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#63
06-08-2005, 11:42 PM
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Re: A bad situation
[ QUOTE ]
So if a victim goes back to the abuser for the 9th time, and it happens again, there's no accountability attributed to the victim for putting themselves back into that situation? They have absolutely no role in it? [/ QUOTE ] Victims are not responsible for crimes committed against them. I'm not saying they should stay; I'm saying that they shouldn't be blamed for violence against them. You're looking at a big problem through a very small telescope. For example, do you know what you're supposed to do to get out of an abusive relationship? You're supposed to leave the state. Really. You are supposed to get as far away from the abuser as possible. You supposed to change your phone number, change locks, change your email, change your job, change your habits, never be alone... Why? Because abusers don't just stop being abusive when their partners leave them. They hunt their victims down and sometimes kill them. As I said before, the period during and immediately after a break-up is the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse. You can't just expect people to walk into more danger even if it's the only way to escape the current danger. Get it? Leaving the relationship is an incredible burden for some people, particularly if there are children involved. They simply don't have anywhere to go... 
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#64
06-09-2005, 12:02 AM
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Re: A bad situation
[ QUOTE ]
The trick is also to find a good therapist. Too many now just try and give a pill or refocus someones stuff on something else never really tackling the issue. And some just tell the client what they know the client will want to hear. [/ QUOTE ] Sign me up for that! My therapist refuses to tell me what I want to hear and insists on making me say what I don't want to hear. I'm sure there is a psychobable term for it.. I call it torture I pay for. I have to see another guy to get drugs and those aren't even that good. Bah.
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#65
06-09-2005, 12:04 AM
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There\'s only one good piece of advice...
Stay out of it.
When you kick his butt (which he deserves) and she goes back to him (which happens most of the time) you'll be the one left standing with a criminal record. You don't know the whole story. Its very tempting to be the hero... but it almost always winds up tragically for the would-be defender of the weak and helpless. The one thing you can do is encourage her to get therapy. She clearly has issues she needs to resolve. She needs to be able to take care of herself... you won't always be there to save her.
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#66
06-09-2005, 05:01 AM
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Re: A bad situation
If a victim decides to get out of the situation, who is accountable for that choice?
[ QUOTE ] You're looking at a big problem through a very small telescope. For example, do you know what you're supposed to do to get out of an abusive relationship? You're supposed to leave the state. Really. You are supposed to get as far away from the abuser as possible. You supposed to change your phone number, change locks, change your email, change your job, change your habits, never be alone... [/ QUOTE ] You are also looking through a small telescope if you think the victim has no accountability in repeated situations. Yes, I knew this. I never said it was an easy process. [ QUOTE ] They simply don't have anywhere to go... [/ QUOTE ] Sure they do. There are plenty of shelters around. b
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