Racism

[CIncyHR]

I just want to clarify the person;s original statement that he would never marry a balck person:

1. He would never do it under any circtumstance.
2. Its not a matter of physical attraction, becuase there are blakc girls he finds attractive. He would even date them, but never marry.
3. He would emphatically rule out marriage to any black woman BEFORE meeting, speaking, dating, or spending time with them.
4. This is not based on religious or socioeconomic factors, as he was just as certain he would never marry a person who mtached him perfectly.
5. He does have MANY non-white friends who he treats equally to his whit eones., He is clearly not prejudiced, but fails to understand the difference between racism and prejudice.

Now a few things about me:
1. yes, I'm only 20.. Ive never been married. In fact, Ive only been in one relationship,a nd it was a long distance one. Im not making a statement about marriage. I have no idea what it takes in order to marry someone. That is part of why I asked the question. I was really open to opinions about why thsi ISNT racism. I felt awful after the conversation becuase he took great offense (mostly becuase he thought i was syaing he is prejudiced) and was wondering if I owed him an apology for calling him something he is not.
2. In general, I find white women mroe attractive than black women (possibly due to my lack of exposure to africna americans). However, my mind is nto clsoed ot marrying outside of my race if I ever met someone special.
3. I am totally open to opinions here. I would be OK with fidning out I was wrong, I just havent seen a convinceing argument for it yet. I accept the possibility that some white people just aren't physically attracted to blacks, but that is not the point we are debating here.
4. I would never claim to be completely free of racism. For God's sake I grew up in a town with like 7 black people. There are so many thnigs I have never experienced that I have to believe that somewhere inside of me are some ignorant views that I can change someday.

I hope this helps clear things up.

[Roy Stalin]

These threads always get off track because no one knows the proper definition of rasicm. As another poster pointed out, so many of societies ills have been incorrectly attributed to racism that the word has lost its meaning. That fact can be seen in the ever evolving definition of the word in the dictionary. Check out an old dictionary sometime and see just how much. Just using the word once in an arguement with someone basically ensures that no reasonable discussion can take place afterwards.

That said, the older and I think proper, definition of racism is the belief in the genetic superiority or inferiority of a group of people based on their race. It seems to me that your friend doesn't believe that blacks are inherently inferior. Most people incorrectly use racist when they mean to use biased or prejudiced. Those two words are different from each other as well and mean very different things than racist.

I'd say your friend is neither racist or predjudiced (as long as you agreed on the terms of the question he couldn't have prejudged anything).

If your friend doesn't think he could handle marrying a black girl, that means he has some bias against marrying a black girl. That is all.

Roy

[applejuicekid]

[ QUOTE ]
This is a stupid assumption in general. If someone finds black women unattractive because of their skin color, it isn't 'evil' or 'ignorant'. If you want to call it racism, then you're really diluting the term.

The example of a bald woman goes with this well. That is like saying that the guy who chooses to avoid the bald woman is just as 'the racist' guy who chooses the white lady.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is very wrong. Being bald is unattractive because it is often the sign of an odler person or someone who is sick thus wouldn't make a good mate. Skin color on the other hand is not. If someone finds a certain skin color unattractive, it is "ignorant" and pretty much the definition of racism.

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is a stupid assumption in general. If someone finds black women unattractive because of their skin color, it isn't 'evil' or 'ignorant'. If you want to call it racism, then you're really diluting the term.

The example of a bald woman goes with this well. That is like saying that the guy who chooses to avoid the bald woman is just as 'the racist' guy who chooses the white lady.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is very wrong. Being bald is unattractive because it is often the sign of an older person or someone who is sick thus wouldn't make a good mate. Skin color on the other hand is not. If someone finds a certain skin color unattractive, it is "ignorant" and pretty much the definition of racism.

[/ QUOTE ]

So if someone chooses to be bald on their own will (a woman)...What is your case there? You're changing the circumstances (creating age/sickness) to try and support your point. That is fallable. I don't think finding someone unattractive based on skin tones is racist. My girlfriend is pretty white (see: not tan) and if someone didn't find her attractive because she wasn't of a darker tone, I wouldn't call them racist but you would, interesting.

I saw the points made before. Your point, however, is invisible to me.

[-Skeme-]

[ QUOTE ]
I think the conclusion was that this is not racist.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just shallow.

