Desire to be the best causing premature burnout? (long)

[Sean D]

Since I was a kid, I have always been the type of person who has to be great at everything I do. It was sports when I was a kid. If it was baseball season, I was outside for hours at a time throwing the ball against the wall. During basketball, I would shoot all night, then go to the park and shoot under the lights. And I went through different phases as a kid, during different sports. My dad really pushed football and baseball on me as a kid. He was always the coach, and I was always the coach's son that could play. I had to be the quarterback in football, shortstop and pitcher in baseball, I had to be on the front line in hockey and soccer. I never could take being second best, and if I was, I would practice constantly to become the best, or at least the best around.

I started thinking about it the other day, and I realized a trend that seems to happen. I play so hard, and practice so much, that eventually I don't want to play it any more. And so I move onto something different, rinse, repeat. I used to play pee-wee football when i was a kid, starting at age 7. I played for 6 years, until my pee-wee "career" was up. I was the quarterback the last 2 years, and we won the state championship the last year. Then, all of a sudden, I decided to quit football altogether. I had no desire to play any more, and wanted to do something different. The same was true for almost every sport I played. I played baseball all the way from little league, to senior league. I was on the all-star team every single year, and was the starting pitcher. But at the end of senior league, I developed a dislike for the game, and stopped playing. I then took up golf in high school. I started out pretty bad, but I got a job at a golf course, and practiced for hours every day after work. I worked my way down to about a 7 handicap when i was 16. The team turned around my senior year, and we did well at states.

Honestly, I really could go on about everything that I became obsessed with/withdrew from, but I know most of you don't want to hear about it. It happens with everything I do; horseshoes, darts, hockey, beer pong, soccer, etc. I am extremely competitive, and that causes me to practice obsessively. Then I quit.

Lately I've been realizing that this is what is happening with poker now. I started a few years ago, back when it first started getting popular with the "college" crowd. We played sparingly at our house. Eventually we started to play more, so I researched the game on the internet. I was the first one of my friends to start playing online, and I started to take the game seriously. I began to purchase books, Super/System, TOP, HEPFAP. I read them over and again, and started to become a dominant player at our home games. I loved the game, and purchased more and more books, I probably have over 30 now. But lately, I've began to notice this trend again. I just broke up w/ my gf, and I thought I would play more now that I have more free time. But I haven't gone to the last 2 home games because I just didn't feel like it. The extra money is nice, but even money now is hardly an incentive for me to play. The only reason I play lately, is because I'm working on clearing the August bonus on Empire. And that is like pulling teeth to get me to sit down and play.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I think it is really affecting how I live my life. I just thought about it, and this is what happened to my education. I was very smart in highschool, but as I got older, I started to hate school. I was supposed to go sign up for classes today at a local community college, to try and get my education back on track, but I decided not to. I have no desire to go. So I think there is something in my head that causes me to do this to myself.

I'm sorry for the extremely long rant, I don't care if no one reads this. I know I wouldn't read a post this long. But if anyone has insight or wants to share similar experiences, I'd like to hear. Thanks

It's quite remarkable how similar our stories are. I am ultra-competitive and want to do everything I do really well. This causes me to obsess until I am really good at it, but this causes my life to be completely unbalanced.

Quitting because of the burnout is the expected outcome and I am seeing that I'm enjoying poker much less these days than when I first started(funny thing is I used to lose money when I started and I'm profitable in most sessions I play now). Paradoxically, this obsession to be the best ensures that we will quit at some point and never reach the stage where we can be the world champion of something.

I'm grappling with this because I think that this is a gift(the ability to single mindedly focus on something until we are the best) but a curse at the same time. If only this could somehow be harnessed and directed properly and in the right amount, great things could start to happen...

Another offshoot of this is because I know or think that I can excel at anything I choose, my energy is dissipated trying different things over time(maybe getting bored with what I was doing earlier), and at the end of the day I really haven't accomplished anything truly great at any one thing.

