Re: Children - what should I do?
 

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All this sounds bad but there is probabvly no better thing in the world, having someone who lights up and runs towards you everytime they see you again

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Man, I can't wait to go home and see my dog.

FWIW, I'd definitely recommend getting a dog to any couple that's been together a while. Kind of a baby-step towards thinking about kids, since together you're responsible for another living creature. Patrick, I think a good picture of Bowser will complete this hijack nicely.

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I am a big fan of dogs, have two, and am shocked at how little they mean to me compared to what my son means to me. Dogs are great, but you cannot compare love for dogs with love for kids.

Re: Children - what should I do?
 

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Yeah, that's it in a nutshell. Lately she's been doing a lot of talking about how much work it would be, how much freedom she would lose, how scary it is if they have special needs (her cousin had a baby with special needs - this shook her). All in all I think she may be coming around to my line of thinking (let's enjoy all that life has to offer and each others company - we should neither sadle ourselves with responsibility, nor place that responsibility on our kids when we get older).

I'm hoping I can nudge her in that direction.

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The special needs thing freaks me out as well. The correct answer Jack is to be honest and upfront with her, because seriously, this isn't the type of situation where you want to be the least bit deceptive. Come on man...

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I was thinking the same thing(despite being unmarried and childless). Is honesty not a good policy here? I would hope you could be upfront with your wife, especially after 4 years of marriage...I'm hoping you don't still have things to hide.

If you're scared, tell her that. If you're wanting to stay like you are, then tell her that. She may not like your answers. She may want you two to go to counseling(if she's hellbent on having kids). But, at least you would be making progress.

I dunno...maybe this is the wrong play...it's not like I'm any good with women, or kids, for that matter(independent almost-only child(brother is much older)).

Re: Children - what should I do?
 

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All this sounds bad but there is probabvly no better thing in the world, having someone who lights up and runs towards you everytime they see you again

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Man, I can't wait to go home and see my dog.

FWIW, I'd definitely recommend getting a dog to any couple that's been together a while. Kind of a baby-step towards thinking about kids, since together you're responsible for another living creature. Patrick, I think a good picture of Bowser will complete this hijack nicely.

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I am a big fan of dogs, have two, and am shocked at how little they mean to me compared to what my son means to me. Dogs are great, but you cannot compare love for dogs with love for kids.

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We actually have a cat. My wife LOVES her (well, to be honest, I do too). I am hoping that need to "love something/someone" will be taken out on our cat as it makes it much easier to pick up and go when we want to (she is a flight attendant so we travel often - something we proly wouldn't be able to do as much with kids).

With pets I find that they give you unconditional love, so long as you are good to them, which is nice (as good of a kid as I was, I hope my kids don't put me through what I put my parents through). Kinda like grandchildren/small children do I guess (although once they grow up, things change and they don't wanna hang out with you anymore). My dad, who has grandkids from my sister once said he loved his grandkids only he wished he could skip the middle man. I thought that was both funny and telling.

Food for thought.

Re: Children - what should I do?
 

I am profoundly curious to know what my children will be like.

Re: Children - what should I do?
 

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Dogs are great, but you cannot compare love for dogs with love for kids.

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I didn't mean to imply that having a dog was equivalent to having a kid. But a pet is a "baby step" towards evaluating how you and your SO will interact when a living creature is put in your charge. If your boyfriend gets drunk and kicks the dog, you may want to reevaluate procreating with him.

Re: Children - what should I do?
 

Be aware that the older your wife gets, the higher the probability that you could have difficulty if/when you actually do try and conceive. I'm not sure when this phenomina becomes acute, but it's something to consider. Some people wait until you they are millionaries, partners in their firm, or whatever, and then find themsevels dropping thousands upon thousands at fertility clinics. That seems like it would be a very painful, regrettable experience.

No matter how many platitudes people tell you, the realty is you won't truly understand the upside of having kids until you've actually got one. Millions of years of evolution take over, and the instincts invovled in parenting consume you. Nothing in my life matters except my children, and I don't mean that in a bad "I can't do anything anymore" way, I mean the "I would take a bullet for them" way.

Re: Children - what should I do?
 

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Be aware that the older your wife gets, the higher the probability that you could have difficulty if/when you actually do try and conceive. I'm not sure when this phenomina becomes acute, but it's something to consider. Some people wait until you they are millionaries, partners in their firm, or whatever, and then find themsevels dropping thousands upon thousands at fertility clinics. That seems like it would be a very painful, regrettable experience.


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He's got a while. This doesn't kick in until she gets past 35.