Bravo Celebrity Poker Drinking Game! (this will likely kill you all)

[Gildersneeze]

I was bored, with no game going (I don't play much online) and nothing good on TV, so I ended up watching an episode of Celebrity Poker on Bravo. Realizing that the only thing that would make watching that pile of steaming crap entertaining is strong drink, I almost cried, as I don't have any strong drink on hand. But inspiration struck and I created this. Feel free to suggest more criteria for taking drinks.

One drink:
-Every time someone raises/calls a raise with King-crapcard offsuit (HAY GUYZ I GOT A KING!)
-Every time someone bets less than half the pot on the flop with a vulnerable hand
-Every time someone raises to something like 10x the big blind with Aces, Kings, or Queens (Two drinks if a crap hand with no business calling even the blinds calls them, three if the crap hand wins)
-(optional) Every time the audience goes apesh!t over someone raising a small amount
-Every time the witty banter between celebrities is about as witty as a racist joke told in earnest.
-Every time the table announcer says "shuffle up and deeeeeeeal" as though the show invented that as a catchphrase.
-Every time a hot actress makes some sort of sexual innuendo towards the men at the table
-Every time David Foley has that "my god, what happened to my fvcking career" look on his face
-If the outcome of the "How would you play it" segment is blindingly obvious
-Every time Phil's pick to win is first to bust

Two drinks:
-Every time some retard in the audience tells a player to go all in.
-Every time some actress' smile looks way too big for a human being (when did horseteeth and huge gums become an attractive trait?)
-Every time the Phil's commentary shows that they obviously know what's going to happen before it does "So and so might bluff here to represent the flush but.... [insert some comment that covers for the fact that he was about to say "they're going to fold"]
-Every time the witty banter between celebrities is about as witty as an episode of "Friends"
-Every time the audience goes absolutely ballistic over someone winning a small pot
-Every time David Foley has that "I have no idea what the fvck is going on here, I'm just doing a favor for a friend by hosting this horsesh!t" look on his face
-If the outcome of the "How would you play it" segment is exactly the wrong way to play it
-Every time David's pick is first to bust
-Every time Phil's pick wins the tourney

Three drinks:
-Every time some retard in the audience tells a player to go all in AND it would be the correct play.
-Every time David Foley has that "I'm so interested in what you have to say about this game that I couldn't fvkking care less about, Phil " look on his face (this oughtta kill you)
-If the outcome of the "how would you play it" segment is exactly how you'd have played it.
-Every time a celebrity actually makes a rather expert play
-Every time the witty banter betwen celebrities is actually witty
-Every time both Foley and Gordon's picks are the first out
-Every "OMG SUPAR WITTEY POKAR JOKE WEVE ALL NEVER HERD EVER BEFORE" that's cracked by a celebrity, thus making the audience go completely nuts with laughter and cheers.

Chug:
-Every time David Foley actually looks like he wants to be there
-Every time David Foley's pick wins the tourney
-Every time the witty banter is so actually witty it makes two or more people laugh out loud (laughers must chug two if someone in the room is sober enough to realize it was only witty and funny because the laughers are hammered)
-Every time someone who is drawing dead says "YESSS" when they catch one of their outs to improve to a better losing hand.

Go bash your brains out with a case of chips:
-Every time the audience makes you feel like you're watching an episode of "Ricki Lake" rather than a poker tourney
-Every time the players make you feel like you're watching a bunch of retarded, shaved apes ook-ooking with some guy throwing them cards and chips rather than a poker tourney

Feel free to add to any category (or hell, make up more categories if you like).

[TomHimself]

pointless

[SoftcoreRevolt]

Drinking yourself stupid is never pointless.

[InchoateHand]

Here's my FUN drinking game!!!!!!

It's called, DRINK A BEER!!!!



But it gets better, because there is a follow up game for those who choose!!!!!!!


Drink another beer!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!

WHAT FUN!

[Gildersneeze]

Whooooa, didn't realize there were so many stodgy snobs that couldn't appreciate humor here. My fault, everyone, I'll try to be serious from here on out.

Side note: I rarely drink, and this was supposed to be a rather obvious critique on the show presented in a different than "LOL WUT MORONZ" form. It's obviously going to be taken the wrong way, so if the moderators want to close or delete this thread, feel free.

[DCJ311]

Good drinking game as suggested. I could only watch this show while seriously plowed. Very nice job of recognizing Foley's blatant unenthusiastic demeanor as well.

-Every time the players make you feel like you're watching a bunch of retarded, shaved apes ook-ooking with some guy throwing them cards and chips rather than a poker tourney

VN usage of 'ook-ooking' as well.

[cogger]

That was great. This is another "poker 4 dummies event" Your beer game can be added to that e! show as well.

[BradleyT]

Sounds like the plot for a new MTV show.

[Findalion]

I completely agree with your review of this post!

[CrazyN8]

I thought it was funny!

Sometimes I mix up my play....sometimes I mix up my drinking.