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#1
09-06-2003, 06:57 PM
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Mason does Sklansky forever!
Yesterday was a beautiful day in Las Vegaqs. A bit overcast, so the temperature was down a bit from normal. I had just finished tying my sneakers to head out for a morning walk when the phone rang. Hesitatingly, I picked it up. Vince?" said the voice on the other end even before I could open my mouth to ask who it was. I knew who it was, though. It was Mason Malmuth and he sounded a bit frenzied. "Yes Mason, it's Vince" said I. As if it could be anyone else. I'm a lonely old man that lives alone and.. O.K. let's get on with it. "Vince get over here immediately". Mason said and hung up the phone. Now for those of you don't know you must understand something. Most rgper's that know me know or at sometime or another time have accused me of being Mason's lacky. You know, errand boy, coffee mate, etc., etc. Well, folks it just might be true. 'Cause when Mason didn't say where "here" was I knew immediately that it was his publishing office. And with Mason immediately does not mean after your morning exercise. It means now! So to please the master, as if that's possible, I jumped in my '93 ford Escort. Not only am I lonely, I'm poor too. Do you think there are any woman out there for me? O.K.O.K so to please Mason I broke all of Vegas's speeding laws and got to the publishing office in record time. Mason was sitting in his shady green padded office chair leaning back holding a big Cuban Cigar between his teeth. In his right hand was a strange sword looking thing with a curved tip that looked like numbers but I couldn't make them out. He was poking it forward and back like the Count of Monte Cristo. Actually he looked a little like Amir Vahedi, LA poker pro, without the beard. It was a look of confidence as if he had just solved all of the world's problems and it was time for him to relax. After my unacknowledged "Hi, how are you?" Mason looked at me and said "Get the barbecue grill from the back of my Honda Hybrid" (It was a small grill). I reminded Mason that I was a vegetarian but he just kept on smiling and poking. So dutifully I get the grill and bring it the office with some fire wood that was in it. Mason then says "Light it up, get it real hot!" I was dumbfounded as usual. I didn't know what was going on. Mason never lets me in on anything until its over with. Just do this, do that. God I hate that. But one must know his place so I just do what I'm told and smile. The next thing I know Mason is pouring lighter fluid on the flames and the fire is roaring. Then he takes the sword thing and plunges it in and begins to grin, which becomes a smile and then bursts into diabolical laughter. Then he turns towards me with his glaring dark eyes and what I could swear was two small horns protruding from the top of his forhead and says, "Go out to the shed in the back and bring him here. The keys are on the door over there". I learned a long time ago not to argue with Mason when he is in one of his focused moods. He looked just like he does when he talks about Badger or Gary Carson. Oooh scary, let me tell you. So not knowing who or what "he" was I nervously headed for the shed with the keys in my hand. I quickly unlocked the shed and pushed the door open. There was no light and the room air was decisively thick and it was as hot as a sauna inside. I looked around for a light switch but there was none. Then I noticed that there was a little light coming from a candle in the far corner of the room. Apprehensibly, I walked toward the light not knowing what to expect. Then I saw the him, the "he" Mason was referring to was crouching in the corner. He had his mouth over a small hole in the shed wall trying to suck in as much fresh air as he could. There in front of him was a dogs bowl half full of scruggy looking water. He looked a little like Quasi Moto from the hunch back of notre dame when they chained him up just before his escape. His eyes were sad and he began pleading with me. At first I didn't recognise him nor understand what he was asking for. As I got closer and I could hear his outcry it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. It was David Sklansky! Mason had chained him up in the shed. What he was saying didn't make any sense to me. He just kept repeating "No more rgp, no more rgp, no more rgp". Over and over. "No more rgp". Then I remebered. Yes, Mason did not want David to go to rgp anymore. That must be what this was all about. Quickly I unchained David and brought him to his feet. His clothes were worn and tatered. It looked like he had been there for weeks. This, I thought, explains why I hadn't seen him at Bellagio's for a while. Almost carrying him I helped him to the office where Mason sat in his overstuffed chair just waiting and grinning. When David saw him he grimaced and cried "No more RGP!" "Yes, David, that's fine" Mason said. "Now come over here and stand against the wall and lower your trousers". I was stunned. I didn't know what to make of all this. I just stood there in shock. David didn't heistat and complied with Mason's order like a well trained puppy. He raced to the wall, dropped his draws and bent over leaning against the wall as if he knew what was coming. Mason got out of the chair, walked to the barbeque grill and pulled out the sword. It was at that point that I finally could see what was on the end of the sword. It was the symbol 2+2! My god it wasn't a sword at all, it was a branding iron! And it was red hot! As Mason walked towards him I could hear David mumbling , "no more rgp, no more rgp, no more rgp". I yelled to Mason "Stop you can't do this". and ran and grabbed him but it was like a flea charging a bull. He just brushed me aside and laid that hot branding iron on David's left cheek. David didn't even flinch. He turned his had and looked Mason right in the eyes and grinned his mathematicians grin that he shows when he knows he has the right answer. He just kept staring at Mason like a little child that was asking daddy with his eyes if everything was o.k now. Mason patted him on his forhead and then turned and walked away. Mason then told me to clean up the place, get David a fresh set of clothes and drive him home. Then still smiling he just walked out the door and got in his hybrid and drove off. Neither David nor I said a word on the long drive to his house. At his place I got out of the car and let him out of the passenger side. I asked him if he wanted me to help him to the door but he just smiled and nodded, no. As he walked to the door I could hear him begin to mumble, "no more rgp, no more rgp". Then he turned and smiled and walked inside. When I got back to my place I put on some coffee. I Sat down and reflected for a while and then went for a walk. After all it was a beautiful day in Las Vegas. Vince 
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#2
09-06-2003, 07:00 PM
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Re: Mason does Sklansky forever!
"In his right hand was a strange sword looking thing with a curved tip that looked like numbers but I couldn't make them out."
so that's how mason's thing looks. i was wondering about that. "Quickly I unchained David and brought him to his feet. His clothes were worn and tatered. It looked like he had been there for weeks." he needs to have a two week old racing form in his shirt pocket. wouldve been a nice touch.
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#7
09-07-2003, 09:55 AM
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Re: Mason does Sklansky forever!
Hey Vince. Are there any women out there for you? Oh, come on now.....you know the Babe digs your action big time! xxoo
P.S. are you lurking around the 15-30 swing shift? LGPG, Babe [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
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