Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

Most of us can agree that you learn this game primarily at the tables. Sometimes, we are lucky enough to find a knowledgeable player who will "mentor" us about our games and what to do in certain situations. However, for every poker Buddha one might encounter, it seems as though there are at least three yahoos who make outrageous claims regarding probability, starting hand requirements, and general poker theory.

So, I would like to hear from everyone about the funniest/stupidest bits of strategy you've ever heard at a poker table.

One of mine are the people who refuse to play AK. AK is not as good a hand as some seem to think, but it's not so bad as to be folded preflop no matter the situation. Yet, I have run into people who swear up and down that they fold it preflop. One guy even told me that he believes KQ to be a better hand than AK.

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

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AK is not as good a hand as some seem to think,

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it is as good as I think it is.

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Heard it last night at Grand Victoria, Rising sun, In. Super nice old guy on my right, we were talking about flush draws and He said,"I see the flop with any two suited cards because you can flop three of them or two of them pretty often." Not an exact quote but as close as my memory allows.

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unless, of course, it's not. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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Here's one my Buddha told me: "You can play Ace-Rag and fold it if you miss the flop because you can win so often with top pair."

Not exactly stupid, but it's often wise to question your teacher. I also see a lot of people play any two suited cards, and any two connected cards - even among people who outplay me. Of course the point is that you only play high suited cards because you might need to win with top pair...

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

This is way too easy. A few of us should pool our stories and have 2+2 publish the "Moron's Guide to Poker." Let's see...just from recent games...

"I always play Q-2. It's a sure winner every time."
"KK never works for me. I should have folded it there but I wasn't sure he had the flush." The board held four spades, neither king was a spade, all he had was the KK, and the other player got two raises on the river.
"My limit is three rebuys. You dont want the others to know you're having a bad run" A regular at one of my cardrooms, on his fifth rebuy of the night, the third that hour.
"If I'm going to play 7-2 offsuit, I come out raising.I would never fold it if I have position."
Asked of me,"Why do you continue to plays those crap hands so agressively? We're going to catch on, you know." After I raised pre-flop, on the button, with KQ suited.
Father to son, who is just learning the game, "Dont ever throw away a hand with a Jack in it. Jacks are the most powerful cards you can hold."
One of my favorites...
"Damn, I missed that flush on board completely. That's like the fifth consecutive hand I played to the river and misread the board. Honey...bring me another beer."

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

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One guy even told me that he believes KQ to be a better hand than AK.

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I know a guy who thinks KQ is better than AK. In fact during the game he went on and on about how KQ is better than AK, he was short-stacked and went all-in with AK. Of course the big stack in the big blind called him with KQ. Naturally, a Q came on the flop, and he was knocked out by KQ.

I thought I'd have no better chance than the moment to propose him a challenge, where we'd play 100 hands for $10 a pop--I'd take AK and he could have KQ every hand. I even said I would let him be suited against my AKo. He actually thought about it seriously for a moment, then declined.

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why do you raise preflop? you haven't had a chance to make a hand yet

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

There's already a thread in the B&M Cardroom forum on this: What are you favorite lines spoken at the table?

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

My favorite was in B+M, waiting on the rails 3 hours to get through the 134 people on the wait list. I heard the guy next to me say, "Sometimes I fold if like, there's been like a raise and then a re-raise." Key emphasis on the word, "sometimes."

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One time at a live charity game a player told me after I flopped a set with AA and he had AK for TPTK that he'd rather have AK than AA, citing that its better to have a hand you can't overplay and that he had one of my "outs". I asked him if he was sure he wouldnt have AK rather than KK, becuase I could almost understand that, since many people take KK too far with an ace on board, but he said, "What do you think, Im stupid? I meant what I said." And he wasn't kidding- in fact he was getting angry that the other players were all snickering. yet when I told him I would find an off duty dealer and we could run the hands cold 100 times for $10 a hand, or whatever increment he wished, he flatly rejected my offer. So not only did he make one of the worst strategic claims ever, he didn't even mean what he said when he said, "I mean what I said."

