Dear Bison. July 2005. Something licked this way comes.

[Ghazban]

Dear Bison,

I'm pretty good at almost everything I attempt (games, sports, careers, etc.) but not extraordinarily good at anything (that is, I catch on quick to things and often can learn and apply the basics to new endeavors within a short time but never reach that "holy crap, you're really good at _____" phase). What do I need to do to get from 'pretty good' to 'extremely good' at something? Am I destined to forever be a jack-of-all-trades and master of none?

[megantw]

Dear Bison,

I don't know Wendell.

My boyfriend is indeed hypercompetitive, but he is in no way dumb. I forgot to mention that this is the second game that I've won regularly while playing with him. We learned how to play Palace about a month ago at the same time, but he didn't start winning until I was becoming bored with the game. I don't want him to get discouraged.

Perhaps you have an idea for a different game we could learn together.

[sfer]

Dear Megan,

Tapper.
Ms Pacman.

Wendell.

[megantw]

Oh, I see how it is.

How about Centipede?

I can't wait to play Gin Rummy tonight so I can see the tears well in your eyes when I knock with Gin and you still have face cards as deadwood.

[bisonbison]

Dear Ghaz,

There's not a significant difference between the ability needed to grasp a skill and to improve in said skill over time. The difference is effort, and effort comes from interest.

If there's something you want to get really good at, you're going to have to be interested enough to invest the effort. That's it. Don't worry about it.

[bisonbison]

Dear Megan,

Wendell is Dave, and Dave, Wendell.

He's a sharp guy, but being hypercompetitive makes him dumb, cause he's actually less interested in learning the game than in beating you at it, so he continually fails to learn.

[sfer]

Are you bringing up tears? Tell the truth.

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear Pink,

Dinner is pretty key.

Beyond that it depends on her. Movies are low-key and don't require you to make hours of conversation. Window shopping (if you go out to dinner at some sort of downtown place) is always good if you do feel like you can charm her.

The basics: ask her out to dinner, ask her if there's anywhere she'd like to go, pay.

[/ QUOTE ]

sorry, horrible advice.

dinner is okay, but a movie? On a first date? Gee, let's sit next to a person I want to get to know better in total silence for two hours. What a great idea!

A movie should never be part of a date until the two of you are comfortable enough with one another to hold hands, snuggle up against one another, etc.

My advice is a casual dinner - someplace like a cool family Italian restuarant - and then maybe go to an expensive restaurant for dessert or coffee...or an ice creame parlor...or a hip bookstore...someplace you two can talk.

[bisonbison]

Yeah, the movie part was dumb.

[sfer]

Dear Peter,

I stopped smoking pretty much immediately after I got back from Vegas. Did you?

Dave