Why I Don't Tip: An Essay

[BusterStacks]

Every time I go to Starbucks, I'm ingaged in a confrontation. Not with the person taking my order, but with that little box full of coins and a few dollar bills. At first I was troubled by this. It's clearly a tip "jar", and the odd prices of coffee there certainly leave me with some coins I don't feel like carrying. Shouldn't I just throw my money in? It wasn't long before I took a stance on this implied tax though, and realize that there was no way in hell I was tipping at Starbucks.

You know what a tip is? It's something EXTRA. It's money paid above and beyond the item price, presumably for exceptional service. That's not to say my service was bad, because it wasn't. In fact it was quite timely. Having said that, I have news for you, Starbucks worker: That's your freaking job. Don't give me that look of disdain when I pocket my change, because why the hell should you get even a penny of it? Did you punch my order into your computer in a way that was above what you are paid to do? I didn't think so. No in fact, I can't see myself ever tipping you. I can't think of a single way you could possible earn the 35 cents I get back from paying from buying this overpriced Americano. You know who deserves a tip more than you? Just about everybody. How about the guy busting his ass at Burger King to make 10 Whoppers in under a minute? That guy works harder than your pretty boy ass ever will and he doesn't have a god damn jar sitting out.

You want to know who gets my tip? The bartender who pours my drink a little stronger. The pizza guy who got here in 5 minutes. The grocery guy who talked to me about the game when he carried my bags out. These guys get a couple bucks for making my life a little bit better, not some metrosexual hipster who fashions himself as an independant film critic in his spare time. It's not that I don't like you as a person, Starbucks worker/ cute waitress/ Chinese-Takeout cashier, it's just that you expect that I am going to tip you, and if it were up to me, you wouldn't get a damn tip from anyone. Unless I would specifically request YOU to serve me again, you can forget about getting anything off me. I can't wait for the day you say something too me, either. Because that day I will put you to the test: tell me why I should tip you, and I will. Until then, do the job you are paid to do.

[MMMMMM]

Just wondering if you ever tip at Dunkin' Donuts. I have tipped on occasion there but never at Starbucks.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

1) I have never felt that a Starbucks employee has ever looked at me funny for not tipping. (disclaimer - people are almost universally polite to me)

2) I know that tips are voluntary, so I wasted my time reading your post (I thought it was going to be a thoughtful essay on not tipping *dealers*)

3) I think the tip jars are brilliant. Fact: Most people hate carrying around change. Solution: Most people who patronize Starbucks don't give a hoot about the $0.43 in change, so why not give them a convenient place to deposit those annoying little pieces of metal.

[Paddy]

This rant was much funnier in Reservoir Dogs.

I tip. I tip everyone. Why not? Throwing your change (which will probably fall out of your pocket anyway) into that little box will make someone a little happier, if only for a few moments. It's so easy.

I should mention that I'm not some super-hippy who believes in Karma, or anything. I just think not tipping if the service was adequate is just silly. Take a stand on a more signifigant issue. Like saving/nuking the whales...

[BeerMoney]

I think Buster makes a good point in that, there are a lot of people out there working harder than those in the service industry that are making quite a bit less. I'm seriously sick of tipping.

Why should I tip as a function of the total $$ of my order? Who says the waitress at a diner works any less than the waitress at a fancy restaurant. People always feel bad when they don't leave a good tip, like it is their responsibilty to make sure their server makes a good living. Meanwhile, this server did not have to go through college or any lengthy apprenticeship period to get their skills. It is unskilled labor. Why doesn't anyone feel bad for the poor chump in the dishroom working twice as hard? No one felt bad for me when i was loading 40 foot trucks at UPS. Where was my tip? I did someone a service. I worked five times harder than any waiter or dealer. Nobody felt the need to make sure I was making $20/hour.

I forgot to tip a dealer one time, after a big hand I won. I was pumped up from the hand, and I said thanks to the dealer, but forgot to tip her. Some dickehead at my table said "don't thank her, tip her, this is how they make their living!" I told the guy that he should tip her if he was so concerned.


What % do you usually tip at a restaurant? Will you give a shitty tip if your service is shitty? Do you always tip your dealer after you win a pot?

** I do realize dealers have to go through a fairly extensive 1 or 2 month training period..

[Utah]

Why not save yourself all that typing? I can summarize why you dont tip in two words:

Your cheap.

[Slacker13]

[ QUOTE ]
I worked five times harder than any waiter or dealer.

[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe because they make $2.13 an hour and depend on tips. I am quite sure I am one the bigger tippers on this forum. I use to bartend years ago and know what it's like. I tip 25-35% for average service and higher to much higher for better service or a hookup. I tip when I get a carry out, I tip the guy that washes my car, I tip the guy that mows my lawn and on and on and on and yes I tipped the girl at Starbucks today a $1 and somehow did not feel compelled to write a 20 minute bad beat story on tipping .43 cents.

[MMMMMM]

I'd like to know if you have any other good essays we might read?

By the way, you still haven't answered my question about Dunkin' Donuts.

[Sundevils21]

I agree with you slacker. I tip at almost every opportunity, although not very much(i'm poor [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]). The lady on rollerskates who brings me my food at sonic, the pizza delivery guy, the guy who cleans off my golf clubs at the end of a round... not enough to make their living, but I make a point to do it.

[BusterStacks]

I plan to write several more essays because I often find myself defending my strange views. I haven't been to dunkin' donuts in years, but in high school I went there often and tipped because the guy was very cool and friendly. Some responses, I don't feel I'm cheap, this whole essay must have gone over your head. The point was to illustrate that tipping has become commonplace and needs to be reevaluated if it is to maintain it's original purpose. FYI, I have never seen reservoir dogs, but now that you mention it, I think someone told me to watch it last time I went on this tyraid. My next essay will be either on women's rights or reverse racism, I'm not quite sure which.