zig zag

[mike l.]

here's a hand from last night i thought i played pretty well. but maybe im mistaken?

20-40 3am live game in so cal. great game in fact. 7 handed.

clueless a2c player who seems to have maybe never played this game before, but is trying to pick it up as he plays hours on end this night. at least that's my read. anyways he limps utg. i raise w/ KJo two off the button and a semi nit semi gambling addict who loves to hit the blackjack tables to unstuck himself after trying to play hold em well but bottom line is guy's a self taught so he usually doesnt cut it despite the fast most at the table are a little looser than him (he's not all that tight, i think i call him a nit cause i just dont like the way he looks shallow me). anyway he cold calls my raise and i smile a deep warm smile inside, oh no wait scratch that i just farted actually.

everyone else folds, i dont know why the blinds folded they mustve forgot they were potstuck so much. the flop is T62 rainbow. hmm.. not quite what i was hoping for but not too scary. utg a2c who is by now really sick of me isolating him with position constantly gets this scrunched up stupid bad kid look on his face and says in his broken english "BET" (how the word "bet" could be mispronounced ill never understand really) and does that weakass sort of slam the chip down thing. i take this as posturing primarily cause im a fish too and i like to take hands too far, but let's just be nice and instead say i had a delicious read on the guy that could not be denied. so i quickly raise. now guy i dont much care for cold calls my raise for the second time on two consecutive streets. hmmm... let me tell you a little something about this fellow. he wears this really gay awful baseball cap sort of hat (more like a bicycle riders hat you know the kind) that has this funky ghetto american flag motif. wait actually that's one of the things i like about him. and he works for the post office. he goes to sleep and then gets up and comes to the cardroom at 3am when the games are really live before he goes in and sorts mail and drinks coffee.. uh oh wait that's kind of cool too. okay well it should be known that i pretty much dislike everyone upon first meeting them, but then once i get to know them i pretty much like everyone. so there's that.

in the meanwhile utg doesnt waste any time looking confused and then calling my raise and postal's cold call. the turn is an 8 rainbow board. yee haw. it is checked around. i checked fully expecting the guy on my left to now bet his pair and utg to call and me to fold (after all being reverse dominated by KT, JT, K8, or J8 at 3am as not as kinky or fun as it initially sounds, this ive learned). checked around. you can practially see the little tiny motors, the slow rusty motors of cognition attempting to process it all, but total iq of maybe 200 between the 3 of us it just aint happening. blank stares all around, at least that's my read.

the river pairs the 6. hopefully i havent flubbed up the board on this one. it's like this: T62-8-6 rainbow. now utg pauses and seeing has he's checkraised about once in the past 8 hours we've played i know he's not considering that as an option. what is he thinking? im not sure, i had maybe 2 or 3 thoughts and they were just barely formed enough at the to recall now. they were a: monster, b: small pair or AK or overcards or something that he's confused on how to play here, or c: actually i take it back it was just those two things. but those two options just about cover every possible hand combination in the deck right? so ive fully considered all the possibilities. he bets and i pretty in tempo (god bless tommy for this perfect word cause i hadnt quite thought of it this way but man oh man am i thinking now! and it's good thinks! thanks pal!) say raise and place out 80 bucks in 4 stacks of 4. actually it started out being 4 stacks of 4 and oh wow im now just remembering this and you tell fans will love this, i started out going for stacks of 4 and instead it came out like 5-3-5-6 and then correct correct correct. a tell: the corrected bet. it's a bluff folks. so that was nice to remember, definitely not ready for prime time.

now postal behind me pauses, uh oh i bet he does have a hand. i think he's regretting having played pocket 7s the way he did. i think he figured it could just be a nice check down to the showdown after the turn was so polite. he gives me about four seconds of sweating and let's it go. and now the real critical moment, the moment of terror, the moment mike l. so sickeningly puts himself in so frequently: will the fishy calling station throw away a hand he bet on the river for one more bet when i bluff raised him on a non-scary river card?? he doesnt think long at all and he let's it slide toward the muck pile! GGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! sweet! yes! hot damn! a tiny little come in my head spurt spurt ah much better, mike l. you truly are the king of this rotten little 20-40 game nevermind youre stuck 3 racks at the moment nevermind youve been there 13.5 hours nevermind youre exhausted you sir are the zig zag master boo yah!!! and then of course after the ego orgasm is always the temptation to share with everyone there all the miserable sad gamblers envying your pot, just the temptation to pull it out and wag it in their faces and flash your KJ in all it's glory!! yes that's the ticket fuuck em all!

but no. ego back off. you made a good play maybe. so what, you still suck. after 10 zillion hours of playing and another 10 zillion of studying and obsessing it's expected you can accomplish a good pot-saving play every now and then. and dont give the turd in seat 9 the pleasure of saying "so what? you were bluffing with the best hand moron." nah just let them wonder, no info, next hand.

wow, maybe i really have matured as a player.