Poker has taken over. Help!

[Bralynn]

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Poker is only a game. The main thing i learned is you have to play poker emotionless if you want to do well. You must relize that bad beats happen, they our part of the game. On a sheet of paper mark: Beats taken and Beats given. Keep tally and they will even out. Poker can be very unhealthy if you let what happens gets to you. Pick a limit that you can make decent money,but doesnt hurt if you lose a few buyin. Clean up regularly and if you have a bad day and lose alittle, so what, your playing within your roll.

Best ADIVE: play poker emotionless, wheather you win or lose.

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I agree with playing emotionless, and I usually do, but sometimes it's just extremely hard not to get involved.

As far as the bad beats evening out, that is definitely not the case. I believe I've literally given about 1/30th the amount of bad beats to people that I have received. Maybe once every day or two do I say, 'Wow, I got lucky on that one'. I play NL, so my money is all-in with the best of it. I think that's what makes the bad beats so much worse.

[4_2_it]

Speaking from personal experience I will say you are in dangerous waters and you realize it; hence your post. If you only tell your wife that you are doing well you are setting up an expectation that you will never be able to meet. No one wins all the time. Don't make the mistake of choosing poker over your wife and family.

I know I don't know your whole situation, but I think you know what you should do (based upon your responses), but I'll throw in my $0.02 anyway (and if I'm wrong all apologies).

Your current family situation does not justify you being a full-time poker player. You are not a single college student with minimal expenses. You need health insurance and your kids can't skip a meal if you run off of food. You should be working a full-time job that guarantees a steady stream of income so that you can support your family.

You should establish a separate poker bankroll (you may need to start small). Play poker as a hobby. As your bankroll builds, reward yourself. Let your wife see your balance every month or so. While she may not like you playing (mine doesn't either), at least she can see that you aren't a degenerate gambling away your rent money.

I am not a professional by any stretch, only someone who had to deal with the issue of poker interfering with my family life.

Please let us know how this turns out.

Joe

Some of the soundest advice I've ever read. Maybe the bad beat thing is skewed, but the meat of what you say is a perfect description of my approach to the game. It's kept me sane and able to enjoy my table time.

[felix83]

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I will add is that since since you have a wife, talk to her. You didn't mention how she feels about it. She certainly has noticed your mood swings. Mine did. I found that sharing my ups and downs with her has made me a much happier person away from the tables.


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Poker has been a very big deal in the past before. She really doesn't like the game at all. The problem exists for her now though too, she doesn't like me playing, but knows that I need to in order for us to pay the bills.



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At the risk of reading a little too much into your life, but just basing this advice on people I have known, your wife is probably feeling trapped right now because she's relying on something that she sees as unstable and foreign to pay her bills and feed your children. Talk to her openly about it, show her some of your history, and then talk it out together. She may start to see it differently and become supportive about it, or she may use that new information to present an argument that you didn't see before, that may make you change your mind. Either way, hope it works out for you. Poker's a tough game that I could never play for a living, and I hate to hear of any bad coming from what should be an enjoyable experience.