Cheesiest Pickup Lines

[MMMMMM]

“Nice top – can I talk you out of it?”


“I may not be Fred Flintstone but I could make your Bedrock.”


“I’m here. What were your other two wishes?”


“Does God know you’ve escaped from heaven?”


“I think I’ve seen you on the cover of Playboy.”


British Tabloid Article

[M2d]

I think that top is too tight. I'd like to see you in something a little more roomy...like my bed.

[jdl22]

I'm studied Math as an undergrad. Here's two lines I came up with but sadly could never put to use:

Why don't we go back to my place and make our intersection non empty.

I'm a Cauchy sequence and your pants look like a complete metric space.

If you laughed at either of these, in particular the second one then congratulations you are a total nerd.

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

"Let's go to breakfast sometime. Should I call you, or just nudge you?"

Actually, the wierdest one I ever heard was when a guy at a restaurant bar stopped the cocktail witress and asked "So...do you windsurf?"

[M2d]

Being from hawaii gave me so many more outs in the bar scene. There's something about hawaii for mainland people that makes them oblivious to the cheese factor.

ex. 1)
You: "you're not from hawaii, are you?"
Her: "no..."
You: "Sorry, you just look a lot like my friend Mahealani (or insert any other Hawaiian or exotic name) from high school, and I thought you might be related..."
Her: swoon big time.

she doesn't know Mahealani, whether she even exists, or, if she does, if she's beastly, but being compared to an exotic Hawaiian girl will make her defenses go way down.

ex.2) (credit goes to my friend Kawika at Colorado State for this one)

her: "so, can you speak Hawaiian?"
you: "sure, ala moana kahala kuhio"
her: "that's beautiful, what does it mean?"
You: "The moonlight shines in your eyes"

she doesn't know (or need to know, for that matter) that you don't speak a lick of the language or that you just named three malls in Honolulu and Hilo. it just sounds good.

[scotnt73]

"you should wake up every day and thank your mother for giving you a butt like that!"

[jdl22]

Sadly I don't question in the slightest that these lines would work nor that you have used them.

People from the mainland (my past self included in some, but not most of these things) have an extremely distorted/ignorant view of Hawaii. People think it's some sort of fantasy land full of nothing hot women and large men where people live in grass huts and eat nothing but roast pig and pineapple (well the more thoughtful ones would likely add fish to that). Part of the problem is that the tourist industry pushes this forward and people that go on vacation and only go to Waikiki really don't know any different.

My fiance is Hawaiian and has actually been asked if they had electricity and running water. The people asking the question are being serious. If they had asked about a heater then of course the answer would be no, but that's much more understandable.

These are things I have noticed or thought:
- most people live near the beach. I thought this because where my gf's family lives (Punaluu) is right on the beach and the first time we went there we only went around to Waimea or so and into town a couple times. So basically I was only seeing the communities on Oahu that are right on the beach. The last time I went we went around to the other side a few times - to Mililani and other places that are more inland.

- most people from there are native hawaiian. I thought this until I actually met a my girlfriend. This is clearly false, and is only true in a few communities there.

- Both times I've flown out of Honolulu back to the mainland about half the people on my flight had their US passports out. I've never seen that on any other domestic flight. Tourists frequently say things like "I'm going back to the States." While I know some Hawaiians who wish that were the case it certainly isn't.

- when my girlfriend tells people she doesn't know that well where she's going for Christmas break she gets all kinds of crap. Now she just says that she's going home and hopes they don't ask where that is.

Sorry to hijack the thread.

[M2d]

When people do the whole "you get to go to hawaii again" bs, and fawn over how lucky I am to be from there (I am, but their crap gets old fast), I ask them how often they pull weeds, lay tile, babysit, transplant landscape and wash cars on their "hawaiian vacation".

[elwoodblues]

My two all-time favorites:

Do you have and Irish in you? Do you want some?


Nice shoes. Wanna f***?

[M2d]

I've used 1, but not 2.

a note on their development:

1 actually stemmed from a true incident. I actually saw a girl who looked a lot like a friend of mine from back home, and who looked like she could have been from Hawaii. Turns out that she was half Chinese/half native american, though.

2 was purely the result of my friend's drunken state. The deal was never sealed with this line, though, because he was going out with a bud girl at the time, and any action would have been a step down. I'm not really sure it this one was the line or the deliverer. Kawika was 6', blond/blue (and 1/8th hawaiian, 1/4th chinese, btw) and a starting outfielder at CSU as a freshman. He was a magnet no matter what language he was pretending to speak.