I submitted this for college class am I going to fail?Itsa poem! *DELETED*

["spaceman"Bryce]

Post deleted by Mat Sklansky

[purnell]

Cute. I hope your prof is amused.

edit: I'm not one to get upset about it, but I think this really belongs in OOT, and I know you know where that is.

["spaceman"Bryce]

ya i guess you are right but i feel like I'm going to crapflood OOT and was done posting there for today.Also i have to read this in front of the class so we will have to see how it plays out....either way i will be amused by what they say about it...

[disjunction]

My opinion FWIW.

This poem is pretty bad, but you have talent. You need to get yourself under control.

Also, pet peeve of mine, from my quick read, a lot of the rhymes didn't appear to be in rhythm. A lot of people do this, it's just a personal pet peeve, because to me it usually shows a lack of effort.

[disjunction]

A couple more notes: the part I liked best was the line about "rigged in reversed". The line about the puke in the toilet seemed like a line that wanted to be good but for some reason wasn't, it was just too sudden.

The "wait a second, this isn't heaven, this is..." theme is old. That doesn't mean you can't do it. But it's just too sudden, not developed, basically when you wrote it you got tired and wanted to skip to the end.

Again, this is just my opinion, constructive criticism, I'm not trying to be an ass. I wouldn't have bothered to comment if I thought this was all bad.

[jordanx]

What class is this for?

It's not great poetry, you probably won't fail (unless it's a higher level poetry class).

It vaguely resembles something clever.

[TStoneMBD]

[ QUOTE ]
He had 650 channels and lots of bunny loving.

[/ QUOTE ]

[bukkrukk]

So, did you fail?

[dutchbrodymoss]

that, my friend, depends on where you go to college.

[Little Fishy]

trix are for kids