embarassed to be aggressive (and winning)

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If you feel uncomfortable playing online and raising then you have larger issues and should probably consider getting help for social anxiety.

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I feel confortable playing online and raising. Perhaps I was being too subtle; I was trying to express an over-protection of my winnings problem and perhaps being somehow "found out" by other players, i.e. over-betting/bullying tactics that would then be turned against me. It's a style of playing I'm new to and which has worked wonders since trying it out.

[puzzlemoney]

This may be an obvious question, but do you feel the same embarrassment when raising with the nuts, or only when you're bluffing or weak?

When I'm on a bluff, I sometimes do get a feeling that might be described as embarrassment--a combination of anxiety and self-consciousness--that absolutely goes away as soon as the guy folds. This would be contrasted, I guess, to a feeling of smugness or cleverness that some might feel while bluffing. I don't know.

The feeling is definitely worse when I'm ahead, especially if I've had a few hands where I sucked out or won despite a play that I realize was bad. If I'm playing against total donks, I feel far more confident, as though I've "earned" my enlarged stack.

I do know that the feeling has to be overcome, or I'll fold every time I get raised...

[BottlesOf]

NO, if this is true, this isn't the game for you.

[Budget Boy]

I would recommend reading "The Psychology of Poker." I think you will be able to relate to many of Dr. Al's ideas. The concept as I understand it is that the natural thing to do in a live poker game is to check and call. By doing this you are not disturbing people with nasty raises or re-raises, you are going along with the rest of the group, checking and calling like good donkeys should. Dr. Al explains that playing tight-aggressive poker is not really the natural behavior in this particular social setting (poker game), and many players will even resent you for it. If you want to win though, this is how you must play.
Personally, I have no problem whatsoever with my opponents resenting me, or even criticizing my play (hear it all the time). I don't view them as equals, their respect means nothing to me. I am strong and they are weak, I am a winner and they are losers, why ever feel embarassed in front of fools. If you are "running over the game" with aggressive play great, keep doing it, when you start getting more calls just change gears and tighten up for a while.

[AustinDoug]

I consider it to be a very nice compliment when the table complains about how much I'm raising. If people are giving you grief about raising, it means you're running over the table. You should not feel embarassed about maximizing your chances of winning their money because they are doing everything they can to win yours -- they just don't know how.

[Nigel]

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I used to play VERY tightly and fairly aggressively, but I win quite a bit more now by loosening up a little pre-flop and being VERY aggressive post flop and having many players fold on me (I occasional fold, however).
My problem is a strange one: I feel embarassed for some reason and I'll actually refrain from raising (AGAIN!). This gets to the point where I feel uncomfortable and I think about leaving!
Does this happen to anyone else?

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I've experienced this feeling, but it's less embarassment and more of a tactical decision to refrain from being too aggressive against overly weak opposition as I don't want them to feel overly abused and leave the table, or start to make correct adjustments to their play to counter my aggression. This is usually HU or 3 handed that this would occur.

At times I do even feel badly for them, but I never think about leaving though and I'm ok taking their money. I just don't like them to feel like I am destroying them.

Hope that makes sense.

Nigel

[Greg J]

If you enjoy poker, and know anything about it, then you obviously know this is a problem. Perhaps you should post this on the psych forum. Most of us don't have this problem at all. (In fact, raising kinda makes me happy in the pants!)

[UATrewqaz]

Oddly enough I experience the same at times.... BUT ONLY PREFLOP. I have no problem raising with big or better hands after the flop, but preflop when I raise and raise and raise and am the only person at the table doing it I KNOW I am pissing the othe rpeople off and there is jus something about that that bothers me.

Nobody thinks its "dumb" to raise when you have a good hand (post flop) however there are alot of people who incorrectly think that alot of preflop raising makes you a maniac or a dumb ass and you are ruining everyone's game and just wanna gamble, etc. They don't understand that AQo or 99 IS ALREADY good hand and that's why you're raising.

If your goal is to make money you just gotta say to hell with it and raise.

[Guthrie]

No. I'm doing them a favor by raising. If they fold to my raise then they save money. If they call it costs them more when they lose.

[CanKid]

When you realize everyone thinks you're FOS, this is the time to change gears. This ability can be a big earn for you (particularly at low/mid stakes) if you can adjust properly.

It's important to see what people are mucking against you, this will help you learn just how frustrated they are with your style. Use their inability to adjust to your advantage.