![]() |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
Love him or hate him, Groan has a classic here. I grabbed this from one of his LV trip report posts on RGP:
"Next stop is the Gamblers Book Store (GBS) off of Charleston Blvd on 11th. Since Rook is in his Honeymoon Stage, the GBS is like visiting an Adult Bookstore, with racks and racks of poker porn for him to slobber over. While Rook searches for books to purchase, I spend most of the time talking to the proprietor of the GBS, asking him what new titles came in. Here are the books he showed me: Amarillo Slim in a World Full of Fat People (Greg Dinkin): Yeah it's a nifty title, but if Dinkin wanted the name of his book to show the greatest difference between Amarillo Slim and the rest of the world, shouldn't he have called it "Amarillo Slime in a World Full of *Honest* People"? Amarillo Slim is just a cheat and consistent angle-shooter, including the grandness of his tales. The prototype for today's tournament 'superstar' - a shameless self promoter who doesn't care about much except trying to build up his own fame, and then hopefully living off of that fame for the rest of their lives since they have little else to offer this world. His canned cutesy phrases grows thinner with each re-use - I don't want to ever hear about dogs trying to jump over pots again. Instead, why doesn't he tell us all his cutesy phrases for making a player show his hand prematurely, besides his now well known "Let's go!". That at least has some value. The GBS is a complete bookstore and has a "Subversive Arts" section -how to cheat the casino, how the casino cheats you, how to mark cards and load dice, how to become a card mechanic - you know the books Russ GCA buys and then claims as his own 'secret insider knowledge'. I told the proprietor of the GBS that Slim's book should be taken out of the "Poker" Section and be put into that one and he got a laugh out of him for that. By the way, what card is Greg Dinkin in the Iraqi Deck of Most Wanted? Play Poker Like the Pros (Phil Hellmuth Jr.): They had plenty of this book in stock so I thumbed through it. Its you basic John Patrick-style book, enough jargon and written in an assured manner to fool the neophyte its aimed at. Probably ghost written by someone else and branded with the Phil Hellmuth name. Rehashed starting hand requirements for various forms of poker, how to play certain hands, position, table images given stupid animal names (Jackal, Elephant, Mouse, etc. - I'm almost positive Hellmuth does not use in real life, more evidence of ghost writing) to hide the fact its well trodden territory, and of course stories of his own greatness. Stuff directly marketed at those that think meeting Hellmuth is an honor. At least Caro openly CALLED his "Caro's Guide to Super System" so as to give credit to the source material. Hellmuth just plagiarizes without admitting it, to the public or to himself. In fact this book is just like a slew of other recent releases- basically just interpretations of info they read in other books (or even RGP), not a whiff of original or inspired thinking. It will be interesting to see how many fall for this trap and buy this book, a good test to see how effective CardPlaya is in pure marketing and blinding people to the truth of its authors. I have a good guess that it's the same number of B&M, Rake Immune Low Limit holdem players (a.k.a. the Sucker Slot Machine Player for the 21st Century) that actually have a 'favorite player'. This rant really applies beyond the flood of 'Basic' style books to almost all the Card Player column writers, save maybe Kimberg and Sklansky- and Sklansky is noticeably starting to recycle old material. I can't count the number of times I've seen CP articles be nothing but wholesale author reinterpretations of something they read on RGP (domination, Morton's theorem, a hand discussion thread), or just a slight rephrasing of advice given in HPFAP or Super System. Very few of their writers have the brain power to do any original work. I'm not sure they do this semi-plagiarizing intentionally, but nevertheless we have a huge cast who are poor original thinkers. Their great talent is some slight writing skill that they use to harvest more disjointed ideas in the public domain and recast as their own thinking. Worse are those like Hellmuth and Danny Boy Negreanu who don't even have writing skills, who are simply winners of Shulman's drive to create false poker icons to build brand. If you are white, can write at a 5th grade level, and have won a few poker tournaments, that is enough validation to write for Shulman's rag- no academic background needed, no previous proven writing skill required. Just a desire to show your greatness and others' terrible plays over and over and over. Hell, if you happen to have a twin brother who plays poker, that's proof enough to Barry that you should be writing for his magazine- I mean they are TWINS after all, the genius as poker authors is a given! People need to realize that writing for poker publications in these times is not proof of high intelligence or even a great ability for the game, and that the weight given to the words of most CP writers is greatly out of proportion to its merit. This applies doubly from all the dropouts from the Tournament world who write for CP. Think about it - the cast of MTV's Jackass would make good Tournament Poker Players, especially No Limit Hold'em Players. Bam, Steve