the issue. As I posted yesterday, the only person I have read who I think fit your criteria of genius (because I think you had stated that he does) is Bertrand Russell. The title of his essay is really a misnomer anyway. He never really says why he isn’t one - other than basically that he is atheist. He mostly talks about nonsense Religion stuff.

RJT.