The scariest thing that has ever happened to me is...

[ThaSaltCracka]

sublime and sponger both just cracked me up.....

[B Dids]

Did you see the part about Tide's nut?

[wacki]

I don't really consider this scary. I consider this enlightening, but some of you might think differently. There are 4 people in this pic. (Can you find all of them?) The most enlightening part is called a "crossover". It takes me about a minute or two to perform.

[ThaSaltCracka]

yeah, that was depressing. He lost his nut.

[wacki]

My vote still goes to astroglide. Not to downplay losing a nut, because that is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a kid. But I have to respect anyone that can grow up in a shity environment and still become a productive person like astroglide is.

[Sponger15SB]

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My vote still goes to astroglide. Not to downplay losing a nut, because that is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a kid. But I have to respect anyone that can grow up in a shity environment and still become a productive person like astroglide is.

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Agreed. I felt like a 10 on the spoiled bitch-o-meter when I read his post.

This one time, my dad yelled at me because I used to not be able to swallow pills and he threw a newspaper at me because I kept resisting.

Also, my mom grabbed me by my throat one time when we were yelling at eachother. Another time we were arguing and she had a shoe on, and she went to fling it off cause she was really pissed at me and it went through a window.

[ThaSaltCracka]

well if the vote goes for shittiest life story then yeah, but I think the neo nazi beating is probably the scariest of them all.

[wacki]

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well if the vote goes for shittiest life story then yeah, but I think the neo nazi beating is probably the scariest of them all.

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Besides, no one topped Astroglides story, and its doubtful anyone will.

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lol, I agree.

[ThaSaltCracka]

actually from Jagoff in the "college...whore..."thread, this is the scariest story I have heard in a long time:
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My 2nd half of my freshman year in college starts out with a new roommate. I knew it was gonna be a long year cause this kid calls me at home during break saying "Man I can't wait for this year. It's gonna be awesome. Do you drink and stuff. Are there alot of girls at school?" Good grief! I have to room with a 18 year old kid (btw I started late I was 21) and I just don't know if I can handle it. So after weeks of trying to avoid my new roomie like he was carrying the plague I find out an interesting tidbit...he is rushing. GRRRRRRREAT! Now not only do I have to put up with his crap but I gotta deal with his "brothers" now. He invites me over to a social they were having with one of the sororities. I go there and when I look downstairs I see that it is HOG HEAVEN! These girls are large and in charge! I asked my roomie wtf was going on and he said "we got us some pigs for the night. These are the loosest girls on campus." Well of course they are they have NO CHOICE! So after a few beers and assorted drugs I tell my roommate that I am "hooking" up tonight and he can point out the girl that I can hook up with. That bastard points out this girl with some of the biggest real titties that I have ever seen but BUT she ain't nothing to write home about even though the rest of her body was just OK. After doing some research (doing research at a frat function is like beating your faqing head off of a wall btw) I find out that she is not that LAG! Matter of fact she is TP. Well faq me this is gonna be harder than I thought! Hours of dancing and forcing her to drink brought the end of the night. I go to the bathroom to make sure that my junk is operational. Junk is a GO! I go back downstairs and this girl is nowhere to be found. Well faq! There goes that bet right? Nay. I walked outside and there she is standing under a tree waiting for me. I didn't even see her until she grabbed me. We made out rather violently under the tree. After we finished she asked me back to her place. This big tittied bitch made me hold her hand the whole walk back which was about a mile! Holding a beefy, sweaty hand was not envisioned in my night. We get back to where my dorm is and I am thinking "ok why the faq are we going back to MY place?" then we head left and end up at the neighboring dorm. We take the elevator and she has got a handful of my junk, which is shrieking at this point and I have to dump the mayonaisse truck soon or I fear things will not function well in the future. We get back to her room, she opens the door, turns on the light and I stop. I look around and I think I have found the 6th level of hell! There are stuffed animals everywhere! On her bed, on her tables, in her closet, just everywhere. "Like stuffed animals much?" I ask "oh yeah" she giggles which sounds more like an attempt to swallow a 12" hoagie whole "I have collected these over the years". So she clears off her bed and invites me to sit down. We start going at it and she tells me that "she never does things like this with just anyone" I almost blurted out "well I must be really lucky then" but decided somehow in my alcoholic daze against it. She then devours my junk like some sorta meat crazed animal that hasn't had a meal in a few weeks. Fat girls give great head, well the one that I had. She is on her knees and I got the back of her head and it is basically like I am humping her mouth. She takes off her shirt and bra to reveal some of the biggest nips that I have ever seen. Her bush almost made me laugh cause it was 70's porn bush! Nairy a hair be shaved or trimmed on that bearded clam! I thought for sure I wouldn't find anything in that mess. Well it turns out this girl was a complete freak. We had to move things to the floor cause dorm beds squeak like you wouldn't believe. She liked to have every orafice fingered, fisted, gouged, faqed. And as a good friend once told me "that pussy was biting". She took my mayonaisse truck like every good girl should and was begging for more. but alcohol finally has gotten to me. I passed out. I woke up the next morning laying next to this beast and the only reason why I woke up was because of a peculiar smell. I figure I had farted in my sleep. Nope it was her! That fat hog was farting in her sleep and it woke the dead. When I was getting dressed she woke up and asked where I was going. I told her I had to get back cause I had a flag football game to play. She starts rubbing herself asking if I wanted some "morning fun". MORNING FUN!!! WTF?? She was basically trying to rape me so she could get some more lovin but after smelling those farts I wanted no part of it. She started calling me like 5 times a day after that (thanks student directory!). I never returned her calls nor saw her again (thank GOD!). That is my story and i am sticking to it!

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[ctide]

The scary part wasn't losing it, the scary part is waking up and noticing that your nut has swelled up to about 7x it's regular size. Try to imagine a pain in your crotch as the very first thing you notice as you wake up, and looking down and seeing THAT.