Money Problems, More Problems, and Why I Can't Play Cards

[Shoog]

For being as you describe bipolar and on a swing, you show considerable restraint in not playing. There are times when I can feel my mood is likely to diminish my judgment just enought to make me a loser for the session, but I go ahead and play anyway. I am reading more about cognitive-behavioural theropies for dealing with impulsivity.
My hope is that it will dimish the negative effects of emotional disturbances during my play. The craft of play is not so hard and there is plenty of room for art in it, but throw in a bit of irrational emotion and it all goes to pot.
Speaking of writing, I've always thought there would be a good market for nonfiction poker books, but not the trade books that now dominate the market. Having read many of the latter, I would love to read a more nonfictional book about poker that is not how-to per se.
Take that all too small section in the back of Cloutier's book about the underground holdem scene in Dallas, or Brunson's occasional mention of characters and scenes in the 70's and 80's. Great material but poorly and all to little presented in the trade books.
Sorry about your friend. Hope he recovers.
chrs,

[USGrant]

1 - You should consider therapy if you're not already. Many therapists are available that offer sliding scale fees. It's a worthwhile investment that is always +EV.

2 - Try not to compare playing poker and writing based on possible income measurements, especially if you're a fiction writer. I think people should write fiction because they need to or love to do it. If they do it for money only than it's probably going to be crap fiction and will just be a waste of trees. If you're writing as a freelance journalist or marketer, than there's more money in it (not too much) and it's probably a much more worthwhile pursuit than poker. Poker is a spiritual dead end.