Spice up the relationship

[[censored]]

Is there a link where you describe said relationship? Also if I understand things correctly the relationship ended, you are now back together and things "are not they way they were"? Guess what dude they aren't going to be again, chances are it's doomed and nothing you can do is going to change that. But if there is a problem I seriously doubt looking for ways to spice up the sex life is going to fix anything. Infact there is a good chance it will just push her further away.

I don't know what specifically you need to do but in general you need to find activities you can do together that result in laughing, happiness and feelings of enjoyment and you need to find ways to intimate with her that do not involve sex. You basically work on a relationship.

Also dude, she's just turned 21 and wants to start going to bars, for most girls this isn't a time in their life where they are looking for serious relationships - especially one that has already failed once. just a courtesy FYI.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
i don't understand why people are in relationships where it's work to get the other person to have sex with them. both people have to be satisfied in a relationship, but if you have to take calculated steps to prep them for something either you're not doing enough cool stuff without having to deliberate over it, or there's a problem. libido incompatibility, they have some sort of external mental issue, or whatever.

[/ QUOTE ]

The other parts of the relationship are good enougn to compensate for the lack of sex

also for some > none, in many cases.

[MonkeeMan]

I think you need to add a little jealousy to her life, a little competition for her to worry about.

Either that or hand puppets.

But not both.

[astroglide]

[ QUOTE ]
The other parts of the relationship are good enougn to compensate for the lack of sex

[/ QUOTE ]

if that's _truly the case_, why isn't the issue written off instead of complaining and trying to change it? everybody accepts all sorts of things about people in their relationships. if 'all sorts of things' were as discussed as common sexual incompatibility, then we'd literally never be able to hold another conversation because it would always be, "how do i get my wife to like lacrosse?" and "why won't my mom play magic: the gathering with me?"

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

this is retarded. if your girl isnt comfortable naked around you, you got a problem, i dont care if she just ate a whole cow.


[/ QUOTE ]

I have never in my life dated a girl who didn't have at least a little bit of a body image issue. now I never said you can't get laid after they eat, I'm just saying the odds are lower. For a Pimp like you that probably just means 99.9999999999% goes to 99.99999999998% or something, but it is still real.

also I am guessing from your post that you are 12.

[/ QUOTE ]

my point is that she isn't uncomfortable being naked around you because she just ate. thats just stupid, and if you can't see that then you are ignorant.
which you probably are since the girl your in love with and has been with you for four years DOES NOT have body image issues around you naked.

and no, im 11 btw.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The other parts of the relationship are good enougn to compensate for the lack of sex

[/ QUOTE ]

if that's _truly the case_, why isn't the issue written off instead of complaining and trying to change it? everybody accepts all sorts of things about people in their relationships. if 'all sorts of things' were as discussed as common sexual incompatibility, then we'd literally never be able to hold another conversation because it would always be, "how do i get my wife to like lacrosse?" and "why won't my mom play magic: the gathering with me?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats a good question. It seems to be pretty common though. Perhaps it is as simple and many guys never being satisfied with how much sex they get. If this is the case having sex being the determining factor of whether a relationship continues would be foolish.

Also though I think there is a great deal of importance and emphasis put on sex and most of this is directed at males. It really is everywhere. So in some cases there could other problems in the relationship but sex becomes the scape goat.

In others it could be a case of guys thinking they should be getting more than X quantity believing that is what is standard and what should be strived for.

However this isn't to minimize the occurences of times where there really is a unshared belief on how much sex each partner desires because they do exist. And I agree all the little games are tricks are rather stupid. Usually a simple "honey I think we should have more sex, why aren't we?" could work.

[diebitter]

[ QUOTE ]
In others it could be a case of guys thinking they should be getting more than X quantity believing that is what is standard and what should be strived for.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, but less than once every nine months isn't good, is it?

[poboy]

It took me a few years to figure it out but the key to getting great sex all the time is super simple. Do the exact opposite of what you think you should be doing. Instead of trying to get it all the time, act like you could care less if you have sex. In no time at all she'll be the one begging for it. Here's a little factoid, women want sex just as bad if not more so then men.

Also quit kidding yourself you're only 20, you are not even close to being good in bed. Hell you probably can't even satisfy yourself properly yet. This is not a problem however since she's young also and probably doesn't know any better. Good luck.

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
It took me a few years to figure it out but the key to getting great sex all the time is super simple. Do the exact opposite of what you think you should be doing. Instead of trying to get it all the time, act like you could care less if you have sex. In no time at all she'll be the one begging for it. Here's a little factoid, women want sex just as bad if not more so then men.



[/ QUOTE ]

Once again the Seinfeld rule comes through.

This mostly only works on girls who on some level are insecure about either themselves or the relationship and always see their sexuality as a "power" source. When you are constantly in need of said resource (sex) then you are in need of them this gives them power and securiy by restricting the resource. But when you are not seeking the resource on a consant basis, or don't appear to need it, the inner insecurities or fears of not beeing needed, wanted or whatever will take over and they will then turn to using the one resource they see themselves as having.

I'm not sure if these are the types of girls you should be seeking. There are probably worse things to deal with though.

[Dariel86]

Yeah, I agree with you. But you aren't necessarily living together at that age. And you probably wouldn't want to [censored] in a motel ever other day.

I'm having sex with my GF 3-4 times a week though [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]