My Evolving Attitudes Toward Poker

[Exsubmariner]

This post is inspired by my reading of several recent threads in this forum. It is an effort to better understand my evolving attitudes toward poker and what influences them. Feedback from those who have been there is welcome.

It started out as a really great feeling to know I could win. Of course, I started playing for enjoyment and then decided that I could beat the game indefinately. So, I took an amount of money ($500) and decided that would be the last money I would ever spend from other sources of income on poker. Ever. I beat the Party .5/$1 tables. I whored. I finally got rakeback. I never looked back and spend roughly $500 a month now I earn playing low stakes games.

I've been through boredom, obsession, elation, endless frustration, determination, hot streaks, cold streaks, bad beats, lucksack suckouts to quads, etc, etc.

My attitudes have been influenced heavily by circumstances at the time. Am I running good or bad? Am I playing opponents who are better than me or are they abismal players getting lucky? Am I there for easy pickins or do I have to play my "A" game to win? Am I taking a shot in an MTT with some "found money?" Is the buyin I'm using part of my "managed bankroll?"

I have tried several forms of hold'em, ring limit & NL, and SNG's and MTTs. I find that the same type of things happen in all of them. People suck out, make unbelievably horribly plays and get lucky, get such good hands they can't screw up no matter how bad they are. I find losing or not winning as much as I wanted to bothers me less the "less serious" about things I am (e.g. what part of the bankroll pile am I using?). I am more likely to get angry the closer I am to the end of a session if I lose my earnings for the session than I am if I have had a net loss for the whole session.

Ultimately, and this is the thing that is evolving my view of the game, I have made money and will continue to make money. I know where I can go and how to get the most money out of the game, should I need to rebuild my roll due to some insane cold streak or if I get out of my league and lose my "working bankroll." I know it will be incredibly hard for me to go broke. I will have to really try to be unbelievably irresponsible in order to do so.

This brings a certain level of clinical detachment. The reasons I enjoy playing the game are still there, along with the incentives to do so. However, there are less and less emotion driven swings in my attitude toward the game. I have come to expect a cycle of hitting plateaus in skill set, being weathered by forces I cannot control (spoken Variance), and constantly inventing reasons why I need to get better (part of the fun). In the end, I expect I will keep playing. I think that is the ultimate game.

Reading this forum in particular has been very helpful in keeping a healthy outlook. Thanks to all who contribute.

Yours Sincerely,
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