O, Party Boy , Knoxville - all fearless with a touch of stupidity, the perfect mix to succeed in Tournament Poker. The same guys who drop cueballs on their nuts and get pushed down ski slopes while sitting naked in an outhouse would do just fine in Tourneys if taught just a little about cards. And that's fine, nothing wrong with those guys and how their brains work. I just wouldn't ever want to have them teach me how to think, or trust their ability to translate penetrating thought into written word, whether in articles or book form. Don't get me wrong- it helps to be smart in poker and there are some sharp people in it, but the real smart ones are in the ring games, and definitely NOT strongly represented as CardPlaya writers. When the GBS proprietor showed me Hellmuth's book as a new item, and saw my disgusted look as I read a few passages, he said "Lots of people have had that same reaction. What's with this guy? Some people seem to really be offended when I show them this book.". The Tao of Poker - 285 Rules to transform your game and your life. (Larry "Wino" Phillips): First thing a book should never do is insult you with its quality. This book physically looks and feels incredibly cheap. I've seen better production values in those "Tijuana Bibles" you can get in Mexico - better paper, better spine. Just the one "Bloodshot-Red" color allowed for the cover, after that all they wanted to spend was on black ink. I really thought it was one of those free 'Guide to Las Vegas' books that they give out for all over the city for free. That's not true- those free guidebooks have better production values. Second, here is some kind of legal disclaimer that is printed on the first page that tells you a lot about this book and the confidence you can have in the information it provides (yes it was so funny I had Rook write it down): "This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the Publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or *other professional advice*. If legal advice or *other expert assistance is required*, the services of a *competent professional* should be sought." Just drips with confidence from the Publisher for the quality of this work, doesn't it? Good of them to stand behind the advice given, rather than covering their asses from inevitable lawsuits such fluffy poker advice is sure to generate. Who was in charge of marketing it using this "don't blame us if you lose all your money" , c.y.a. strategy? Eric "DaSpammer" Rosenberg and his ever-present, joy-sapping lawyer? Also on the first page: "This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases." Like if you want to use them in a fireplace to heat your house. Inside, you find the most stale Fortune Cookie Advice, given from one of the least at-Zen-or-Taoist people in all of RGP (for those of us who don't easily forget Wino's 24 hour, obsessive-irrational spew period on RGP, or his whole defense of UB/Aruba with 'shoot the messenger Ladd, he is the real evil' (BTW, having seen the Aruba WPT episode, who thinks the invitational was really for 250k? Nobody?)). Wino offers Little snippets of "Ancient Chinese Wisdom", shoehorned to fit into the sphere of poker. Reading from this book is like watching John Edwards taking his benign, broad statements and trying to make it fit a given scenario during a 'spiritual reading'. So to does Wino find a way to seem spiritual and wise while saying nothing real, just hokey, rub-Buddha's-belly-for-luck advice from an author who has demonstrated no mastery of the subject. GROOOOOAN. Whats next, should I say "A powerful winning force surrounds me" before playing poker too? Here are some rules from the book: Rule 81 - Know Thyself. Yes -nothing helps one know himself fully and completely than a paragraph or two from this book. 'Tao' makes it so easy! Rule 98 - Do grow your legend. Heeded by Wino and his fellow CardPlaya sponsored writers so religiously that they have this has become the golden rule of Tournament Poker. Part of growing your legend is claiming you are a frequent participant in the poker tour like Wino's back cover does, when he hasn't left his mobile home in years, lest he be away from RGP for a minute. But he does live in Monroe, Wisconsin, the known hotbed of poker and poker theory. Rule 101 - Deny your opponent access to his unconscious. Which then goes on to explain how voodoo dolls works better in doing this seemingly impossible task than chanting or magical potions or mind-melds (Weideman's preferred method). Rule 159 - Buy a Mirror. This rule was simply written after Wino met Razzo and his grotesque hygiene for the first time. Take the advice Razzo. I will tell you something though. I do quote from Wino's first book quite a bit, simply because his Zen wisdom in it lead to one of the greatest reoccurring jokes I share with my poker friends - recalling actual passages from Wino's Zen book in a "Mr Miyagi from Karate Kid" voice. I laid into Rook with my Wino wisdom: GROAN (To Rook as Mr. Miyagi): "ooooohhh Daniel San. If you awanna success in the pokah, you amusta "pick your times of confrontation" lika you pick youah nose-ah, yes Daniel San. That is Miyagi's key. Now goah sanda the flooah." "Ohhhh, Daniel San. Fortune Cookie Say: "Operate out of fullnessah", yes, yes, you must operatah outah fullnessah. Now go paint Miyagi's fence, boy." This never got old, as I laid out my Miyagi on Rook. Even the Rook got into it, but his Larusso is