self flagellation

Just a bit of philosophy to muse over. I'm sure we've all (probably many times) beat ourselves up on the drive home over hands we misplayed or thought we misplayed, second guessing ourselves all the way to the driveway.


Many times we ought to do this; we did make totally boneheaded plays. But as we get better and (presumably) improve, I think we tend more and more to beat ourselves up over plays we made in gray areas where there was no real right or wrong decision, or if there was, it was so close either decision was not too far out of line. I think this is largely a waste of time and is more a human reaction to the fact that we lost a pot we felt we should have won and are second guessing ourselves about it. Again, I am not talking about the really bad decisions you make, where you know almost as soon as you do it that it was dumb, but I am speaking of the decisions where you are sitting there and see the validity of several different actions, debate them in your mind, honestly can't decide, and then get mad at yourself when you don't win that hand. If it is that close of a decision, I think it is just a waste of time to beat yourself up over it. Yet I think we do this all the time.


I know this is not an earth shattering statement and is obvious, but I still think we do it and it is one of the things that can really contribute to tilt in the thinking player. You start berating yourself over a play you made that was in a gray zone, and your whole confidence in your play and decision making ability starts to weaken. So for the rest of that session, not only are you second guessing the close decisions (where probably either decision would not be too far off), but now you start questioning the EASY decisions also. You may not think you are on tilt because "I'm still analyzing every decision," but you have become so self critical and doubtful that you start questioning everything. This leads to really bad play.


I know that is part of the fun in forums like this, to debate the intricacies of, say, raising or calling with A-K preflop when you aren't sure if it will thin out the field or not. I'm sure people will disagree, but I don't think either decision can really be that far off. I have read some poker authors who recommend raising with it, and some that say smooth call. If they debate it, I would say that neither decision would be horribly wrong. I know, if you are certain you can thin the field, raise, if you are certain you can't, call. But you are often quite uncertain if you can thin the field or not. In this case (and I think this happens all the time), does it really make that big of a difference? Is either one such a bad play? I don't think so. Yet we will make one play, and if we lose the hand we will berate ourselves and think, damn I should have raised/called instead, or even if we win think, I could have had an extra bet there if only I had....etc. I think this is unhealthy and a waste of time, and spills over into questioning our play on more black and white decisions. I've seen many posts in this forum where people get really worked up debating a point that is in such a gray area that no one could really say that either decision is wrong. When they are both so close together, I would say that is the point where you just have to let go and pick either one, they are close enough. I know some would argue with that, but I think the price you pay through second guessing yourself and eroding your confidence in your decision making abilities is worth far more than a decision that might be calculated out to be 1% better than another.

Sorry for the philosophy, just some thoughts. I've gone on tilt many times through second guessin myself (in gray situations), and have concluded it is only harmful and a waste of time (at the table, anyway, away from it it can sharpen your mind). At a certain point you just have to say, either choice could be construed as correct, pick one, relax, and see what happens.

And then DON'T SECOND GUESS YOURSELF afterwards, and think, if only I'd picked the other one, instead......

Maybe no one else goes on tilt this way, but it happens to me all the time in these close situations....

Tim

Good post. This is one of those many psych areas in which it's real easy to say what's best, but hard as heck to fix the problem. For me it took a staggering number of years and hours combined with an incessant desire to stop the self-inflicted pain combined with playing most sessions without a prescribed quitting time, with the next game around the corner if I wanted. For yer basic 15-hours-per-week type player, filled with anticipation when walking into the casino, with a life-style induced quitting time that will probably be ignored if stuck, it might be an insurmountable struggle, to do away with the self-torture, even when in full awareness of the problem after reading and thinking about posts like yours.


Tommy

have heard it said that this pain, this torture, is a part of what makes some people gamble....even though they do not realize it.

This is a great post! We all do it. It goes on many times. Money lost should be information gained. Use this info to FLAGELLATE your opponents next hand, week, session. Don't lose you head along with your chips.


G.