Pain ?

[vic1225]

I was doing some observations on my 3 year old nephew when I was babysitting him. We were playing outside and he fell off a rock, scratched his inner forearm badly. He immediately looks at me and has the crying look on his face, but I turn the other way and he continues to play. When he is around his parents he will bump into couch and start crying. My question here is pain a natural instinct or is it learned, do we change the amount of pain we can endure to who ever is around us.

[Joshssj4]

When a doctor delivers a baby, they immediately hit the babies bum, the baby cries. This is not learnt, it is an instict inside of us. However, what you observed is different. Children will learn that the best way to attain attention from its parents is to cry.

[shermn27]

I certainly have experienced the same thing. As a day camp counselor for children K-7 grades, I have noticed this often.

Not to stereotype (which means I am going to but ask you not to judge me based on it) but often when one of the younger kids would engange in a behavior that may or may not hurt, the female camp counselors would immediately console the child and ask if they are okay. Of course this promotes the, "This is supposed to hurt" in the child and they begin to cry.

I on the other hand always try to encourage the person to "get up", "you're okay", or "keep going." This often discourages the "I am hurt" feeling and thus prevents crying. So there is definitally some psychology to it.

Yet if someone really is hurt, no amount of encouragement can eliminate the pain. So yeah, the "natural" instinct is to cry when pain occurs.

Disclaimer: Now of course this doesn't work all of the time and I would never ask someone who is obviously seriously injured to "Get up" as this could cause further injury.

[deacsoft]

Pain is a natural thing. It is not learned but to call it instinctual may be going too far. Babies and small childern only learn the reaction from those around them. They also do a great deal of mimiking. They want to "fit in" so they do what those around them do. They crave for acceptance and belonging. It's a basic psychological need. Because they are learning new things every instant they rely on those around them for guidence. For example, the 3 year old in your example reacts to the situation when you're around calmly because you do. The parents react different so the child responds differently. They meet the injured child with shock and fear. This scares the child and the child cries more. It also provides the child with a loving type of attention, which they also crave. The level of pain will be the same in each instance if the injuries are identical. Only the reaction would be different.

[blaze666]

we evolved to feel pain because if we didn't, when we were injured, we would slowly die, and not really care, so pain is there to prompt us to do something about it, and since kids can't do that for themselves, they look to their parents. just ignore them, they'll stop cyring.