no where near as good as my Miyagi. Killer Poker (John Vorhaus) Rook (pointing at "Killer Poker" on the bookshelf): "Interesting name for a book. What's that about?" GROAN: "Killer Poker" is a non-fiction piece about a failed writer who developed a strategy for poker so flawed and ruinous to himself and his finances that it eventually led to his enraged shooting spree and ended in his violent suicide. Thus the name "Killer Poker". Rook (naively): No..., come on, really? GROAN (thinking): Actually...yes. Here are the tenets of the whole book and the philosophy that drives it, condensed into one word: Raise. Wow, who new poker was such an easy thing to master? Here is some actual fool's advice from John "Target" Vorhaus' book: "During your next session, commit to making an opening raise five or more hands in a row. Don't worry about the outcome, but do note the effects of your aggressive play on your opponents." In all but the most green of games, and certainly any mid limit live game or ANY online game, I can tell you what that opponent reaction will be - salivating glee: "A 'Vorhaus' Player! And sitting to my right! I can't believe this! GOD IN HEAVEN I TRULY LOVE YOU! ". Sure you might be thinking, "I might do this five raise thing, and then when I put on the breaks and just raise with good hands, I'll trap them!". Problem is, once you tighten up to a 'correct' level of raising preflop, you will not be playing many hands and its very noticeable right away. Your opponents should easily detect this slowing down period and adjust quickly, knowing you are no longer playing that fool Vorhaus' suicidal experiment. That book must have been written for the $1-2 B&M games where such simple tricks might take hold. Championship Tournament Practice Hands (Tom McEvoy and TJ Cloutier) I just thumbed through it, as I really had little interest in a Tournament Hands book. I thought they already gave this type of format (individual play of hands) in one of their Hold'em books - I'm not sure what this adds. Also, its sort of like the 'quiz' section in Sklansky's "Tournament Poker" book, but spun off as a separate book to soak you for another $30. There are a lot of better books with more substance in the $30 price range. The one interesting thing they have is hands from various WSOP championship events. These are interesting to me mostly for their historical context, and the surrounding 'story' these hands tell more than the strategic underpinnings. Wouldn't pay $30 for it though, and many of the hands are already well known. But come on- where is the TJ Cloutier book all Tourny Players REALLY want him to write: Championship Hustling - (TJ Cloutier with Tom McEvoy) Quote from TJ on the inside cover: "All the important stuff is here. I'll teach you how to borrow money without paying back, how to sell 150 % of yourself, how to walk into a room full of IOU's and not blink and eye or feel shame, how to keep backers from talking to previous backers, the 'Railbird' (TM) Craps system I use - all those things that has allowed me to be the #1 barnacle in poker! Foreword written of course by Eskimo Clark, whom I mentored in the ways of the Sucker Arts." Could easily be a best seller, the first book that addresses how to REALLY succeed in Tournament Poker. Sklansky Talks Blackjack (David Sklansky) OK, this isn't exactly a new book, but it's the first time I've taken notice of it and took the chance to look through it. Its like many other Blackjack books that are flooding the market, another rehash of a level 1 simple Hi-Lo counting system and Basic Strategy with play modifications, except with a much looser definition of the True Count ( strategy adjustments for "slightly positive" "moderately positive" or "highly positive/negative" decks, without giving an exact index number) and tackling the play of hands by analyzing each player total (how to play 20, how to play 19, etc). Sort of like "Blackjack for Dummies", but told of course in Sklansky's distinctive "Booming God Voice" style. The real reason I bring this book up here is because of the potential it COULD have had as a must buy book if they would have added just one punctuation mark to the book's title, and then *go over the top* with it: Sklansky Talks BLACK, Jack (David "And 1" Sklansky) (Excerpt on how to play a Total of 16) Yo yo yo, chek it -As far as hitting an' standing strategies iz concerned, only yo damn fool nappy assed momma would hit a 16 against uh small card, like she hits her crack pipe. It can be right against uh deuce or uh trey, buh nigga please - dis here iz such uh rare happenance dat ya shouldn't even trip about it. On da other hand, it iz quite likely dat ya will change yo' basic strat when da dealer shows uh high card, especially uh 10, muh beeotch See? I would buy THIS version of the book. Better yet make it one of those CD/audiocassette books and have Sklansky read it live, in full Ebonics mode. Instant classic. Positively Fifth Street (Jim McManus) The only book of real interest to me was this one, which I purchased. Its highly recommended, and I'm sure plenty of people have read it already. I'm not sure if it will reach 'Classic poker book' status because of the separated-ness and expiration date on the interest of the Ted Binion Murder trial, which is a large part of the book. In 5 years the murder story might seem less relevant. But the rest of the book will stand the test of time for poker players. " |
![]() |
|
|