What are your favorite lines spoken at the table?

[offTopic]

Commerce, old Asian guy is on lists for another game, but sits down in the 3-6 while the runner is getting chips. He's two in front of the BB, but the dealer asks if he'd "...like to play or wait."

<Slams the table>"Pray! I not the waituh, I the prayuh!"

He posts, raises, bets all the way, wins the pot with a flush (holding Q[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 3[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]) gets his chips and leaves. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[thepoet]

Bar league game last night. Guy #1 goes all in, newbie heads-up opponent thinks about it, thinks about it, thinks about it, for about five minutes, then folds. Guy #1 shows A-10 of hearts. Newbie had J-J. Dealer decides to rabbit and Newbie would have had a full house. His quote: "I thought he had a higher pocket pair."

[jba]

[ QUOTE ]
Bar league game last night. Guy #1 goes all in, newbie heads-up opponent thinks about it, thinks about it, thinks about it, for about five minutes, then folds. Guy #1 shows A-10 of hearts. Newbie had J-J. Dealer decides to rabbit and Newbie would have had a full house. His quote: "I thought he had a higher pocket pair."

[/ QUOTE ]

i don't get it

[Pokertini]

I convinced my wife to sit with me at a $3-$6 holdem game at a local casino. She had never played cards. I instructed her to fold all her starting hands unless both cards were 10 or higher. She had been folding hands for a good 45 minutes. We had been chatting with a couple other players at our end of the table. They were aware enough to realize she was folding a lot. Next hand, one limper enters the pot, the rest of the players fold around to my wife who raises. The guys we're chatting with start carrying on... "thank god I folded this hand" etc. The EP limper completes. Flop:
AA5
My wife comes up out of her chair slightly and loudly says: "Can I raise?" Me and the other two guys are cracking up. I said, "You have to wait for the other guy to bet first." Which, I might add, he DOES! My wife raises and he check/calls to the river. Trip aces are good.

[blaze666]

[ QUOTE ]
In a 20-40 game in East Chicago I watched a guy take down a big pot with trips. His hole cards were T9o and he'd cold-called preflop. Somebody gave him a hard time and he said, "They were connected!"

[/ QUOTE ]

haha, thats even worse that 'suited!'

[sharp63]

At a local tournament game full of drunken idiots...

One guy thought he was a real expert because he had been playing (probably read: losing) for several years. He had some great lines...when blinds were 25/50 and the avg. stack was around 1800 he loudly announced to our table that he would call any preflop raise under 1000 if he had two suited cards.

Later on a woman who had around 2000 in chips folded preflop after some guy went all-in for around 2500. She ended up showing us her K-Q offsuit and the whole table praised her for her AMAZING laydown when the other guy showed A-10 suited. The "expert" mentioned above couldn't stand to see so many people believe in her play and decided to pipe up: "That may seem like a good move but really, kings have been popping up on almost every board. You HAVE to take that into consideration. Bad laydown. Really bad". Even more shocking was the nods of agreement seen by a few others.

This was a $35 buy-in where first place was around $1150. In my time there, I didn't come across a single good player. I ended up losing when I tried to steal the blinds (probably a bad move knowing the loose calls seen at this table) with 44. The guy thought about it and called. I'm fully expecting overcards, but he flips over 35s. The dealer kinda rolls his eyes in disbelief, but donkey picks up a flush and I'm sent home. I'd definitely play at that tournament again because I think the only way a decent player will ever lose is by bad beat or being blinded off. There is almost zero chance of being outplayed or trapped.

[ckmo]

3/6 table at Mirage with about 3/4s of the people playing out of racks.

after not getting tipped a few pots in a row. Dealer looks around an says "Anybody ever watch the World Series of Poker on TV?" ...silence... then he says "Ever see em play out of racks?"

[WillieLove]

This one was actually said away from the table.

I got heavy into bar tourneys for a month or so, as I was fairly new and learning a lot there. After weeks of describing how I went out each night to my roommate when I came home, he put together some timeless poker wisdom:

"You know, you wouldn't lose so often if you didn't go all-in."

What was I thinking...that's the secret to not being eliminated! It all seems so simple now!

Willie Love [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[MisterKing]

MGM Grand Las Vegas, 1-2 NL table a few weekends ago. Two players are min-raising each other back and forth on the river in a small pot/paired board. Finally Guy A, who has a straight, just calls. Guy B looks at him, laughs, stands up... he proceeds to slow roll his cards while doing some strange Ray Lewis body gesture. His comment at the conclusion of this gesture is:

"WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!" - Implying that he has a boat.

Except, he has no boat. He has two pair. Guess he misread his hand, or something. Table busts up in laughter. Guy A scoops the pot... Guy B turns red, racks up, and heads over to the Studio Deli. Priceless.

[Johnny Chan]

I layed down a big hand one night at the Taj to some young punk-looking kid. After the hand I asked him if he had it, and he said, "Sorry John, I don't remember."

That was kinda cool I guess.