Not really providing you any answers. Just sharing my experiences because your post sounds quite similar to what I'm facing right now.

[gergery]

I will also become fairly obsessive at something, get good at it, get bored and move on to something else. The key is to move on to something that has related skills so it is both new/different/exciting to keep your interest, but yet affords you the opportunity to come in with strong skills. So switch from Hearts to bridge, or hockey to lacross,….or NLHE to O8 to PLO8!

I also get obsessed with things and then quickly get bored with them, but I find poker is different because it is so complex and you can move up money levels. Plus you can win money if you're above average.

[Sean D]

It is nice to know others have had similar experiences. I have tried what you said gergery. Back when I started losing interest in hold'em, I moved to LO8, and started posting in those forums to become better. Now the game is starting to bore me again, and I have found myself learning PLO8. I think learning different games is a good idea to keep my interest. But honestly, these days, there are like 5 other things I'd rather be doing than playing poker. Whereas a year ago, it was number one. And its not like I've been running bad. I've done decent lately, but the money doesn't really mean that much to me.

I think really it just comes down to trying to balance everything. I think maybe right now I just need to take a break from the game, and maybe my love for the game will come back. I might try to find another hobby to pursue for a while, maybe video games or something. Man, now that I think about it, I was the same way with video games. I hadn't played video games in years, but I suddenly had the urge to buy Gran Turismo4 a few months back. I played it constantly for 3 weeks, then quit one day. Haven't played it since. Maybe this whole thing is deeper ingrained in my subconscience than I thought.

[krubban]

I had the same problem as you do a while back. I'm a relative newbie and had been playing like a madman for 9 months until i just didn't enjoy it anymore. Only played once in a while to do some bonus.
Then they released World of Warcraft and I took a 4 month break until I got tired of that too. Now I'm back and poker is more fun then ever so i suggest you take a break and find something else to do for a while.

[xniNja]

Similar story as you, except I've recently (last 3-4 months) have learned to take the slow & steady route up limits in poker to prevent burnout.

Specifically, setting goals to move up in limits prevents the feeling of victory/accomplishment when you're beating your current game. If your goal is to play 40K-x hands at whatever limit, making 1.5 BB/100, and then to move up to the next limit, and repeat... you may not feel like you've already conquered poker and it might continually challenge and interest you.

Taking breaks is always good too.

[Sean D]

Ha, I hardly feel like I've conquered poker. Setting goals seems like a good idea, but I really can't force myself to play that much. I probably average about 2000 hands a month. So while I am beating the game, it is hard to build my bankroll enough to keep moving up limits when I play only sparingly. Tonight will be the third straight home game that I am missing, although it is for different reasons. I think a break will do me some good, although I have already verbally committed to a local 2-day tourney this weekend. Maybe if I do well, it will spark my interest to play more. Thanks for the comments.

[bohemian]

[ QUOTE ]
Ha, I hardly feel like I've conquered poker. Setting goals seems like a good idea, but I really can't force myself to play that much. I probably average about 2000 hands a month. So while I am beating the game, it is hard to build my bankroll enough to keep moving up limits when I play only sparingly. Tonight will be the third straight home game that I am missing, although it is for different reasons. I think a break will do me some good, although I have already verbally committed to a local 2-day tourney this weekend. Maybe if I do well, it will spark my interest to play more. Thanks for the comments.

[/ QUOTE ]

Having successfully faced the same problem, I can only say:
- don't take yourself too seriously (really, you have nothing to prove to anybody despite the feelings to the contrary)
- don't take the game too seriously (yes, it's money, but it's also ONLY money)
- diversify your time
- don't be afraid to give up some EV for extra fun [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Bohemian

[AZnuts]

Variety is the spice of life.

I am in the same place after a couple years of serious poker, all Hold'Em. I'm just starting over with Omaha 8 as a new game.