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
{snip}

If your friend doesn't think he could handle marrying a black girl, that means he has some bias against marrying a black girl. That is all.

Roy

[/ QUOTE ]

Good post in its entirety. In many cases the people here are calling him racist for the wrong reasons. The support for their stances is poor and misleading. I wouldn't say this, but I could understand if someone did

"I wouldn't ever marry a deaf and blind quadripalegic person."

In that case it would have more to do with living circumstances and it is in no way racist. Is it a foolish comment? I think so, but I wouldn't blame someone for saying it because it is their opinion. It does not make them evil (which I think "the bad kind" of racism is evil...).

That all said, my example is pertinent to this topic because it goes to show how some people here are taking the 'racist' aspects out of context in this situation a little bit.

Responses?

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's clearly racist, treating her differently on the basis of race.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this type of racism is inherent in everyone. That is all there is to it. The cultural differences alone often are a cause of that fact. That doesn't mean that everyone who is 'racist' is evil about it. I think it is perfectly fine and natural to have 'prejudice' opinions about other races. We have prejudice opinions about ANYONE that has some different feature from us. Prejudice and racism don't have to be bad things, they exist and always will. It is just a matter of not becoming one of "those racists" or what not.
HTH

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because it exists doesn't make it right. I accept that racism is out there, but it doesn't mean that I have to turn a blind eye to it when asked about it candidly. Cultural differences certainly do exist, but in the specific OP's situation, it's clearly racist. How is it not? The OP's friend is making a judgement on someone else based solely on their skin color. This has nothing to do with cultural differences.

It's quite ignorant to have prejudicial opinions of other races. Just because most of the world is ignorant doesn't make it right.

[SoloAJ]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's clearly racist, treating her differently on the basis of race.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this type of racism is inherent in everyone. That is all there is to it. The cultural differences alone often are a cause of that fact. That doesn't mean that everyone who is 'racist' is evil about it. I think it is perfectly fine and natural to have 'prejudice' opinions about other races. We have prejudice opinions about ANYONE that has some different feature from us. Prejudice and racism don't have to be bad things, they exist and always will. It is just a matter of not becoming one of "those racists" or what not.
HTH

[/ QUOTE ]

Just because it exists doesn't make it right. I accept that racism is out there, but it doesn't mean that I have to turn a blind eye to it when asked about it candidly. Cultural differences certainly do exist, but in the specific OP's situation, it's clearly racist. How is it not? The OP's friend is making a judgement on someone else based solely on their skin color. This has nothing to do with cultural differences.

It's quite ignorant to have prejudicial opinions of other races. Just because most of the world is ignorant doesn't make it right.

[/ QUOTE ]

So my question to you is, if someone is not attracted to a female becuase she isn't as tanned as another female (both Caucasian 'technically') is that person racist? And if so, why is that ignorant of them?

Look, I do agree with your assessment in part. I hate turning blindly from it too, but I don't think this situation is cut and dry racism like so many posters here want to say. They're ignoring a lot of unknown facts.

[CIncyHR]

This has no relation to the OP. The person I was talknig to wasnt concerned with actual color of the skin. It's the idea of being "black". He has been attracted to blakc girls before,

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]

So my question to you is, if someone is not attracted to a female becuase she isn't as tanned as another female (both Caucasian 'technically') is that person racist? And if so, why is that ignorant of them?

Look, I do agree with your assessment in part. I hate turning blindly from it too, but I don't think this situation is cut and dry racism like so many posters here want to say. They're ignoring a lot of unknown facts.

[/ QUOTE ]

It appears that the OP's situation IS cut and dry, given the facts. It's not that the OP's friend thinks that black women aren't attractive, but that he won't even consider marrying her because of his idea of her race. He doesn't treat her like a human being on her own merits, but simply lumps her in another category, based SOLELY on her race.

If you just don't find other people attractive, then that's fine. I'm sure you don't find certain people of your own race attractive for that matter, but to just lump people up into a group like that is what I'm trying to get at.

[ QUOTE ]

This has no relation to the OP. The person I was talknig to wasnt concerned with actual color of the skin. It's the idea of being "black". He has been attracted to blakc girls before,


[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, well this doesn't really change much either. He's basically saying that he won't be with her because she's of a different race. The implication is that black women are inferior to him. I honestly can't see how anyone can spin this as not being racism. It's not as bad as lynching someone or genocide, but it's from the same motivation.