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#1. "JTs is one of my favorite hands"
#2. "I always play 69"

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Saying JTs is one of your favorite hands isn't ridiculously stupid? I enjoy a suited connector in multiway pots. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Especially since it JT makes a straight it is always the nut straight.

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Sklansky ran computer simulations and Q7s is the winningest hand in hold 'em.

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Especially since it JT makes a straight it is always the nut straight.

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Someone's been reading their Lee Jones!

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Personally, I like hearing bad limit players talk about how much better they'd do if they were playing no limit, or how they can't beat small stakes games but can beat higher games, usually because people "respect raises" or whatever.

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I do this a lot at the table when im bored. Advocatae the new calling strategy that all the pros are adopting with something like "if you always call, people can't bluff you and you never lose those pots to bluffs." or talk about how trash hands have "trick odds" becaus no one will ever expect them.

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I have no idea who Lee Jones is, except another random poker author. I didn't know he had patented JT in straight form = nut, though.

But seriously, I see no reason why calling a nice multiway pot hand your favorite should be in the stupid saying thread. I really enjoyed the rest though, especially the ones by JA.

In calling a 3 raise cold with 52s
 

"it was suited"

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

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[ QUOTE ]
Especially since it JT makes a straight it is always the nut straight.

[/ QUOTE ]
Someone's been reading their Lee Jones!

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Just an observation, no offense intended. I also enjoy playing JTs.

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"Once you flop top pair, you have to stay in for the two pair, even if you know he's got a better kicker" [said by the guy holding A3o as I rake in my third big pot of the night won with AK].

-X

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"I had to stay in with it, them 2's have been coming up all night" Some guy who called a pre flop raise with 52 because earlier in the night the flop came up K22 and on another occasion the turn paired two's J282 or whatever. [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

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If I'm going to play 7-2 offsuit, I come out raising.I would never fold it if I have position."

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To some extent, I agree with the first part. There are games where I can make +EV plays from the button when folded to me with 72o. But the second part of the statement is obviously wrong in the games I play.

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'He just had a monster the hand before, what're the odds he had another?'

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pretty good one loki.

There's a lot of confused logic out there obviously.


Same goes in blackjack.
I was a dealer for 8 months....and people just make things up:
"the dealer has a 6. he will go on to bust 75% of the time with a 6."
me, "really? I thought the number is something like 41-42%."
"no (laugh)are you sure you've been dealing this game. the dealer busts 75%....i've seen it and anyone who plays or deals BJ sees this and knows it."

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Playing at a 1/2 UB table yesterday, I was in MP with AQo. I open-raised, and was 3-bet by player to my immediate left. We were HU to a flop of 10 6 8 Rainbow.

I checked, he bet, I folded.

He showed Ad 10d

I typed in: nh

He replied: I never call a raise pre-flop.... I either raise or fold.

Another player said: But 3-betting with A10s????

He replied: It WAS suited....


That had to be the funniest thing I've heard in a while.... an actual person stating the ever popular: "But.... It was SOOOOOOTED!!!!!"

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The other week i was playing live and this ultra ultra passive old guy says:

the only part of this game (holdem) that involves any skill is before the flop. After the flop it's all luck.

i hear a lot of funny things at the table, but i thought this was hilarious. and he kept repeating it throughout the night.

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my favourite bit of strategy advice i heard a few months ago at the tables:

"you see, every straight has a ten or a five in it... so if there's no ten or five on board, you know for a fact that nobody has a straight"

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"you see, every straight has a ten or a five in it... so if there's no ten or five on board, you know for a fact that nobody has a straight"



good gracious.
that one is so incredibly stupid I find it hard to believe someone actually said it.

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From a guy I knew for a fact had lost $1500 over the prior month:

Asked of him: "How have you done over the past month?"

