Ready to go...

[Shang Chou]

Not sure if this is the right forum for this kinda post, but would love to get people's opinions and input.

Over the past 6 months or so I had been playing poker recreationally with a 2000 dollar bankroll. I am a college student at MIT so this is a decent amount of money for a kid my age. At one point my bankroll was at a little over 4K, but I took 2K out and bought myself a Powerbook and some other crap(coke, hookers, booze, etc).

The stakes I played where anywhere from 2/4 to 15/30 on Party and when I made the occasional foray to Foxwoods, I played 10/20 or 5/10 kill. Also, played in a variety of homegames such as 2/5 blind NL games with a 4-500 buy in or 1/2 blind NL games. Most of my profits came from playing online and I have had a couple 400+ losses at a NL home game which resulted in me coming home and playing 10/20 6 max on Party, determined to make it back.

The 2K bankroll started off as 100 dollars on Party poker and I built that up playing 1/2 and slowly working my way up. I remember the day my acount was finally at 1K and I let myself play some 2/4. In retrospect, I took a very cautious route, partly because I have blown entire bankrolls in one day before and know how crappy it feels.

To make a long story short, over the past month and a half or so I have managed to lose it all. I know exactly why I lost: playing above my bankroll and tilt. This is not the first time I have done this. When you have 2K to play with, its usually not wise to sit with half of it on a table. I remember one night playing 2/5 blind NL and I took a bad beat losing AA to KK for 1000+. Because I was playing in over my head, I was unable to get rid of the tilt and always had the feeling that I was playing to win it back.

Also, I have done this sorta thing many times in the past(over 5 times) where I work my ass off putting together a decent sized roll, only to lose it a short period filled with tilt, 200 dollar spins of the roulette wheel, or 100 dollar rolls of the dice. Part of it may be that I am a really competive person and I hate losing or part of it may be I have a gambling problem. Nonetheless, I have been fortunate to only gamble with poker winnings and I have not had to go into my own pocket to fund any of these habits.

So I forced myself to take 2 weeks off from playing poker and just browsed the 2+2 boards and reread a few books and what not. I really think I am a solid winning player but I have a pretty gnarly problem with enjoying the excitement and playing above what my bankroll allows. If I have X amount of money, I wont be happy unless I have at least .5X in front of me, etc. Also, when I lose, I get over anxious to make it back, etc.

That said, I think I am ready to go again and looking forward to starting a new bankroll. I really don't want to go back to Party 1/2 but that is probably what I'm gonna have to do.

[Shang Chou]

Ha..had no idea my post was that long winded.

Here is the summary for those of you who don't want to read all that bullsh*t.

Me lose 2K ----> [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Trying to start over again = [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] and [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Probably going to have to play low limits and grind it out.

[zaxx19]

Shhh dont tell anyone

Me = Play poker for only 7 months of my life.

Me= Build roll from zilch to 4900 in 6 months. No multi tabling and not that many hands..

Me= Had a horrible week(personal problems) a month ago and blew over a K in 2 days playing WELL over my roll.

At that point I simply stopped playing for a week solid.

Started back up ...playing relatively low (mostly 50$ NLH tables) and doing better than ever.

When you feel yourself slipping JUST PULL THE DAMN PLUG.

To become great eventually we will have to sense it right when it starts and take a day off...at least right now its only 1-2K no real biggee man just skip that summer trip and live at home over the summer with a real job or something.