April has been a terrible month for me so far... (long)

[Messy Harry]

... though today I have had a couple of nice sessions.

I've had my share of winning and losing sessions, as I'm sure we've all had. About 8 months ago I had what I considered to be my first real downswing. Things were going along nicely and then the bottom fell out...just non-stop losing. It really threw me for a loop and caused me to question everything I had accomplished up to that point (I originally deposited $50 and worked it up to around 500). I wasn't sure if I was a good player running poorly or if I really sucked and had just been running well?! Anyway, things did turn around and I was able to get back on track.

I had been lurking here for a while at that time, but decided to try and learn more from this board and SSH and become a better player. I had been using Pokertracker for a short time around my first downswing, but bought a new computer about 5 months ago and decided not to transfer my old database (I don't even remember my stats from that time, though it wasn't a ton of hands) so that I could start fresh with my learned approach to Limit Hold 'Em.

And things had been going pretty well...until April arrived. My roll was making steady progress (not form whoring) and I hadn't had any losing months. I haven't made any stats posts because I wanted to get to 20,000 hands first, instead of 10,000. I have been thinking about moving up to $1/2 - I more than had enough rollwise, but wanted to get to the 20,000 hand plateau first to see where I was at on the learning curve, as I have recently felt that I really don't know squat compared to a lot of the posters here in Micro.

In an attempt to improve, I had been comparing my stats to those of other posters and comments made in several stats posts. I've been trying to get my vpip down and my agression up. I started re-reading SSH. But I feel like I have pushed myself into some uncomfortable territory and have played, perhaps, with misguided aggression and FPS (I would describe my play before this as somewhat weak/tight).

...so back to April. It's been a roller coaster ride that has made me sick to my stomach and left me feeling like I'm losing my mind. It started off with about a 140BB downswing that I initially accepted as variance, but started to get nervous about. Not only did I have some bad beats here and there, but my draws dried up and my overcards never came. To make it worse, I started playing like an over-aggro dope and sank into the evil ways of tilt. Even when I knew I was tilted, I couldn't leave the table. Not good.

I did manage to climb back to even and then fell into another downswing of 200+BB...precipitated by a short foray into $1/2 6-max, which by the way I DO NOT recommend for someone questioning their skills and confidence level!!! [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

I'm hoping today's sessions may signal some storm clouds clearing. I did get some good cards (like flopping the nut flush and nut straight out of the blinds...and my overcards came and held up), but I felt like I played better too. I didn't go crazy just to increase my agression #'s. I made a couple good reads that led to scooping a few pots. I did a better job of recognizing when I was behind and stopped forcing things so much. It was nice to end a playing session not ready to pull my hair out [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

I don't have any grand lessons here at the moment, just wanted to share my experience for anyone else having a rough go of it right now. Thanks for reading - I've got 2000 more hands before my stats post.