"I'm up a little."

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[ QUOTE ]

That had to be the funniest thing I've heard in a while.... an actual person stating the ever popular: "But.... It was SOOOOOOTED!!!!!"

[/ QUOTE ]

Here's a good one that occurred to me recently...

Home game, low limit hold 'em. Player 1 is a pretty poor player who likes to chase draws and occasionally bluff. He's up a little and thinks he's schoolin' the table. Player 2 is decent and (like the rest of the table) has figured Player 1's game. I'm a spectator in this hand:

Preflop: Player 1 raises. Player 2 calls.
Flop: A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 7[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 4 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Player 1 bets. Player 2 calls
Turn:T [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Player 1 bets. Player 2 raises. Player 1 calls.
River A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Player 1 checks. Player 2 bets. Player 1 shakes his head and before folding, says he had 74 and the river A killed his two pair.

I look at him lazily and say "Shut the f*** up. You didn't have two pair."

P1: I swear I did.
Me: C'mon. You're gonna tell me you raised before the flop with 74
P1, first great line: (pause)I did?
Me: Uh, yeah. You did.
P1, second great line: (weakly) But they were suited.

By this time, the whole table was laughing, and even P1 had a tough time keeping a straight face.

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Especially since it JT makes a straight it is always the nut straight

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This is only true if your cards are not counterfeited. Do you see why?

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Usually spouted in jest...

"Never fold a 5 or a 10, every straight has to have a 5 or a 10."

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Ugh, three women at the table this game is ruined, they don't play right

Re: In calling a 3 raise cold with 52s
 

If I only had a penny for every time I heard that one...

Re: Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...
 

I heard that if you bet every hand from beginning to end, you will win 1/10 of your hands (if your playing with 10 people) and you win all the pots where people fold. This somehow logically concluded to a +ev strategy... amzing how people think this stuff up.

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Heard this Friday night -

A dealer said this in response to a new player at the table who asked what book is good for learning this game...

"There are no good poker books out there...all of them tell you to do something different". "Books are a waste of money". "Just play suited cards and any pairs and you'll do fine".

This gem was followed by 4-5 nods and miscellaneous statements in agreement at the table.

The strange thing is of the 4-5 nods in agreement 2 of them are regular players that I actually "respected" their play.

I thought about mentioning S&M but I didn't. As I watched the new guy drop 3 racks ($3-6 game) in a little over 2 hours.

#2 -

I have QJs in the CO -

6 limpers to me, I raise, all call (incl. blinds) 9 to the flop for 2 bets. Flop comes:

T, K, 7, (2 of my suit, 4 limpers I raise, and the button spits out this gem... (a regular).

"I don't know why your raising? These guys aren't going to fold". [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

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I thought about mentioning S&M

[/ QUOTE ]You fail, and it sounds like most of the table passed. =]

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My personal favorite came this summer when my friend and I were playing the 1 2 nl game at foxwoods. My friend Had just lost a pot to this guy when his opponent called an all in bet with his flush draw and hit on the river. My friend muttered something about the call.

His opponent turned to his friend and said something to the effect that "most people dont realize that if you have a flush draw on the flop you have a 50% chance of making your flush." Trying to keep a straight face, I asked him "really?". He was gracious enough to explain to us that 25% of the deck make up a suit, and with 2 cards left to come you have a 25%+25% chance of completing a flush draw, or 50%. Someone asked him about the fact that 4 cards of the suit are already out and he said "Its impossible to know which cards are out".

Freakin' hilarious.

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My favorite is when a lose cannon at a No-Limit ring game called my nearly $400 all-in with his 1 out straight flush draw with one card to come and said, after he failed to hit it, "I knew you had the Ace high flush but I had a chance for straight flush. I had to go for it. You know?" I responded with a very enthusiastic "Yes, of course". The rest of the table agreed.

(For those of you thinking it, the pot odds did not support his one out draw.)